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Episode 84:

One Bad Day & You’re Questioning If You’re Good Enough? The Neurodivergence–Imposter Syndrome Connection

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Maybe you can handle a complicated surgery or challenging case, but struggle to write an email or make a dentist appointment and suddenly the task feels overwhelming.

One tough day at work seems to erase every win, and no amount of CE or experience makes you feel good enough.

In episode 84, we’re uncovering the neurodivergence–imposter syndrome connection, including how masking, perfectionism, and external circumstances can keep you stuck trying to prove yourself.

I’m sharing practical ways to challenge that self-doubt, work with your brain (instead of against it), and stop treating every struggle as proof that you don’t belong.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • [~03:00] Why more knowledge, experience, and CE don’t necessarily make imposter syndrome disappear.

  • [~06:00] How growing up feeling different or being criticized for how you do things can shape how you see yourself today.

  • [~10:00] How masking can leave you feeling like you’re playing a role that isn’t you (even when you’re qualified to be there)

  • [~14:00] How perfectionism and overfunctioning can keep you stuck trying to prove you’re good enough.

  • [~20:00] Why handling a complicated surgery but struggling to send an email doesn’t make your competence a fluke.

  • [~24:00] Practical ways to challenge self-doubt, recognize your abilities, and reduce the shame that keeps the cycle going.

Key Takeaways:

  • [~03:00] More CE Can’t Prove Your Worth: Learning matters, but collecting more knowledge won’t necessarily change the belief that you’re not good enough.

  • [~10:00] Masking Can Make Belonging Feel Conditional: Constantly monitoring how you speak, act, and interact can leave you feeling like people accept the version you perform rather than who you are.

  • [~14:00] Perfectionism Keeps Moving the Goalposts: When you credit every success to overpreparing and checking everything, it can feel unsafe to give yourself permission to do any less.

  • [~20:00] Inconsistent Capacity Doesn’t Erase Your Abilities: Struggling with everyday tasks doesn’t cancel out your clinical skills or make your accomplishments an accident.

  • [~24:00] Different Doesn’t Automatically Mean Wrong: Before labeling yourself incompetent, ask whether you need a different approach, support, or way of working.

  • [~26:00] Give Your Brain Evidence: Keep a record of cases handled well, positive feedback, and everyday wins so one difficult day doesn’t become your entire story.

  • [~28:00] You Can’t Shame Yourself Into Confidence: Challenge the expectation that you should perform perfectly while giving everyone else permission to be human.

A Truth You Need to Hear:

“You don’t have to work twice as hard to deserve a place you’ve already earned.”

Links mentioned:

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S2 Episode 84 Transcript:

One Bad Day & You’re Questioning If You’re Good Enough? The Neurodivergence–Imposter Syndrome Connection

[00:00] The Neurodivergence–Imposter Syndrome Connection

[00:00:00]

Neurodivergence and imposter syndrome may be more connected than you realize. Years of masking, overcompensating, and trying to meet neurotypical expectations can easily contribute to feelings of inadequacy, even in high achievers. Today, we're looking at the neuroscience and the connection behind these two factors, how it can play a role in chronic stress and burnout, and what you can do today to start breaking the cycle.

All right, let's get into it.

[~00:00] Welcome to Stop the Burnout

Welcome to Stop the Burnout, a podcast for veterinary professionals who love medicine but are exhausted by the people pressure, expectations, and the constant mental load that comes with it. If you've ever thought, "I shouldn't feel this drained doing something I care about," you're not alone, and you're definitely not broken.

I'm Dr. Amber Parks, a veterinarian turned stress and burnout coach, and here we talk about the stuff that no one taught us, like how to actually break the stress and burnout patterns once and for all, and how to stay in this profession without losing yourself. You won't find bubble bath, toxic positivity, or [00:01:00] self-care fluff pretending to be the solution here.

[~01:00] Connecting Neurodivergence and Imposter Syndrome

Let's get into it. Welcome back to another episode of Stop the Burnout. So if you've been joining us the last couple weeks, we've done a series on neurodivergence and its relation to burnout in veterinary medicine. Last week was the last week of the little miniseries, but I came across something that I feel like w- is really important in that discussion, and I don't see anyone talking about this, so we'll talk about it today.

And w- that is the role of imposter syndrome and neurodivergence. So this is truly from a correlation of personal experiences and talking to so many of you and feeling that imposter syndrome, what it shows up, how it shows up, [00:02:00] and then, like the true neurodivergent self that I am, I recognized a pattern and I'm like, "Wait a minute, how come we're not connecting these things?"

So imposter syndrome we hear so much, especially in veterinary medicine. Obviously a high-stakes, profession, and it is something that typically will have a bunch of high achievers, right? That's what our profession collects, if you will. And you have to be a high achiever in many many instances to survive and thrive and even to get to a certain point in veterinary medicine.

So I thought this is really interesting because I do see where these connections happen. And essentially what I made the connection is we mask, whether we , are aware of it or not, whether we're diagnosed or not, whether we even [00:03:00] think we have neurodivergence or are neurodivergent at all, if we're masking we're basically an imposter.

So how come we haven't talked about this? Now to rewind a little bit, I've had previous episodes that, and this is still relevant and a- applicable, but where the idea of imposter syndrome really comes from The concept, if you will, of how we see ourselves and our self-worth, that is very much subconscious, not readily available to us, but I do think it plays a huge role.

[~03:00] Imposter Syndrome Is Not a Knowledge Deficiency

The other piece is, and I will say it, this is the hill that I will die on, the idea of imposter syndrome is not a knowledge deficiency. I will say that again. Imposter syndrome is not a knowledge deficiency. [00:04:00] It gets labeled that way because that's what it looks like from the outside. That's what it can feel like from even to ourselves.

But tell me why then, my very much black and white thinking, all or nothing thinking, tell me why, if it is a knowledge deficiency, why we see, in this case, veterinarians, veterinary technicians, in this profession for decades and go to CE and get all this other knowledge and still have imposter syndrome, right?

Yes, there's a lot of knowledge out there. We're not gonna know everything, but you would think that more knowledge will banish imposter syndrome, and it doesn't. And that's when I started digging deeper and thinking, "Wait a minute, there's more to this." Truth- truthfully, this came from seeing a lot of posts on social media [00:05:00] of veterinarians sharing their personal experiences and how they feel like they have such imposter syndrome, and everyone commenting was like, "Just do more CE.

Get more experience. You'll feel better," blah, blah, blah, especially for, newer grads. And I'm thinking to myself, "No. Then why do we have imposter syndrome?" And I would argue, I know several really smart veterinarians that have imposter syndrome that go to all the CE, know all the latest stuff, and they still have imposter syndrome.

So again, it's not a knowledge deficiency, but it does rely on how we see ourselves and our self-worth. So if we think we're an imposter and we shouldn't be in the role that we're in, then yes, we will always feel that we're not in the right place, that we'll get found out. So I'm like, "Hmm, that sounds a lot like [00:06:00] neurodivergence."

So I came up with several aspects of neurodivergence. These aren't clinical aspects in the sense of you'll open that DSM-V book or whatever the fuck it's called, which personally I think is so antiquated. The criteria for ADHD And autism, if you look at some of those, are literally so antiquated, I don't even know...

That's why people aren't getting diagnosed, I feel, amongst other issues. But so I pulled these from what I experience, what I see in a lot of you when I'm coaching other veterinary professionals, as well as, this isn't specific to neurodivergent, neurotypicals can experience this too, but these are the factors that play into imposter syndrome.

[~06:00] Growing Up Feeling Different and Criticized

So number one, starting out with for many of us growing up, maybe we felt [00:07:00] different. We were criticized for things that, looking back, really weren't worthy of criticism in a way. And like I, I don't know what ca- why this came to me, but way back when, this is even before I was in school, they would... You learned like to write with a pen and pencil.

You learned to write In a way that you had to use your right hand. So a million years ago, they would force you if you were left-handed, they would force you to write with your right hand, which is insane, right? Now that we think about this. So it was one of those things that you got criticized for, but, I mean, truthfully, does it really fucking matter?

No. But you can see where that's a very s- tiny example, things that were normalized that you had to conform to certain ways, and if you didn't, you were criticized, which now in the grand scheme of things [00:08:00] seem pretty ridiculous. But in our tiny little brains, in our very young childhood, those things get logged in our brains as, "Oh, that was criticism.

That didn't feel good. I did something wrong. I can't do that." And it is especially difficult being neurodivergent if you really want to do something a certain way, or you could only learn a certain way, but that wasn't the way to do it. I don't know why this just came to me, but fucking math. M-A-T-H, math.

So I wasn't that great at math, to be honest. My dad is really good with numbers. Thank God. He was a great mentor, but there were many nights crying at the kitchen table doing math homework. I think I saw a meme not that long ago, and I sent it to my dad. I was like, "Hey, this is, this was us," and it said exactly that.

So having [00:09:00] said that though, you learn, let's say, long division. You learn it a certain way, and then when I had friends that had kids that were in school, they learned math... I forget what it's called. This just came to me but I can't remember the name of it. But there was , like a type of way to teach it, and that- Is completely different to how we learned it.

I don't, from what I learned, now granted, this is what I learned, like long division a certain way, so to me, that's what makes sense now. But the way that it was they were teaching kids, I was like, "Why are we having so many steps? Why is this so difficult?" So it's one of those things that, I mean, if it helps make it easier to learn, great, but is it just one of those things that gets criticized?

No, even though you get to the answer, we want you to do it this way. You can't do it the old way. So it's the same thing. Those are little things that do get logged in our brain as "Oh, that wasn't good," or, "I was criticized for it," even though you might have gotten the [00:10:00] answer correctly, they, you know, "Show your work.

[~10:00] Masking and Meeting Societal Expectations

We want to see how you got there," et cetera. So that's where these changes can start, and they really start to log into our brain as something to be aware of or , "Oh, we did this wrong." So that's number one. Number two is masking, which is, essentially goes along the same way, right? So masking is when we are really covering who we are, so talk about imposter.

We're acting or saying or doing things in a way that are more societal, that are more acceptable by society, I would say. So we're meeting societal and professional expectations. So those may not be things that come natural to us, so it does take a lot of more energy, and in, in doing that, and taking more energy, then that is taking more of our mental bandwidth.

Again, not realizing [00:11:00] that it is doing that. So all that self-monitoring behavior trying to inhibit certain behaviors or stimming, that inadvertently creates this increased demand on our attention to those details because we're doing things like eye contact, let's say. We might learn, whether it's even consciously or just subconsciously, that we have to make eye contact.

So now we're cognitively and consciously reminding ourselves, "Oh, I have to make eye contact look them in the eye. Oh, you're looking away, you gotta look back." So those are things that we are doing to really make sure that we meet, "Oh, okay I'm in this place where I'm meeting societal expectations, so no one's gonna think I'm weird.

I won't stick out." But we don't realize, yeah, this is doing a lot of taxing on our attention. [00:12:00] So I also think, too That we feel as though people will think I'm more competent because this is who everyone else is. So then we become, this is where we kinda diverge away from who we are, and then this imposter of who we become.

And then we start to see there's kind of, like, two different people. One that, the person that we are out in the world, and then the person that we are ourselves normally. And that's where, yeah, covering up with the masking, we're going to end up being more like someone else whether we realize it or not.

[~12:00] The Hidden Energy Cost of Social Interactions

So that sustained cognitive and emotional effort will absolutely lead to exhaustion. And I would say most of the time we don't realize it. This can happen a lot of times going to a s- a social event. And maybe you like going to social events 'cause you like talking with maybe new [00:13:00] people or meeting your friends out and, or yeah, that's the other thing.

You could be meeting people . It's in a small group. Maybe you go out for drinks and dinner, and you're like, "That was so much fun." But you get home and you're like, "Ugh, I'm so exhausted. This, it just took a lot of effort." I know for me that happens, but it also happens because I, now realizing I'm much more sensitive than the average person, so hence this fits with the neurodivergence, of things like sounds and smells and the lights.

So is it really bright? Is it a really loud restaurant? Which drives me nuts. I also feel like I'm becoming really old because I hate going into restaurants where you have to yell across the table to have a conversation. And for whatever reason, the pitch of my voice, it easily gets drowned out. Whereas I know my boyfriend or [00:14:00] you're, talking to a, a man, it's so much easier 'cause their voice is deeper that you can actually hear them.

[~14:00] Perfectionism and Trying to Avoid Mistakes

So that drives me insane. So it's, those are sustained cognitive efforts that will absolutely make you more exhausted after social interactions. Not to mention, especially if you've been doing it for decades, we're watching, our eye contact and all those things as well. So that's another one. Third one, perfection.

Well, no shit. We see this so much in our profession. And I get it. We have a very narrow window of error, which some would argue is a nonexistent window of error. And so when we are making mistakes, obviously they could be really catastrophic. They could be really big, and we tend to, though, we over prepare, we can overwork, over function just to avoid those mistakes [00:15:00] and criticism, right? And we've learned as kids that any sort of criticism is bad, so we want to avoid that because we learned that in our childhood. The really fucked up part is that we end up getting rewarded for being close to perfect. And I say close to perfect because no one is perfect, regardless of what your brain is telling you.

So all of this sustained effort, focus, cognitive capacity is so focused on being perfect, and then it works. We, if we make a mistake, maybe it's very minuscule, or it's... or we don't make a mistake in a certain case or during a couple days' time or whatever factor that is. But what happens is now we told ourselves it's possible.

It's possible to be perfect. It's possible to do things well. So [00:16:00] that is the part that is really messed up because what we don't realize is we have now told ourselves, "Hey, it is a good thing to be perfect. It is a good thing to strive really hard, and it is possible." And we also then look at other people around us and think, "Oh, these people can absolutely or are perfect, and so we can continue to do that too.

And they must, because they're perfect, then I should be able to do that. When really that's not really what's going on, but that's what we see, and that's what we tell ourselves. And because we think that we're different to some degree, we think, "Oh, it's easier for other people, so it must be that it's easier and they're perfect, so I can do that as well," not realizing both of those things are not true.

[~16:00] Hypervigilance, Checking, and Temporary Relief

So what also happens is our threat anticipation and this anxiety [00:17:00] that comes with the potential of making a mistake or knowing we could make a mistake increases our vigilance. So we become hypervigilant, so we're always checking things, double-checking, quadruple-checking. Maybe this is like drug calculations, and I used to do this a lot, not realizing it.

Maybe there's some OCD characteristics here. I don't know. I wouldn't be the one to diagnose you with that. But I used to like double, triple-check, and it was something simple like an antibiotic that I prescribed a million times before. So what happens is when we become hypervigilant, we have this temporary decrease in reducing our anxiety because, oh, I was able to control this one thing, we think we're controlling it, to avoid a mistake.

So my brain thinks, "Oh, if I just work hard and are hypervigilant, then I won't make a mistake, so therefore, I will avoid criticism [00:18:00] and potentially catastrophic mistakes." Okay. That thing right there, all of that, sounds really, really exhausting. So that's where our constant perfectionism, and you can argue this could start in elementary school or middle school, all through high school, undergrad, vet school, and then into practice.

[~18:00] The Double Standard We Set for Ourselves

And I, and I think there's two different parts here. One is that many of us, and maybe listening you'll say, "Yes, I know, Amber, no one's perfect. We'll make mistakes." But somehow we don't give ourselves that compassion. We'll say, "Yeah, but..."

For ourselves, , "This is possible," or, "I shouldn't have made this mistake." So it's almost like there's a disconnect between how we see others and what is acceptable for us. We put ourselves at a higher level, not because we think we're better, but because we think we're just trying to get to where other people easily are at, which is absolutely not the case, but our brain has tricked us into [00:19:00] thinking that that is possible.

So what happens here, though, is that we realize if I make a mistake, then I will be found out as not being competent. Because remember, we've already told our brains that, yes, logically we know people make mistakes, but my colleague, whomever, is ... never makes a mistake, and it's always other people never make mistakes. We have this double standard. But that's where we see this disconnect between if I make a mistake, then I will be found out as competent. We think other people are perfect and that we're the only ones that are having this challenge. So no wonder why we have imposter syndrome if we keep telling ourselves that we will be found out if we make a mistake.

[~19:00] Executive Function and Inconsistent Performance

So you see how this is just a vicious cycle. The last part here, and we'll go into how to resolve these, but the last part [00:20:00] is when we have this executive dysfunction, we tend to have inconsistent performance, so we have trouble with ... I say trouble. I hate that. It's not that we have trouble, 'cause we really, being neurodivergent, you can excel at other things.

But things like planning, task initiation, our attention, emotional regulation, we know, and if you've listened to my past episodes when we have a lot of focus on our executive function capabilities, it takes a lot of effort to do that. But when we're stressed and our amygdala, that fight or flight part of our brain, is activated, the prefrontal cortex goes offline essentially.

So it becomes harder to do that in someone that it is already challenging on a good day So taking that all into consideration, you can see where we can have very highly intelligent people that are [00:21:00] very capable, but we can go do some crazy surgery and then get home and, I can't do those dishes, I can't fold the laundry, I can't make that doctor's appointment I'm supposed to.

So there's this double standard again where I can't do those things, but yet I just did this surgery. So they don't fit with our brain. And so we think, "Well, if we can do this surgery, we should be able to do these other things." So hence, here comes in this incompetent. Or we think, "Well, I can't do the laundry and, and make the doctor's appointment, so the fact that I just did this crazy surgery today must be a fluke.

I studied about this particular surgery. I did it. Yeah, the pet did fine, but that was probably just a one-off. If I were to do this 20 more times, I'm sure I would've messed up." So that's where the smoldering imposter syndrome comes from. Now, the really messed up part is that because we [00:22:00] see this disconnect, we tend to think, "Okay if I just work harder, then I can do those things.

[~22:00] Working With Your Brain Instead of Pushing Harder

I can do the laundry. I can send the email. I can make the doctor's appointment." And we just push ourselves harder and harder to compensate for the challenges with executive functioning instead of working in ways that work with our brain. So recognizing, "Oh, okay, you know what? That's, that, that is not something I can do today.

I'm gonna do this a different day, or I'm gonna have someone help me do this, or I'm gonna do half the dishes and not all of them." Working with... That's where that all or nothing thinking comes in, but working with our brain instead of against it and trying to fit ourselves into the same box that many other people are in that we think is the only box to be in.

So that's why we burn out, because just one of those factors that I mentioned, but I'm [00:23:00] sure many of us have almost all and maybe more factors that go into this. And again, we're just trying to work harder because our cognitive association here is that, "Well, if I can do this crazy surgery, then I should be able to write an email or make a doctor's appointment."

[~23:00] Send Your Questions for a Future Episode

And so there- Not realizing that two things can be true at the same time. So that's where we really want to focus on recognizing what does work for us and not shaming it. So how do we start getting out of imposter syndrome if this is truly what's going on? So let's get into that. Before we get into it, real quick, if you're listening to this and you're thinking, "Oh my gosh, this really tracks, this makes a lot of sense," and you now feel like there's a situation at work that you're like, "I don't even know how to work with this, with my neurodivergent brain," or, "I [00:24:00] don't even know how to approach this challenge that I've had at work that keeps coming up and I keep trying to fix it," I am

I'm trying something a little bit different here. I want you to send me a DM on Instagram, so follow me so it doesn't go into my request folders. It's @dr.amberparks, and send me a DM, send me your question. I might answer it on an upcoming podcast episode, and I will keep it all anonymous so, keep things like names, people, places, that sort of stuff out of it.

And, but I obviously, I'm not gonna... I will say the question anonymously, but I will answer it, too. So if you want some, "Hey, I have this thing that's going on at work, it's really driving me nuts. I've tried certain things. I don't know how to move through it," I wanna help you with it. So send me a DM.

[~24:00] Awareness: Incompetence or a Different Way of Working?

Okay. Now, into the solutions. Number one, we need to have awareness, obviously. Now that you're listening to this episode, you might have, hopefully, a couple light bulbs have gone off, and you're thinking, [00:25:00] "Oh, okay. Now I see what's going on here." And I'm gonna be more aware and cognizant of why I'm feeling a certain way, and giving ourselves permission to really ask yourself, is this actual incompetence?

Like, when you're really feeling imposter syndrome, are you truly incompetent, or are you just working differently in a way that maybe we've been criticized before for, "No, you can't do it that way." Which, sure, there are certain things you have to do a certain way, but it ain't everything, okay? Are you actually incompetent, or are you just working differently?

Is there something that you feel like, you're like, oh my gosh I don't know why this came to me, but acid bases. Acid base, learning that in vet school was so challenging. So instead of being like, "Oh my goodness I don't know what I'm doing. This... I'm so incompetent. Everyone else knows how to do this.

I must be an idiot." [00:26:00] Just thinking "Hey, maybe it's this thing that I don't know, but there's another thing that I know really well that someone else has trouble with." That's what we forget. It's a trade-off. So are we working, are we truly incompetent, or are we just working differently? This concept is hard, but this other concept is really easy.

[~26:00] Keep Evidence of Your Abilities and Wins

So we have to show ourselves evidence that that is true. And that's the next one that I love, is making a list of things that you've done well. And this doesn't have to be crazy things. This could be that you Did a surgery well, or it was like a cat spay and you did it under 15 minutes and the pet was, did great.

Things that, I guess that's not even really a little thing, but we wanna show your brain evidence that you are not an imposter. So the things that you really struggle with that, that little voice in your head starts to creep in and tell you, "Hey, I don't know if you should be doing this. I don't think [00:27:00] you're the right person for this."

Ask yourself what is it? Is it a case? Is it a scenario, situation? What is it that you are telling yourself you're incompetent? And then we want to recognize the areas when you do those things that you do really well, write that down. Make a list for yourself. Because when you make a list for yourself, when we feel incompetent again, go back to the list.

Our brain likes and wants actual evidence, and I think more so for us nerdy, scientific people, we want that concrete evidence to show us that even though my brain is telling me this, there's actual evidence that tells me different, and tells me otherwise. Our brain will delete that information that is actually beneficial if it doesn't fit with what we think.

If what we think is that we're an imposter, we're going to keep finding evidence that that is true. So we want to reverse that. So keep a list, whether that's writing it down, [00:28:00] keeping it in your notes folder, going back to it. This works so well. You can literally do this for anything. And even on those days that you have, are really hard days in veterinary medicine, you don't think you can do anything right, you think all the clients are awful when those clients do write you a thank you card or a thank you email or drop off flowers or whatever- Keep a record of that so you can go back to that, and when you're really feeling crappy and like, "What am I doing with my life?

Why am I in this profession?" You can go back to that list and show your brain evidence that day that feels really crappy and heavy is not every day and is not every case, because you have these ones that are, have gone well. So that is hugely, hugely important. And the last piece is really reducing shame.

[~28:00] Reducing Shame and Challenging Expectations

So it's very easy to shame ourselves, probably because it started as a child, and shaming ourselves for, [00:29:00] "Why did you do it that way? You did it wrong," or, "You shouldn't have done it that way." So reducing shame because let's be honest, that helps no one. Literally helps no one. If you could just shame your way out of imposter syndrome, you probably would have already done that by now, right?

Because I'm sure you have a lot of it. I know I did. So we tend to sit in that shame, which is not helpful, and it can be very debilitating. So reducing that shame by challenging what your expectations are for yourself, so being realistic. When we see other people excelling and doing well, and I know part of your brain, your logical brain knows this, but the other part of your brain doesn't, and that can be the part that takes over when we're stressed or overwhelmed.

[~29:00] Confirmation Bias and Comparing Yourself With Colleagues

But we have this confirmation bias, meaning if we think everyone else, maybe this is two [00:30:00] colleagues you work with, they never make a mistake, they always do well. Those, again, our brain is only gonna collect evidence that that is true. So if you feel as though that really is the case, you won't remember a little fuckup that they did or a little mistake, or you might not even see that because maybe that's not something that gets talked about.

So again, unrealistically, our brain is telling us, "Okay those two other doctors, they're really good. They don't make mistakes," and we'll find all the evidence to support that. And then when we think that we're an imposter, we'll find all the evidence that supports that as well. So it can work both ways, and it can be not very helpful if you aren't aware of it.

[~30:00] Recognizing Your Competence and Sharing the Episode

So that's what I want you to start thinking about. Start keeping a list of all the ways that you are competent, and I wanted to wrap all this together. I think there's still a lot of good juicy stuff in this [00:31:00] episode for neurotypicals as well. But as always, if you found this episode helpful, I would love it if you could share it with a vet med bestie.

That helps other veterinary professionals to recognize and listen to this podcast. And if you can follow, and give a five-star review, Apple, Spotify, wherever you listen to this podcast, that is greatly appreciated as well. All right, guys, I'll see you on the next episode.