Stop the Burnout Podcast
Episode 85:
Time to Find a New Clinic? 3 Questions to Ask Before You See If the Grass Is Greener
Listen HERE
Maybe you’ve been at your clinic for a while, but after an exceptionally shitty shift, you’re scrolling job listings the second you get home, thinking, “Surely not every clinic is like this.”
Then comes the thought that keeps you stuck right where you are: “What if the next clinic is the same… or even worse?”
Before you scroll through one more job posting, listen to this episode. I’m sharing 3 questions you absolutely need to ask yourself to figure out if it’s time to move on.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
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[~03:00] Why the thought “What if the next clinic is worse?” can keep you in a job you’ve been thinking about leaving.
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[~05:00] How to spot the extra work you’ve quietly taken on and see how it’s affecting the rest of your shift.
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[~07:00] How to get past “I’m just exhausted” and pinpoint what’s wearing you down, like the five callbacks you still have to make after closing.
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[~10:00] How to turn a frustration into something that may be the exact reason you want to STAY in your current job
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[~17:00] How to tell whether your clinic is willing to change
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[~19:00] How to figure out whether you truly want to stay
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[~23:00] How getting clear on what you need can help you avoid landing in a new clinic with the same problems.
Key Takeaways
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[~03:00] Familiar chaos can feel easier to face than the uncertainty of a new job.
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[~07:00] Notice what you keep working around to get through a shift.
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[~13:00] How you approach leadership can make a huge difference in whether change happens or not
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[~22:00] You can get the change you asked for and still want to leave.
A Truth You Need to Hear
“Your job doesn’t have to get worse before you’re allowed to want better.”
Links mentioned:
Follow & find me:
www.thestressandburnoutcoach.com
🔗 Download Your FREE Burnout Survival Guide HERE
S2 Episode 85 Transcript:
Time to Find a New Clinic? 3 Questions to Ask Before You See If the Grass Is Greener
[00:00] Is It Time to Find a New Clinic?
[00:00:00] Tell me if this sounds familiar. One day you're thinking, "I have got to get out of this job." And then a couple days later you're thinking, "Well, this clinic, it's not really that bad." And then a couple days later, you have another awful day and you can't get to the job listings fast enough. You're even scrolling them in the parking lot.
So today I wanna walk you through three simple things you can do to start to determine if the job you're currently in is worth, quote-unquote, staying, or should you finally make that leap and start looking elsewhere? All right, guys, let's get into it Welcome to Stop the Burnout, a podcast for veterinary professionals who love medicine but are exhausted by the people pressure, expectations, and the constant mental load that comes with it. If you've ever thought, "I shouldn't feel this drained doing something I care about," you're not alone, and you're definitely not broken.
I'm Dr. Amber Parks, a veterinarian turned stress and burnout coach, and here we talk about the stuff that [00:01:00] no one taught us, like how to actually break the stress and burnout patterns once and for all, and how to stay in this profession without losing yourself. You won't find bubble bath, toxic positivity, or self-care fluff pretending to be the solution here.
Let's get into it.
[~01:00] A Client’s Decision to Change Jobs
All right. Welcome back to another episode of Stop the Burnout. Today's episode is brought to you by a dear coaching client of mine. She's a veterinarian, and she just sent me a message not that long ago. In fact, there are so many things I wanna talk about on this podcast, and I was sitting down.
My brain, true ADHD fashion, was all over the place in a bunch of different directions, and then I got this message from her telling me that she made a decision to leave the practice she's at, and she took another job, in a neighboring town. And I'm like, "Oh, thank you, universe. All right, we're gonna talk about this."
It was so sweet for her to reach out and tell me. [00:02:00] So What was really interesting, and I won't go into a lot of specifics just to keep her anonymous, but... And I see this with so many, I experience this so much, and this is the idea that we're not really happy where we're at, but there's nothing hugely, horribly awful that is happening enough that it makes sense for us, at least logically, to leave our job.
So that's what I want to share with you today. How do you determine if, well, geez, the job I'm in, it's not awful, but it's also not great either? So it's a process number one. Some people make this decision a lot quicker. Some people, it takes a good deal of time. But I would start to really look at this from a bigger perspective.
[~03:00] Why Familiar Chaos Can Keep You Stuck
In other words, it is very hard when every day [00:03:00] seems like it sucks, and it's awful when you're going to work, and then you're exhausted, you're getting home, and all we remember is all the awful negative things that happened. And then you think about going to get another job, and then you start looking, and you're like at least I know this kind of awful.
I know this kind of craziness. I don't know if in another job, what if it is actually worse?" And I've talked about this a lot, but this can keep us very stuck. The neuroscience behind it is that fa-famili- oh my gosh, sorry, I can't speak. Familiarity. That didn't even sound right either, but you know what I'm talking about.
Fa-familiarity. Okay, not gonna even attempt that again. That word is something that it can keep us stuck because even if something is not helpful or healthy, being familiar makes it easier for us to predict, and it takes less [00:04:00] energy to determine or make any decisions. So not really the best analogy, but if you've ever been in, maybe not the greatest relationship, whether that-- I'm kind of speaking towards,, a romantic relationship, but it really can be any type of relationship.
And you know it's not really great, and you know you should not be in this relationship, but it is really hard sometimes to leave. And I'm not even talking about the emotional manipulation and gaslighting, all that other that probably leads into this as well. To make a decision to leave can be really challenging because a lot of times we're in survival mode. So our ability to make decisions, to logically think, to look at all these options is really hard because our daily just getting through the day is what is expending all of our energy, and it takes a lot of energy to do that.
So it makes sense that this is [00:05:00] familiar, this is the same thing, I'm just gonna stay here because, yeah, it's like known craziness versus the unknown craziness. Well, I don't know how crazy could be, at least I know what it is here and that's what happens to a lot of us. So how do we do this? All right.
[~05:00] Question One: What Are You Working Around Every Day?
Number one is I want you to think about what are you working around every day that is zapping your energy? So this coaching client that I was talking about, she, when she came to me, she was experiencing many things that a lot of us experience. And when we started to, really pull it apart and break it down, she was very much over-functioning, doing things that were outside of her job description.
And side note, if you've never heard my podcast before, I'm not talking about dump everything on the technicians. No. I'm talking about how can we make a workflow that's really sustainable to the doctor and the support team while [00:06:00] totally utilizing our support team for the things that they're really good at, and that doesn't always mean just holding a pet.
Okay? So she was over-functioning, so it was really spreading her thin. And so not only is she exhausted, then she's frustrated, then she gets home, and she has a stack of records she still has to do. I say stack. I don't think they were stacked because I'm pretty sure they use paperless, but metaphorically.
So our biggest work together was really, okay, what are you doing, to the point of, everyday things, and w- in so nicely, I'm like, "Well, why are you doing that?" "Well, it won't get done." "Okay." So we really dug into the things her brain was telling her, the scenarios and the situations that made her really think that she did have no other options and she had to do all this stuff.
[~07:00] Getting Specific About What Drains You
So I ask you, what are you quietly working around [00:07:00] every single day? So for many of you, I hear you say, "Well, I'm exhausted." Listen, girl, same, okay? I get it. But let's take it a step further. Why are you exhausted? Like, specifically. Ask yourself that. Is it because I worked all day, I did all the things, I kept up with my appointments, and then at the end of the day, I had to do five callbacks and we already closed, and I'm just exhausted, and now I have to stay here after hours every night."
Okay, that would be one. Or maybe that same scenario, and you're thinking, "Well, I miss dinner with my family every night because I'm doing this, and that makes me feel like I'm disconnected. I'm not spending time with my loved ones." You know, you kinda see where I'm going with this. Find the thing that you feel like you experience every day, whether that's exhaustion, frustration, resentment, anger, [00:08:00] whatever it is, and then just ask yourself one step further, "Why is that?"
So why is that happening? Because kudos to you for recognizing that you feel a certain way. The challenge is when we don't have, or we don't go another layer deeper and find out why that is. Because, again, I can keep saying I'm exhausted all day, but if I don't find the very specific things that are happening throughout the day...
And side note, it might be many different things, but if we don't figure out what those things are, we cannot solve them. You will con- continue to be miserable, and you will continue to look at going to work with dread and resentment and feeling like you're stuck in this slog every day. So sometimes, I will be honest with you, sometimes [00:09:00] asking ourselves this feels really vulnerable in the sense that we feel- why am I making this a big thing?
Why am I telling myself that I am exhausted? I have five callbacks. It's not a big deal. I should just suck it up. And we already start rationalizing ourselves into why we shouldn't feel that way. So throw that out the window 'cause that's not helpful. I just want you to identify truly the thing or things.
Start with just one, right? I'm sure it's more than just one, but start with one that make every day really challenging, and you can write this out if you want, or think about it on your ride home. Really ask yourself, okay? Number two, I want you to ask yourself, "Okay What happens when I ask for this to change or for something specific to change that would make my job, [00:10:00] my work a lot easier?
[~10:00] Question Two: What Happens When You Ask for a Change?
Okay, so this is going to definitely look different for everyone. So what I mean by this is if there was one concrete thing that could change tomorrow at your work and there was follow through "Hey, I need this thing," management, colleague, whomever does it for you, and voila, w-wave a magic wand, that thing that was stressing you out and you wanted n- is now came to fruition.
So maybe you said, "I can see walk-ins no problem. That doesn't affect me, but it's these drop-offs that get put all over the schedule that I have a really hard time managing my time because now I have pets that are in the hospital that I have to look at, and I don't have any time scheduled for that." And maybe management, your boss, whomever said, "Oh, okay.
Would [00:11:00] it help if we had appointment slots? And instead of just putting the scheduled drop-offs to the side, we'll put them in an actual scheduled drop-off slot." "Yeah, that would be great." Okay, great. So that's what I want you to think. Maybe that is not your scenario. Maybe that's not what you're asking for.
Maybe it's like, "Hey, I keep asking for more staff, and they keep saying they're gonna hire, and then nothing happens." So ask yourself... you can go back to question one too. What are you working around every day that is making you exhausted? So if it is, "Oh, I have to do at least five callbacks after close," and the thing that would really make that work is if we had a 30-minute slot somewhere during the day, maybe it's two 15 minutes, whatever that looks like, if we had a slot like that during the day that I could have a little breathing room to try and get some of those calls done.
So that's what I want you to [00:12:00] think. It has to be a concrete thing. So it can't be, "Well, I don't wanna work with so-and-so 'cause she's a bitch." Okay. Why is she a bitch? Is she rude to you specifically? Does she make your job and your life harder on purpose? Those are the things. We're not hoping for others to change.
We're looking at concrete things that would make your daily life at your job easier. And maybe it's something with the schedule. Maybe it's, "Hey, I have no problem working a Saturday, but I don't wanna work two Saturdays in a row. So every other Saturday would work better for me." Okay. So that's where we wanna get really granular on what will it take that you would have a little more pep in your step when you skip on into work, right?
[~12:00] How to Approach Leadership
You're not thinking how much dread you have. You're thinking, "Okay, these people listen. They made changes. I'm really happy about that." And with that, I will say there are ways to [00:13:00] deliver this information. In other words, to, and I've talked about this before, but to see your manager in passing running down the hallway of pharmacy while you're both running around like crazy people, your schedule is slammed, and you're like, "Hey, I don't wanna do this.
This is a Saturday. I don't wanna do this two weeks in a row. I need every other Saturday." Okay. That probably wouldn't have been my top way to approach that conversation because we're saying all the things we can't do, which is fine, but we're also, it, the context of that and the environment of that matters.
So many times I hear from people and they'll say, "Well, this isn't possible and this isn't possible at my work." And then the more I ask about how they asked for these scenarios or changes, it really wasn't the best approach. And it sounds crazy, but that [00:14:00] really does make a difference. It's almost like maybe if you were a kid, if you had a mom and a dad, and you asked your dad something, and he's like, "Absolutely not."
And you're like, "Cool. I'm gonna go ask mom because I know she's gonna let me." It's the same thing. It's just setting up the scenario because you're thinking, "Okay, I know that this isn't gonna go well, so let me just ... You know what? Next time I'm just gonna ask mom and I'm not gonna ask dad." It's the same type of thing.
We have to look at the situation and the scenario and set it up for the best possible situation and outcome. And I say that because maybe you're listening and you're thinking, "Yeah, I already asked for these things and it didn't happen." Or they keep saying it is gonna happen and then nothing happens at all.
[~14:00] Send Your Specific Coaching Questions
So side note, if that is you, I'm trying something a little bit different. I've mentioned it on the last few episodes, but if you have [00:15:00] a very specific, I would say the more specific the better, coaching question that you have, I would love to potentially answer it on an upcoming podcast episode. So for example, if you're thinking yes, I do want what you're mentioning, but it is really hard."
And maybe you're thinking, "Well, I'm the only person that Has to see this particular client at my job, and no one else will see it, and I have to see it, and I really don't like them, and they're rude, and my boss says I have to see them. What do I do? That's a more specific scenario. Or my boss says, "Nope, you have to work three Saturdays a month," and that was never agreed upon, and now I ask to work two Saturdays a month and they told me no, or I can start looking for another job.
Or something like that, right? That's very specific. Those are the questions that I want. Anything... And think of it this way, anything that you go to work that you [00:16:00] dread, you're resentful for, you're stressed, you're overwhelmed, you're exhausted, I wanna hear those questions because like I said, I'm trying something out.
I want to potentially answer those questions on an upcoming podcast. I will absolutely keep you anonymous, so people, places, things, just keep as vague as possible. I will not use your name. I will also make sure, obviously, I'm reading these ahead of time. If it does seem like it's uber specific, I'll make sure it's a little more vague.
But I want to answer these questions because I think it's one thing to listen to this podcast and get a lot of good, juicy information, but it's quite another to then go to work tomorrow and put it into action, and that is what can be really challenging. I love you all so much that are listening, but I know especially you listening, you are probably like many of us, we love to get information, but then to take that information, turn around, and create something out of it can be really challenging and can feel so overwhelming.
[~17:00] Looking for Follow-Through
I will say, it doesn't have to be challenging, it just feels like it's overwhelming, so I wanna [00:17:00] help bridge that gap for you. Okay, back to what I was saying. Okay, so yes, what can you ask for that is a concrete thing? And what we wanna see here is what is a follow-through? What is a follow-through for your work?
What is a follow-through for your job? Do they not even entertain having a discussion about it? Or did they say, "Yes, we're gonna do all these things," and then nothing happened, or they said, "All right, tell me more," and then they started to make changes? Those are the things because- Many times I hear from employers too, that-- actually, I have another coaching client, she was telling me this, not that long ago.
She said, "I was in a job, and I was really overwhelmed, and I was at my wit's ends. I was already looking for another job, and I basically went to management and said, 'i can't do this. We're not getting lunches. We're going ten, 11 hours straight without breaks.' 'I, I can't do this.'" So this was a, a newer doctor.
So [00:18:00] they were like, "Okay. Oh, we didn't know." "So, so sorry." And she said literally that was the conversation on a Friday, and Monday, it changed. So, it is possible, and that's the thing. A lot of times our brain gets in the way. We tell ourselves certain things, or we tell ourselves, "Oh, that's not possible."
But it might be possible. It just feels really uncomfortable, so we need to discern those two. But what we wanna know here in the second question is, are they willing to make changes for me? Are they willing to make changes because they see my value, and they want this to be a place that I enjoy going to work?
[~18:00] Question Three: If Things Changed, Would You Want to Stay?
And which obviously on the business side is only going to make the business better. So clients are happy. You're happy. It's a win-win. Okay, number three question. Okay, think about this one. If the second question I just asked you, so I said, what happens when you ask for something to change? Does it [00:19:00] happen?
Does it change, or does it not? But if it did happen, so you ask for a change in your schedule, they did make the change, would you still want to stay? And I think this is a very interesting question because a lot of times you can put so much weight into when this happens, when this other thing changes.
And what we can do subconsciously is we're really outsourcing our power. So we think geez, that's not gonna happen," or, "It feels really uncomfortable to ask for this," and it doesn't happen. And then we can basically gaslight ourselves into saying, "Well, see? It's never gonna change, and it's out of my power.
It is what it is." Because if it did change, then we're faced with, "All right, things changed. You got what you wanted. Now what?" And sometimes we can then realize that there are other [00:20:00] things that either we're not happy with or, no, this thing changed. I liked it, or I like it, it's going well, but I'm still not happy.
[~20:00] When Work Is Covering Up Other Stressors
Then we have to look at why is that. Is there other things going on in maybe our personal life that is making us feel that way? I had another coaching client, and we had a session. We dug in deep, and that's essentially what came out. She shared, "I think that I'm just over-functioning and overworking so much," because coming home and having a conversation about certain things in her marriage were uncomfortable.
And so she's like, "I didn't really put those two things together, but now that I'm saying it out loud, yeah, there's so much time and energy put towards work that if that isn't a huge, quote, unquote, 'problem,' what else do I have to face?" [00:21:00] So that is important for you to know. Because if you're jumping jobs, you go to another job, you will recreate.
And I know if you've listened to my podcast, you've heard me say this before, but you will recreate these other layers of chaos regardless of what's going on. And I know that sounds really crazy, but it's true. And for that particular person, I c- she hadn't changed jobs, but I could see that also happening because she's really wanting to run away from the things in her marriage that she knows has to be addressed and has to be talked about So that is really important because there's, again, there's nothing more disempowering to say, "Well, this isn't in my hands anymore."
And then we make all these changes, and then we say, "Oh, shit, I got what I wanted. Now I got these other things that actually are the bigger challenges in my life and are bigger stressors, and now I have to do something about it." And [00:22:00] it may not even be work, okay? It could be both, obviously, but for sure. So all of this to say, especially with this last question here, I want you to realize that some people will say no.
[~22:00] Deciding What You Actually Want
If this changed, I would love everything else. I like my coworkers. I like my work every day. Great. Or some people might say, "No, you know what? I still wanna see what's out there because there's other things I've... You know, I took this job maybe too quickly. I just wanted to get a job. I was moving to the area, and now I really do wanna see what else is out there."
Okay. Then you know. So this is corny, knowledge is power. Knowing this information is empowering so that you know what we're going after 'cause there's nothing worse than chasing some fucking idea of what you want work to be, and then you get it, [00:23:00] and realize that was great, but that doesn't feel good either.
[~23:00] Avoiding the Same Cycle at a New Clinic
So you'll constantly be stuck in these cycles of looking for a job, getting excited, getting hired, going to the job. It's great. And then, I don't know, a month or two into it, you're thinking, "Yep, this looks exactly like the last one did, and this is awful, and it's toxic, and then I wanna leave again." And we just repeat the same cycle, which is exhausting.
I don't know about you, but to have a first day at work, like I don't really ever wanna do that multiple times over. For me personally, it's very physically taxing and mentally taxing, and it can be exciting. But there's nothing worse than when you put all this weight and put all your eggs in one basket for this new job, and then it ends up being the same as the one you left.
[~23:00] Finding One Change That Would Make Work Easier
So we need to get clear on how we feel about a certain scenario, and if we get what we want, how will we feel about that [00:24:00] as well? So I hope this gave you some more insight, things that you can ask yourself, because it might be very eye-opening. And if you're listening to this when you're driving, perfect.
You can just think about this. You can put me on pause, come back to the episode, but think about what will make your life easier, and not from a fantasy standpoint like, "Oh, I wanna stay home, play with my dogs all day, go to the spa, and then I win the lottery." You know? That could happen, and I hope that does for you.
I'm talking going to work and what would make me have a little more pep in my step and not dread it. Yes, there's ebbs and flows. There's waxing and waning. That, that's everything. We won't ever just get to a point and then be, "Okay, we're good." There are shifts and changes, but is there something or some [00:25:00] things that can change that would drastically improve your quality of life at work?
And that is what we really have to dig into and find out. So if you're thinking I don't know what that thing is, Amber. I'm listening to all your questions," I would think just when your last shift or last few shifts, was there a situation that really stressed you out, pissed you off, made you really resentful, or you even thought about when you got home from work, or you thought about it again before walking into work the next shift?
[~25:00] Submit Your Question and Share the Podcast
Those are the things we really want to dig into. So I hope this was helpful. Again, if you are interested, please send me a DM on Instagram. Send me your question. I don't know if I said that earlier, but I know I mentioned about sending me a question, but follow me on Instagram. It's @dr.amberparks.
Send me a [00:26:00] DM. Tell me, "Hey, Amber, I listened to your episode. I know that you're taking questions to be submitted. Here's my question." Send it to me, and I will not use your name or any specific details, and I may answer that on an upcoming podcast episode. If you have questions before you ask me, send me a DM as well.
Make sure you follow me on Instagram because if you don't, your question might go into the request folder, and I might miss it. Last but not least, thank you for being here. Thank you for listening, and I would so, so appreciate it if you can hit follow, give a five-star rating, and please share this episode with your vet med bestie.
Also, following and reviewing the podcast helps other veterinary professionals to find this podcast and share the love, so to speak. All right, guys, I thank you so much, and I will see you on the next episode.
