Stop the Burnout Podcast

Epi 56:

What I Say & Do to Have Confident Client Conversations Without Feeling Drained or Second-Guessing Yourself (Lessons From My Own Cases) People-Pleasing)

Client interactions can make or break your entire day in veterinary medicine, yet no one really teaches you how to navigate them without feeling drained, uncomfortable, or stuck replaying conversations for hours or even days after work. If client communication in vet med feels exhausting or overwhelming, you’re not alone.

In this episode, we go beyond generic advice and break down what’s actually happening in those moments, both externally and inside your brain during stressful client interactions.

You’ll learn how to communicate clearly without overexplaining, handle upset clients without spiraling or taking it personally, and approach conversations in a way that feels more confident and less emotionally draining.

This is not your typical “be respectful” or “hear them out” veterinary communication CE advice. This is a practical, real-world approach to making client communication in veterinary medicine feel easier, more effective, and far less exhausting.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

[00:00:00] Why client communication is one of the biggest hidden stressors in vet med
[00:03:00] How people-pleasing and overthinking are quietly draining your energy
[00:05:00] What’s happening in your brain during stressful client interactions
[00:08:00] Why clients don’t understand as much as you think and how that creates stress
[00:10:00] The overexplaining habit that’s making conversations more exhausting
[00:14:00] How client emotions impact you and why you take it personally
[00:16:00] The mindset shift that reduces stress in difficult conversations
[00:32:00] How to prevent stressful interactions before they happen
[00:42:00] What to do when a client is upset without spiraling
[00:48:00] How to stop replaying conversations and actually mentally clock out

Key Takeaways

Client communication isn’t just about what you say; it’s about how your brain interprets the interaction
Overexplaining and people-pleasing often make communication less clear, not more effective
You are responsible for your communication (not the client’s emotional reaction)
Setting expectations up front prevents most misunderstandings later
You don’t need to fix a client’s emotions, but you need to lead the conversation
Overthinking after interactions is your brain trying to protect you, not proof you did something wrong
Client communication isn’t just about what you say; it’s about how your brain interprets the interaction
Overexplaining and people-pleasing often make communication less clear, not more effective
You are responsible for your communication (not the client’s emotional reaction)
Setting expectations up front prevents most misunderstandings later
You don’t need to fix a client’s emotions, but you need to lead the conversation
Overthinking after interactions is your brain trying to protect you, not proof you did something wrong

A Truth You Need to Hear:

“You can communicate clearly, do everything right, and still have an upset client. That does not mean you did anything wrong or you’re incompetent.”

Links mentioned:

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S2 Epi 56 Transcript:

What I Say & Do to Have Confident Client Conversations Without Feeling Drained or Second-Guessing Yourself (Lessons From My Own Cases)

[00:00:00] (Client communication stress + overthinking after work)
If dealing with clients and having client communication is the bane of your existence in veterinary medicine, and you hate the fact that you have maybe a weird interaction with a client and you feel bad, and then you go home and continually replay it over and over in your head again, you're gonna wanna listen to this episode because we're not gonna talk about just the nice pretty, oh, be respectful and keep your voice down type of stuff.

In terms of client communication. We're getting into how to actually make this so it doesn't suck the life out of your day, as well as how to have these conversations and stop feeling guilty or bad after every client interaction. Alright guys, let's get into it.

[00:01:00] (Why most client communication advice falls short + introducing real-life stories)

Welcome back to another episode of Stop the Burnout. We're gonna be talking about client communication today, how we can make that easier for ourselves, including making it not feel uncomfortable for us, get our point of across, and also how to stop overthinking and spiraling after a client interaction.

So this was prompted. A couple different ways. One was, I asked a post on, or excuse me, Instagram story, and I had four different options and people picked client communication. I also was not too long ago at a conference and there was a really good speaker and they were talking about more like the client communication piece.

And it was a great lecture. It missed a little bit on how the fuck do we do this, right? Like the whole concept and why we do it and was all there and it was very relevant and very helpful. But I left kind of feeling like, okay, that was really good, but like how do we do it? And I thought that if I felt that way, then there were probably others that would have felt that way too.

So what will make this even more fun is that yours truly is going to share my shit, show stories of client interaction. And by shit show, I mean like me, myself, where I did not do a great job, how it had, like an effect on obviously the communication, what I learned and what I won't do again.

So you can just bask in my train wreck. Cases and myself as a doctor and learn from it. So I thought that would make it a little more fun. Okay. First and foremost, when I talk to people about client communication, I, two things. One is that I get a little annoyed because a lot of the stuff that is out there is be respectful.

Don't yell. No fucking shit, right? But. What I think is that many of us that experience these client interactions, honestly, almost all of my clients that I work with, excuse me, my coaching clients, they're not the type to be like, go fuck yourself. They're and myself included, are more of the type of oh my God, I fucked up.

This is bad. They're gonna take me to the boards that my bosses, my boss hates me. I'm a fucking idiot. Like I better just start kissing ass. And that's what I did for a long time. And yeah, so all the stuff that's out there of be respectful, this and that's great that we're already doing that.

It's, we then go to like a different level of, honestly, people pleasing and ass kissing. And so we feel worse about it. People are still mean to us. And then over time, if that keeps happening, there's a lot of resentment that happens. So I'm not a huge fan of that type of advice because there is no context around it.

And yeah. Are there people that are rude? Yeah, they're in vet Med and they're not in vet med, but I can't say that is like a vast majority of us because we're, most of us are in that professional thing, that professional situation, trying to be professional and we're like, how the hell do I handle this without feeling like a doormat, but also continuing to be professional?

So we're gonna talk about that. But the other piece that I was saying was that. A lot of the client communication is not just like the actual communication, it's how do we feel in the moment when we're presented with like a challenging situation.

[00:05:00] (The real problem: how your brain interprets client interactions)

Because if you've listened to any of my other episodes, we talk about, prefrontal cortex. And your, that's the area of your brain that's responsible for emotional regulation and logical thinking and short term memory organization. And so when we're emotional, and by emotional I don't mean oh my God, I'm gonna cry.

We just like panic. Like that fight or flight. The amygdala part of our brain that is really good at detecting threats that becomes overactive and the prefrontal cortex becomes less active, which is not super helpful because that's the part of our brain that we need to have this conversation.

So yes, I do think a lot of it is more on how we interpret the interaction versus is this really a bad interaction? Because I've seen people have conversations with clients that I was like, I would rather cut off my toe than have that conversation and. We used to doctor a manager and they come out yep, such and such, yeah, we, whatever. It's good moving on. And I'm like, what?

I would've been overthinking that for the rest of the day, if not for a couple days, and spiraling about that. So you can see how it's not necessarily the situation itself, it's more related to our experience.

[00:08:00] (Why clients don’t understand as much as you think + simplifying communication)
We have to look at when we're talking about client communication, and you can be a veterinarian, a sports staff, management, it doesn't matter. I think all of this definitely applies, but we also, we assume that people might understand more than they do, and I think that.

Do we know how much people understand in a given situation? No, not necessarily. And they may not tell us. That's the other thing. So we don't have to assume everyone's stupid. But I don't even say but if you think of it through the lens of talk to them like they're a middle schooler, and I don't mean talk to them like they're stupid.

Just break it down simple so that maybe if they do understand. They hear it in such a simple way that they're like, oh, that's exa. Okay. Yeah. So we're, we know, I know that what they're telling me is exactly what I thought. And honestly, side note, for anyone that is a client that maybe gets like offended that you broke it down, simple like that's on them.

You can't predict anyone else's, knowledge and their experience, right? And sometimes I've had people like, oh, you can tell me blah, blah, blah because I am, in sort whatever profession. And I'm like, okay, great. And honestly, I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I'm passive aggressive.

And depending on what profession that was, I might really start using my big words and then I can tell, I'm like, yeah, you don't know what I'm talking about. Okay, we're gonna take it down notch. You don't have to do that. And the people that I do that with are the ones that are rude when they say it.

So bad. Don't do that. Okay. All right. We assume that they understand more than they do. A lot of times we're in a really challenging environment. Many times we're rushed, we're trying to portray a lot of information in a short period of time, and some of that information on top of that is extremely important and.

It's a lot for someone that like is on their game, let alone someone that maybe doesn't understand that clearly and has never dealt with something like this. So we, there's a lot of factors here.

[00:10:00] (Overexplaining when uncomfortable + trying to gain approval)
The other thing I think I talked about in our last episode was that we tend to over, I say we, this is me. Okay. I'm, you might do it too, but I definitely have done this. I tended. Tended, if that's a real word to Overexplain, when I felt uncomfortable because somewhere I didn't know in the moment when I was doing that, but somewhere I thought, oh, if I overexplain then they'll understand. Then they'll be happier with me, and then I will feel like I did my job right.

And that is not always the case. And we're gonna talk about that as well.

[00:11:00] (Fear of being too direct + trying to please everyone)
And I another thing I've been seeing a lot more of is people that are veterinary professionals that avoid being direct because they have been told, or they feel like they ha or Yeah, they've been told that they're being too direct.

And it's you know what, okay, is there ways to do certain things? Sure. But here's the thing is if you do it the same way every time. Statistically, someone's going to not like it, right? Either you weren't direct enough or you were too direct. I say that because unless it's a common theme, if someone says, I don't know.

Say you saw a hundred patients and two said you were too direct, I would say that's fucking normal because. People get confused with being direct or they might say, oh, they were rude, or They were short, or they were, and yes, there's a way to deliver things, but honestly guys like I feel is 2026.

Everyone has trauma, right? And we can't know someone's life story when they come in with their pet, especially for a first visit. We're just trying to relay that information because what ultimately happens is that it can be very exhausting to.

Try and articulate. And I know I've done this on a subconscious level, but I'm trying to articulate and read their micro expressions, their body language, and then in, in the moment, like change how I'm saying things or what I'm saying to make them happy.

I don't think that's right either, necessarily. Is it a gift? Yeah, it could be, but it's also very exhausting because we do it without thinking. And it takes a lot of mental gymnastics to do that from appointment to appointment, client to client. 'cause everyone's different.

[00:14:00] (You can’t get it right every time + client interpretation vs truth)
And what's interesting is that neurodivergent people tend to. Maybe more on the autistic spectrum tend to do really well with direct contact, whereas maybe neurotypical people don't. But I say that because it's not a reflection of you as a person, like you're a bad doctor, you're a bad technician if you are more too direct.

Every time that I've ever heard that not necessarily with myself, but with people in general, I'm like. What was a piece of information that you told them and it's some huge piece of information that truthfully, I don't think the pet owner was ready to hear whether it was direct or not.

It's like deflecting, right? Like I didn't like that piece of information. I don't like the way they said it, and it's oh, for fuck's sake. Okay.

I experienced the opposite. I have a professional not in Vet Med that I'm working with right now, and she, I'm her client and she is talking to me about I'm, there's a reason that I'm not giving a lot of details. But anyway, I will share this hopefully in the upcoming episodes, but.

She was like giving me bad news and trying to like not, I'm like, dude, just rip the bandaid off. But I realized like it was the other extreme, right? Like she was being too nice about it or too and and I'm like, dude, just fucking tell me.

So I, so it goes to show you like, there's so hard, right? You're never gonna get it a hundred percent right a hundred percent of the time. But also recognize that someone's response or reaction to you.

Is their interpretation of what you said. Unless you're being like, Hey Mrs. Smith, you fucking idiot. You shouldn't have given your dog grapes. It's in renal failure. Okay, that's pretty direct. Maybe it wasn't super appropriate, but you can see, there's a lot of nuance to this.

[00:15:00] (Client emotions vs logic + not making it about you)
The other thing we have to remember is that when, just like us when clients are emotional and by emotional. That could be anything. I've seen owners cry over vaccines being given. I've seen them be stoic about euthanasia, right? And anything in between.

So it really just depends. But when their emotions are high, their logic is low as well. So they might say things that they didn't mean, and I'm not saying that.

To say, oh, we'll just let it slide. That if they're disrespectful, but we make it mean so much about ourselves and have it ruin our day. That I like to just get really curious oh, that was crazy that happened. Why was that? Like I just start digging a little bit deeper again, not to give them like, oh yeah, you can be rude to me, but more of oh, that was really interesting.

Maybe this isn't about me, 'cause it, it does, it makes you feel better. And honestly, a lot of times it is the case. It's not about you.

They get called out on it like, Hey, we won't tolerate that disrespect, you can't talk to my staff like that. And then, next time they call up and they're like, I am so sorry, like I was having a really bad day. Okay, great. Don't do it again. But like you recognize that there were other factors here, right?

[00:17:00] (Your responsibility vs client reaction + communication is not the same as outcome)
And even though whatever you said to that person might have ruined their day, that person might really be thinking about it over and over again for the next.

Few days, weeks, whatever. So if there is a situation that you do feel like, oh, that really sucks it is not a reflection of you a hundred percent right? Your responsibility, if you remember this, your responsibility is for your communication, right? And communicating information and facts and options.

Your responsibility isn't the other person's reaction. Again, assuming you're not like Mrs. Smith, you fucking idiot, you fed your dog grapes. We are looking at what is my responsibility, especially as a veterinarian. I have to give you my thoughts, my recommendations, and a lot of times.

We look at their reaction of okay, that was not great. Now I feel like an idiot, or I feel bad, or whatever. And that's a really crappy place to be. But remember that communication is kind.

[00:18:00] (Reframe: clear communication is kind + letting go of perfectionism)
I was just talking to one of my coaching clients today. We had a session and we were talking about that, like being more communicable. That may not be the way that word was supposed to be used.

'Cause all the thing that came to my mind was communicable disease. That's not what I'm talking about. Communication and speaking with others and sharing well outlined facts and information is kind so it's, we can look at it as like setting boundaries, honestly.

Like here are the boundaries of information, if you will, and sharing that is being kind and helpful. Now, if someone doesn't like the type of information that you shared, it's your job to share it, right?

I'm gonna give you some examples coming up. But just know that because you said something and someone got upset, that doesn't mean what you said was wrong.

[00:19:00] (Story: ACL case + people pleasing + avoiding discomfort)
Okay, now give you some great examples here. This is awful by the way. So I was a couple years outta school and I worked at a really great small animal private practice.

And we had a client and they had a medium breed dog. They had, I'm just trying to keep this somewhat anonymous. They had three of these breeds of dogs and one of them came up lame, like acutely lame it towards ACL, right?

So we get an official, we get an official diagnosis. We did x-rays, positive cranial drawer. And I'm like, okay, so the treatment, I go down the whole road of the treatment is surgery and this and that, and it was a husband and wife and the husband.

I don't think they had any human children. They were probably middle aged. Not that this matters, but just so you get a lay of the land and I'm like, late twenties at this point and maybe, yeah, probably a couple years outta school.

[00:21:00] (Story continued: trying to appease client + avoiding conflict)
And I'm like, surgery is your best approach to healing this dog and return to function, a hundred percent function normal.

And of course, it's like a medium breed dog, right? So it's not 10 pounds and it's not 80. And so it's toe touching, lame. And they were like, we don't wanna do surgery. The whole, all the things that we hear with that, right?

And I'm like, okay, but that's what's gonna fix it, is what I'm thinking in my head.

And they were short, they were a little abrasive. No, granted, this is how I took it, right? Because I'm a couple years outta school. I think I know what I'm talking about. But if you're not so confident, and the more I'm like saying, no, you need to do surgery, or Hey, you're gonna be not happy with not doing surgery, and then we're gonna be in the same boat.

But the more I did that, the more they got upset and were just kinda we're not, they were just, they were rude.

[00:22:00] (Story continued: compromising values to reduce discomfort)
So long story short, I honestly don't remember this whole thing. I probably put a lot of it out of my brain. But they did their research and they came back and they're like, what about these injections?

And it was hydroponic acid. And I'm like, okay. I did a little research. I'm like, okay, it's gonna it's not gonna hurt the joint, but we know it doesn't magically repair a cruciate ligament.

And I was of the thing of like, all right, this won't hurt. You could argue that the longer we don't have surgery, the more arthritis and degenerative joint disease is gonna happen in the joint, whatever.

Okay? So I had talked to my boss at the time and he was like the same thing of it's not gonna hurt and.

I, and I just remember thinking in my head I just wanna get out of this room, and I just want them to be happy.

[00:23:00] (Lesson: confidence + letting go of needing approval)
So we ended up doing, I can't even remember, we did a few injections…

And long story short, the dog was still lame. Imagine that They ended up going to surgery. They did the surgery, and dog was better.

So I share that story because what I would've said nowadays is I'm much more like I can let go of, you can be upset at me.

[00:24:00] (Lesson: clear recommendation + not bending to discomfort)
So I would've said something along the lines of in my experience and my own personal dog who's had this surgery, we know we recommend surgery X, Y, and z.

I can tell you right now that maybe the injections would help make it a little more comfortable, but it's not physically repairing a a ligament and you're more than welcome to do what you want.

But here's the thing. I felt at that time that I was like. That I got, that I had to do this thing that I wasn't comfortable with…

[00:25:00] (Cost of people-pleasing: dread, avoidance, and repeated stress)
And the fucked up thing is these people spent more money than they had to. They could have spent that money maybe on, I don't know. Nowadays probably like PRP, some laser therapy, whatever. So it's just.

It's a interesting one because I'm like, I just think of this and like I, the worst part was that every week or whenever they would come in for these injections, I dreaded having this conversation over and over again because my tech would take the room and then gimme the history.

Oh, Dr. Parks, he's still limp or she's still limping, and I'm like, of course she is. She doesn't have, a sound joint. Okay. So it can be really uncomfortable in the moment, but take it from someone. What is more uncomfortable is having to have that same feeling every fucking week that they came in and I knew the treatment wasn't gonna work.

And there are some people that just have to go through the process and see it for themselves and see that it doesn't work. That I think that there may be a time and place for that. I'm over that shit at this point, and maybe we weren't be a good fit.

[00:27:00] (Boundary setting: it’s okay to say no + leading with confidence)
Hey, if you wanna do these joint injections, I have another doctor here. Why don't you consult with them and see if they're comfortable doing it. But yeah, that going to bed, the worst part is too, like the night before, I know that I'm gonna see that patient the next day and see that client and I'm like stressed and my stomach hurts and I can't sleep like that is not fucking worth it.

So just know that, like an example like that. Yeah. I would've absolutely handled it different. And does it come with experience? Yes, but not even experience of.

With the actual procedure, right? Because I still knew that the surgery was the best thing, but the more experience I had over the years was oh, I'm gonna get someone that wants to do a brace, right? And then I've done seen people come to me, I didn't know that's what they were doing. And then that fails and doesn't do well.

So then I have those like reps under my belt that I can share, but.

And, so then you can share that piece of information. But yeah, sometimes owners will put you in a challenging spot and you'll be like I don't really wanna do this. It is okay to say no. Okay. So that's number one.

[00:28:00] (Lead the room + not being steamrolled by clients)
With another thing of that is and we're gonna talk about like how do we prevent miscommunication and how do we deal with a client that's upset and how do we deal with not overthinking when you go home after the day? Okay. I'm hoping we can get this through.

This episode, it might be two. We'll see. Okay. So that's that's one thing. The other is lead the room, right? You are the veterinary professional. And regardless of what an owner thinks or says, I'm open now to have conversations about it, but.

I have no problem having that conversation, but I'm not gonna let you steamroll me into something I'm not comfortable with, right? Like I did in that situation.

[00:29:00] (Story: ear hematoma case + miscommunication + client expectations)
Another one, and I honestly don't remember the total specifics about this, but this was a dog that had an ear hematoma and it was repaired. I think I repaired it and then months later, the dog.

I think he just was a recurrent ear infection. Came down with another hematoma, or it was a good deal of time after same ear. And I think my boss was actually outta town and the client honestly was a dick. And I saw the dog and then I think there was something along the lines of the owner's you fix this. Why is this back?

We know that ear hematoma, surgical repair. It wasn't like I, I poked it, aspirated it, I did the surgery. It doesn't prevent you a hundred percent from never having an ear hematoma. And I must have not shared that piece of information. I don't remember.

But my poor boss was outta town on vacation and this client always saw him. And of course the client like has his phone number and calls him up and, my poor boss was great, but he was just like.

Trying to help me navigate this whole thing, and I'm like, dude, I don't feel comfortable doing this fucking surgery again because he's obviously not comfortable with me.

[00:30:00] (Lesson: avoiding discomfort leads to bigger problems later)
And long story short, yes, I should have said, Hey, this can happen again. It's very likely that it can happen again, especially if we don't get the underlying cause of the ear infections under control.

But also too within with a thing like that, I remember oh, great. We can solve this problem right now. This guy will be happy 'cause he was a little rude and a little abrasive.

And honestly he was a little misogynistic, so he was challenging to deal with and I just wanted him to be happy and go away.

But it came back and bit me in the ass months later.

[00:31:00] (Ownership vs responsibility: you don’t control outcomes or reactions)
So now, yes, that is part of my repertoire of things that I say we can fix this. This is. You've got several different options. The most ideal way is surgically, especially if we wanna make it look as cosmetic as possible. But this will return if the underlying cause isn't treated and these other things that can also cause it.

But again, I was trying to like suffice someone in the moment because it was so fucking uncomfortable dealing with him being short and rude the first time, let alone the second time. I, what I wish I had known now too, is that I don't need to fix this person's reaction to the information, right?

So this person would've wanted me to tell them the first time that, Hey, I'm gonna do this surgery. It's gonna fix this ear hematoma, and your dog's never gonna have an issue again.

[00:32:00] (Expectation setting: preventing miscommunication before it starts)
What I was avoiding was me saying that, Hey, this is possible for it to come up again. And then them being like, Ugh. You can't fix it like there's no long term solution.

And for some reason owning that, like I am the end all, be all of veterinary medicine, like I created some fucking rules that were going by. This is just b. Biological medicine and how things work or don't work, which I have zero control over and the owner has zero control over.

But it's easy, right? For a client to put it back on you of you should you can't fix this. No, no one can fucking fix this unless you chop it zero off.

So I was avoiding that and. What? Yes. What I wish I would've known now is that I'm not responsible for that type of reaction. I'm delivering information that we know based on either years of practice research, the standard of care, insert whatever in there.

So it would've been a lot more comfortable to deal with that in the moment than have to hope that, oh shit, I hope this dog never gets in your hematoma again. Because guess what? The ones that we hope don't will, let me just tell you Murphy's Law.

[00:33:00] (Framework: how to structure communication to reduce confusion)
Okay, how do we prevent this? Sorry. If you hear my dog in the background, he's passed out and he like falls asleep really easily and fast and he has his tongue half hanging out. He's like a pity English bulldog mix and he's sucking like all I can imagine is he is having dreams of like nursing.

I don't know. It's so weird. So if you hear that noise that's he's in dreamland.

Okay, how do we prevent this? Okay, number one. Now this can, this is more from a lens of a veterinarian, but anyone can you can put this through your lens depending on what your role is in a veterinary hospital.

But I like to go through it of okay, what do we find on an exam? What is my recommendation? What are the possible outcomes, and what do we do next?

[00:34:00] (Example: complexity of cases + why clients get overwhelmed)
Because for someone that is. Like myself or honestly anyone in vet Med. Like when I go to the doctor and I love my doctor, she's great, and there's like a lot of different things that we're talking about and they all, we know how it is, right? It's medicine. They all integrate together and I'm like, wait a minute I'm already confused and this is me.

Someone that has a, I would think a decent medical background. So I can't imagine someone that has no medical background, right? They feel very overwhelmed.

[00:35:00] (Real case: diagnostic process + setting expectations for uncertainty)
So I'm gonna give you another example for how to prevent miscommunication. And this is actually my own pet now. This is like recent as of yesterday.

There is no miscommunication in this. I just think this is a great example. The veterinary hospital that I used to do some really regular relief at, who's amazing, I just love them. And the doctors are fabulous. The staff is amazing.

And I thought, wow, this is a great example of how this could have gone wrong. So my cat is 11-year-old domestic short hair, neutered male. He's got some other things going on, but to be quick, basically he he's a controlled hyperthyroid kitty.

But I noticed he was PUPD. He was drinking and peeing more. And I'm like, oh, okay. Is that the thyroid? Do we have kidney disease now? All the things.

[00:36:00] (Managing expectations: test results may not give answers immediately)
So I did some labs and his calcium came back elevated. I'm like, oh fuck, okay. So I'm like, alright, let's dig a little bit deeper.

And we did a Michigan panel to look at. Parathyroid Hormone. Hormone, parathyroid like hormone, ionized cal, all the things right?

And we did a quick scan of the belly, saw, maybe some mesenteric lymphadenopathy. So lymph nodes are a little enlarged. The spleen looks a little modeled and.

We were only able to get samples of the spleen. 'cause my cat, he's actually a really cool cat and a really awesome cat. But he apparently had the opposite effect on some of the meds and sedation.

[00:37:00] (Setting expectations: outcomes of tests and next steps)
So sent out cytology wasn't definitive for neoplasia, but it didn't rule it out either. So we had to do some more tests and.

The tests that we did got sent out to Colorado State. Flow cytometry.

Cytometry, oh my god. Cytometry and par, PARR. And I just got, we got the test results yesterday and it's most likely not cancer.

[00:38:00] (Key concept: explain possible outcomes BEFORE testing)
And I was like, damn, I know what it's like sometimes I've had clients and we think we're gonna give 'em like this awesome news. Your pet doesn't have cancer and then all of a sudden they're pissed that they did these tests, right?

I could care less. Honestly. I realize it's because of my background and my. I know all the ins and outs and how this works, but for someone that doesn't, I could easily see how they'd be like I thought it was this, and now I spent all this money, and he doesn't even have it.

[00:39:00] (Simple framework: normal vs abnormal results + next steps)
So to summarize, if I had a case that was my cat and I was talking to a client, I would say, okay, your cat's drinking and peeing a lot. We ruled out all the other things. But I do see the calcium is elevated on the labs. I'm concerned for X, Y, and z.

What would I do next? I would do these tests. 1, 2, 3, next. Now this might give us our answer or it might tell us what it is not.

[00:40:00] (Clarity reduces stress: show the path forward)
And then we have to do either one or two more tests. Now, I can't really say prognosis because I don't know fully what we're dealing with, right?

And so best case scenario, we do a couple more tests. Everything's normal. We put on meds for maybe idiopathic hypercalcemia and we manage diet change, whatever or it is cancer.

[00:40:00] (Clarity reduces stress: mapping outcomes + next steps)
And then we have to do either one or two more tests. Now, I can't really say prognosis because I don't know fully what we're dealing with, right?

And so best case scenario, we do a couple more tests. Everything's normal. We put on meds for maybe idiopathic hypercalcemia and we manage diet change, whatever or it is cancer. We have to look at, options that way and maybe oncology consult, et cetera.

Now, I say that because the best thing I fucking learned was to tell people what the options were of potential outcomes of the test and what to do with that.

[00:42:00] (Handling upset clients: facts vs emotions + grounding yourself)
We got two last pieces. I think I can fit in here in this episode, but what do we do when a client is upset?

Okay, so if a client is upset, the first thing I want you to ask yourself, and it doesn't matter if they're really like, if you're like, oh my God, they should be upset. Or if you're like, why the hell are they upset?

Ask yourself, what is what they are saying True? Or is this coming from an emotional place? And it could be both.

For example, like for my cat, if I didn't, if I had a client that had a similar case with their pet and I didn't set them up for, Hey, we are gonna have to do some other tests, and we do one test and it doesn't give us our answer, and now they're like why am I gonna spend any more money?

You couldn't get the answer the first time. Is what they're saying true? No, because I.

We know that one test isn't the definitive for the thing that we're looking at. So literally teasing out is what they're saying true or are they emotional because they don't have an answer. Understandable and they have to pay more money.

[00:44:00] (Reframe: their reaction is not your competence)
Okay. So do you see where is not coming from a true place? Like truly they may feel that way and that is okay, but.

Is what they're saying True? No. Is it coming from an emotional place? Probably. Yeah. That goes with, you're a fucking awful doctor. Okay. Is that true?

Maybe in their eyes. But do I have other things that I have done that support that I'm not an awful doctor.

It's just giving ourselves that essentially that evidence of things. Not being what they say that they are, because it's real easy to fall into the trap of oh my gosh, they're right. I'm awful. I should have known.

[00:45:00] (In-the-moment strategy: pause, regulate, respond with authority)
So if someone's upset whether you're on the phone, you're in person, and this takes practice 'cause it is hard to do.

But one is pause for a second. If they're like, doc. Do you even know what you're doing? 'cause now I have to spend more money to do another test.

It's like the inside of me immediately wants to remedy that situation. I wanna be like, you no. That's, I totally understand that. This is, we start to like overexplain, this is where the overexplaining comes in.

What is so powerful, and again, it takes practice, but pause for a second. Because the pause says two things.

One, you can think about really how and what you're gonna say next. But two, it also lets whatever they just told you, sit.

[00:47:00] (Authority vs people-pleasing + you don’t have to fix everything)
And if it was something fucking rude, it's gonna, the weight of what they said is gonna sit there and not for you, but for them I just called the doctor a fucking idiot like that wasn't that great.

But pause. You think and think about how you wanna say this, and then slowing your speech down, lowering your tone a little bit.

That gives you so much authority, way more than overexplaining, backpedaling, people pleasing, trying to remedy the situation because the person that is emotional and irate and disrespectful immediately loses the upper hand in that conversation like.

Bar none. Even if they're right?

[00:48:00] (Letting go of responsibility for others’ emotions + boundaries)
So again, stick to the facts of the case. Hey, I understand you're upset 'cause I can see that they're upset.

This test, there's no test. That's a hundred percent. This is, like we just give 'em the facts of the case.

Okay. And know that whatever, yes, their emotion is you don't have to fix their emotion and maybe you don't even have to fix a fucking problem that's in front of you, because if they are being disrespectful or they wanna see someone else, great.

Let me. See if Dr. Available, let me get you another doctor.

[00:49:00] (Stopping overthinking: identify fear + walk through reality)
And for the last bit, how do I stop replaying conversations in your head?

Think about this a little bit. Is so in that case, maybe a client's upset with me. I said, no, we gotta do these other tests. And they're like, okay, fine. Whatever. Fine. I'll do the test right now.

How do I stop replaying that over my head when I go home?

Some things you can do are okay. Ask yourself, what is what? Am I really, what's really uncomfortable?

Is it uncomfortable because this client probably thinks I'm a fucking idiot? And that's what I think that they think.

[00:50:00] (Cognitive processing: reality check + writing to stop mental loops)
What if I'm worried because of the potential repercussions? This person's gonna think I'm an idiot. They're gonna tell my boss. Or maybe they're gonna go to the board.

Okay, let's go down that road. If they're gonna go to the board.

Everything that you did a test, you ruled something out, you're making a recommendation. I'm gonna be honest with you. Eight times outta 10, maybe nine times outta 10, the board's gonna look at something like that and be like, this client is just upset the situation, moving on.

Because if it's not below like a standard of care, you'd have to, they would have to prove that you're negligent.

[00:51:00] (Releasing mental load + writing things down)
So if you feel like you're always overthinking and keep replaying those conversations, then write it down.

So writing things down just on paper. Black and white many times can keep our brain from recycling those thoughts because it feels like it has to keep remembering things in order to not have it in terms of make light of the situation and try and figure out an answer.

[00:52:00] (Coaching CTA + application)
All right guys. A lot of stuff in this episode. I hope this helps you.

And if you're listening to this and you're like, oh my gosh, I've experienced stuff like that, or I just, I really need to get a little more clear on, on these keep me up at night and I hate it.

This is actually something. A part of the coaching that I do in my one-on-one private mentorship.

[00:53:00] (Final CTA + closing)
So if that is something you wanna learn more about, you can apply for a complimentary burnout, breakthrough session with me…

Alright, I hope you guys got something juicy outta today, and if you're so inclined, send me a DM on Instagram and tell me if this was helpful for you…

I hope to hear from you, and I will see you on the next episode.