Epi 64:

[00:00:00-00:02:00] Burnout, Student Loans, and the Urge to Escape Veterinary Medicine

You're a burnt-out veterinary professional stuck in a job that feels increasingly unsustainable. Maybe you've thought about leaving. Maybe you've even looked at other careers, but student loans, financial obligations, and real life make walking away feel impossible. So you're stuck in this awful middle ground where leaving doesn't feel realistic, but staying doesn't feel sustainable either.

You've probably wondered how quickly could you pay off those student loans and just finally get out But what if the reason you're desperate for an exit strategy isn't actually because veterinary medicine is the wrong profession? What if your brain and nervous system are simply exhausted and trying to find relief?

That's exactly what we're getting into on today's episode, as well as the solution to this exhausting middle ground. Let's get into it

Welcome to Stop the Burnout, a podcast for veterinary professionals who love medicine but are exhausted by the people pressure, expectations, and the constant mental load that comes with it. If you've ever thought, "I shouldn't feel this drained doing something I care about," you're not alone, and you're definitely not broken.

I'm Dr. Amber Parks, a veterinarian turned stress and burnout coach, and here we talk about the stuff that no one taught us, like how to actually break the stress and burnout patterns once and for all, and how to stay in this profession without losing yourself. You won't find bubble baths, toxic positivity, or self-care fluff pretending to be the solution here.

Let's get into it.

Welcome back to another episode of Stop the Burnout. So I was recently scrolling on social media, as one does, and I came across a post that someone wrote which to be honest, I, I think I know I could have written the same post years ago, and I'm sure some of you probably could have written the same post as well.

And that was, this person was just so burnt out and exhausted, and they were... I think they were a veterinarian. And they're sharing that like, "I just want out. I don't want a different job. I don't want to go to a different clinic. I don't wanna work in government. I don't wanna work in industry. I just want out."

And I totally get that, and I totally get where that's coming from. And I, I wanted to, on today's episode, address what's going on, you know, at, at a deeper level, both from my experience, 'cause that's, that's very similar to what I experienced, and I know many of you do too, but also to what is really going on in our brains and how do we get through that?

How do we get it so that we don't dread getting up and going to work, the next day?

 

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[00:02:00-00:04:00] Looking for a Way Out Versus Looking for a Solution

So if you are someone that, yeah maybe this sounds familiar. Maybe you're like, "Once I pay off these student loans, I'll get a different job, and I will, you know, do something else." Or maybe you are googling careers that pay six figures but don't require more schooling, which I find that is a huge one.

Off topic a little bit, but I truly believe if you're working in vet med, you have a lot of relatable skills that totally refer to other professions and career fields. But we have it ingrained in our brain that you need to go to school, get a certification, or get a degree in this one thing before you can do the thing, and it stops so many of us.

So if you are on that path where you're like, "No, I just, I know I don't wanna be in vet med," okay, first of all, listen to the rest of the episode first, okay? Number one. Number two, you have so many relatable skills that problem-solving, communication, working in a team delegating, like, all these things that, yeah, maybe you don't know...

You can't code, right? Like, you don't know how to do that. But there are a lot of skills that are very transferable to other professions, and I know you guys have heard me talk about this before, but women in general, it's definitely something that we tend to not apply for jobs until we meet at least all of the qualifications or maybe we're even overqualified for a particular role.

Whereas men tend to apply when they are, like, 60% qualified for a role. So go out there and just fucking apply. And, and I know it's hard right now. I know there's, like, a lot of not real jobs out there, like it's a scam thing, which I don't fucking understand, but all I'm saying is you have a lot of transferable skills.

You don't have to go get a fucking master's in something, right? There are... Just think of all the things you do on a, any given day in vet med, and I guarantee you you will be an asset to some, some company. Okay, I digress. Don't let that stop you and let that be your roadblock because then we feel so pigeonholed into one particular field that we don't think we can do anything outside of the profession, and I, I really argue against that.

I think we are so well-rounded for many different reasons that you are very helpful to many different fields. So however, before you make that decision, I wanna share a little bit about my story as well as what's relatable to that post that I saw and then how we can, like, move through that and really decide.

 

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[00:04:00-00:06:00] When Every Day at Work Feels Like Torture

So when we're in that place and we're really stuck and we're frustrated and we're exhausted, every day at work can feel like literal torture, and I, I know what that feels like. Like, I Was like, I'd rather be in a car accident. I'd rather be in the hospital than go to work. Like, literally it was to that point.

And we all, we, you know, we start to think like anything has to be better than dealing with maybe ungrateful owners or maybe management that is clueless or insufficient colleagues, coworkers, staff, maybe understaffed, right? Or they're very green. They come on board, and they don't have any training because the practice didn't train them, and now it's frustrating, right?

And that's, that's not... It's the nature of the beast unfortunately at this point, and so I can totally see where it is absolutely exhausting and frustrating to work in those situations and work in those environments. But let me just put it to you this way. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

So what I mean by that is if we're sitting there just sitting and hoping like, "Oh, management will get a clue, and they'll train the new person," or, "Maybe clients will start to be nicer and then I can not be stressed," right?

All of those things are great in theory, but they're also something that we have zero control over. And do I think that we need to a- as a profession like change and upgrade, the culture systems, you know, and some of the people in the profession? Yeah, I do. But what are you gonna do? You're sitting in the in between right now where you're stuck and you're miserable, or do you try and escape and go to another...

let's just say go to another career field. Now talk to anyone in any other career field. For the most part, they're gonna have some sort of qualms about that field as well, right? Like, they're in it. They're in the minutia of every day, and they see the challenges. So it's not that it looks like the grass is greener, but a lot of times we're just trying to get out of the shithole situation we're in, and that anything looks better than what we're in, right?

It has to be better.

 

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[00:06:00-00:08:00] The Trap of Chasing Relief Instead of Resolution

So I very much felt this way when I was in practice, and I was an associate. And the sad part was like I, I was at a pretty decent hospital. It's not- It wasn't perfect, but it's not nearly as bad as some of the practices that I've done relief work at, and I talk to you people and my coaching clients.

Sometimes I am like, "Holy shit. Okay." So it's not terrible, but my brain was really just looking for an exit strategy. It was looking for relief, which is ironic, right? Because then I went into relief work. But the thing is that realize that your brain's, is not looking for an actual long-term solution. It can appear that way.

"Oh, I'm gonna change careers. I'm gonna do this other thing." And so it looks like, oh, that is a different career field. That's a long-term solution. But we're gonna have our rose-colored glasses on, and we're only gonna see the benefits of that and not the drawbacks. So we have to remember that everything is going to always look better, and we're not looking at it through the lens of, like, what is a very much calculated and constructive Pivot in my career sometimes it's like what is just not this, right?

What is just not vet med? What is just not people?

And I... Some of you probably know my story, but I went into relief work after a year of be- or year a decade of being an associate, and I did enjoy it at first, but I, again, started to come up against the same challenges 'cause I just thought, "Okay, if I can work in a hospital that I enjoy and I don't have to be attached to the drama, then it will be better."

And then I did that, and I'm like, "Wait a minute." Then I'm like, "Well, that person or that management was a shit show, so I'm not going back there." And then I go to another one. It's... So it's not finding the right practice, although, yes, that can be very helpful. It's knowing how to deal with the challenges that we have in front of us while also going after what we want, and that's gonna look different for everyone.

 

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[00:08:00-00:10:00] Why Another Career May Not Solve the Real Problem

So I'll give you an example too. When I was really burnt out, I was also, I was also like, I thought the same thing. I'm like, "What else can I do," right? And I was just, like, daydreaming one day, and I happened to see some-- And I still, these still come across my feed once in a while, but have you ever seen, like, these cake decorators, right?

And they're like, or, like, e- especially at the holidays, they would, like, decorate cookies. And I'm just, like, watching this, and I'm like this looks, like, so much fun. They're, like, decorating. This looks like you're not talking to five different people, 50 people a day. You're just doing your thing. And I'm like, "Oh my God, that looks like fun."

Like, I feel like I would enjoy it. Now, side note for anyone that knows me, I can't cook to save my life. I actually hate cooking and baking. Hate, like capital H. I love eating, but I don't have the patience. It is not a drive of mine to cook. Where on God's green earth did I think that I was gonna be a fucking baker?

I consciously thought about this for a hot second. What?

So that's, like, a perfect example of anything that just isn't the shit show that I'm in right now. Okay, so I'm, I'm gonna become a baker. And you know what? Truthfully, if that's what drives you, go after it 100%, right? But I realized I was going after something just to get away from what I was currently in.

And the funny thing was, for a split second, that felt really exciting. And I'm like, ooh. And I, I do have to say, like, I love sweets, so, like, ooh, that makes sense, right? That's a win-win. But then the first second was, okay, that sounds exciting, and then immediately after that, my thankfully the brain part of my brain, the part of my brain that was a little more level-headed was like, "Hold on."

"You're gonna do cakes, right?" I'm literally having this conversation inside my head, and I'm like, "Yeah." And they're like, "Okay, but imagine this your biggest thing is difficult and challenging, disrespectful clients. You don't think if you fuck up someone's cake they're gonna be pissed?"

 

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[00:10:00-00:12:00] The Baker Analogy and Escaping Discomfort

"I picked this up for my mom's 80th birthday, and this is fucked up, and, uh, the party starts in two hours, and I..."

And it was, like, immediate. I was like, "Oh, fuck no. Nope, I don't wanna be responsible for that." So it was a lot of oh, okay, I don't, I don't want that level of responsibility is also what I thought it was.

So it just goes to show you that we will look at anything to not look at the crap that we're in and the pain that we're in.

So thankfully for myself and anyone out there, I didn't become a baker, okay?

Yeah, I, I think that the idea is always gonna look A lot more beautiful and exciting. Okay?

Another way to look at this is if you've ever been in a relationship that maybe you were the person who was like, "This is, I gotta get out of this. This is not serving me. This isn't going well." Maybe you, like, really care for the person, but you're just like, "This is not my jam."

And then you're like, okay, you're just looking for a way out, right? In no way are you typically, right, you're look, like, "How am I gonna break up with this person? How am I gonna say this? When do I say this? How do I say it to this person?"

That's your focus, right?

Your focus isn't, "Okay, so next time I go into a relationship, I'm gonna ask this question, and I'm gonna just really be focused on me fir-" No.

You're like, "How the fuck do I get out of this shithole?"

So work is very similar. We're just trying to focus on getting out of our current crappy situation.

And same thing for, like, a friendship. Doesn't have to be, a romantic relationship. We're always just trying to look for the out, so we're not really focusing on a solution, but our brain can trick us into thinking, "Oh, yeah, this is the solution," but really, it's just getting out of, you know, not experiencing, not continuing to experience what we're currently experiencing, which is something we don't enjoy.

 

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[00:12:00-00:15:00] Understanding What You're Really Trying to Escape

Okay? Another weird analogy is, like, it's like burning your hand, right? So if you've touched something hot on the stove or something, immediately you're pulling back from the pain, right? You're not thinking, "Hold on. As my hand is sitting here burning, maybe next time I'll use a pot holder, or I, will just be a little more careful."

That's not even crossing your mind. It's get away from the pain, ouch.

And that's exactly what your brain does on a bigger scale, to simplify it. When we are trying to, get out of our Career, job, profession, whatever it is, okay?

So what you're really trying to escape is the discomfort that is there.

So a lot of times for veterinary professionals, whether you're a veterinarian or even, um, you know, support staff member, if you've spent money on schooling, it can feel really uncomfortable to continue to think, "Okay, I'm just now gonna pivot 180 and do something completely different."

It's almost like it- there's part of us, I think, that feels like, "Oh, that's a... There's a fear of failure if I didn't go through with this thing," which I think some of that is, societal conditioning and even our family and friends are like, "You worked so hard for this. Why would you just walk away from it," right?

But also ask yourself, okay, well, if you didn't have those loans, right?

If you didn't have those loans and you could do whatever you wanted, what would still bother you about your job?

Because I talk to a lot of people, and they... The actual job of veterinary medicine and helping pets and solving complex medical cases and doing surgery, even educating clients working with, you know, your coworkers and joking around if that's the type of environment you're in, like, it's not that part that sucks.

There's usually one or two aspects of it.

And so what happens is that we run to avoid one or two aspects and just burn it all to the ground.

 

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[00:15:00-00:18:00] Identifying the Real Source of Stress

The other thing, too, is that it... Again, it's gonna look different for everyone, but things like clients. What is still gonna bother you? Clients, coworkers, maybe being short-staffed.

Maybe it's that fear of making mistakes. Maybe you really enjoy your job. You like the team you work with. Your clients aren't that bad. Management is great, and then you're like, "I just have this overwhelming fear that I'm gonna fuck something up."

So I can almost guarantee you that, going back to my baker analogy, if I w- I had that, too, right? The fear of, of making mistakes, but I know that I'm gonna fuck it up somehow being a baker, so am I just not gonna... You know? Like, it, it doesn't... The common denominator here is that fear. It's not the career.

So when we can get really clear on what that fear is or the thing that is still bothering you, that's a thing we wanna dig in because when we excavate that and bring it to the surface and find ways to work through that stress, then we can really have some, feelings of like, "Okay, this isn't so bad. I can, I can work through this," or, "This doesn't feel as heavy as it did."

Okay? So, so that's a number one is a question to ask yourself. Like, what, what still bothers you? What is bothering you, okay?

And I know for myself, a lot of that was the client aspect, but it was also coming from a place of now that I know, being ADHD and autistic, so the neurodivergence, there was a lot of masking going on.

I felt like I had to perform and have this, like, level of customer service that I... It was fucked up, honestly, 'cause I would, like feel so good about myself when another-- when a client was really happy, right? Which shouldn't be the case.

The best way to do that is you feel really good because you've done really good things regardless of what everyone else thinks, right? And it's hard. That is hard to do, but it is totally doable in, in this profession.

 

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[00:18:00-00:20:00] The Job Isn't Always the Problem

So recognizing that, a lot of times we feel the job is causing our distress, and that isn't always the case. That's an oversimplification.

Often it's really the distress is coming from, you know, maybe repeated experiences, some of those emotional experiences within the job itself.

Because if we remove the job out of it and we still are experiencing this emotional experience just in a different environment fuck, we're still experiencing this emotional thing that we don't enjoy. It doesn't matter where we are.

So a lot of times when we're looking to change careers and professions, we're just looking to find the thing that doesn't expose us a lot to that stressor, and it's never gonna be zero. That's the hard truth about that.

So last week I talked about the habenula, which is a part of the brain that really focuses on, you know, motivation and using it through the lens of what we expect things to be versus what is reality.

And it becomes very focused when tho-- there's a discrepancy between what we thought something was gonna be and the reality.

And so then our habenula, when there's more of a discrepancy, the habenula is more online, and then it becomes more focused on the tracking of, like, what could go wrong, scanning the environment for issues, and then we start to, because we're scanning, we're so focused, right?

It's usually the negative things that, that's what it's focusing on, that we end up only seeing that as what is going on.

So we-- then we're like fuck. This is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm worried about this client, that they're gonna say something," and then they did, and now it goes to shit.

However, we forgot about the five other clients today that said you were doing amazing.

Now, again, we don't wanna be so focused on having other people's external validation, but you can see where we're not really dealing with reality. We're dealing with a very distorted view that is not serving us, though. That's the other thing. If it was serving us, go for it, but it is not.

 

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[00:20:00-00:22:00] Moving Toward What Lights You Up

So again, all right, if we're thinking about, changing jobs or careers, which I'm honestly, I'm all for what is gonna make you happy.

But I've yet to find someone that when I'm talking to them about this situation that has really looked at the big picture and really looked at what lights them up.

Because going towards something that lights you up is a lot different than going away from something that sucks.

Because if you're going away from something that sucks, whatever you land on is, again, probably gonna be some discrepancy between reality and what you thought it was, and so then that isn't fulfilling.

But when you go towards what you want and inadvertently you're away from what you don't want, then you're following something that is going to light you up, that is going to be interesting, that is going to be fulfilling.

So those are different things.

The- and we think those are mutually exclusive. We think that they're one and the same, and they, they definitely are not.

And a lot of this is because our, our nervous system, it's the same, right? It doesn't matter you know, what environment we're in.

We just tend to, I believe, see a lot of this come out in certain environments that are stressful, like veterinary medicine.

So think about it this way. I put a post on social media, uh, maybe last week, week, week before, and it said something about you know, we're

I can, we can do CPR on a patient and be cool, but like the second our manager says, "Hey, I wanna talk. Come in my office," we're we've like un- we're we've come unattached. We spiral, right?

Nope, we did CPR. We're over here trying to save a life, but that is the thing that causes us to get stressed, right?

 

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[00:22:00-00:24:00] Why Stress Follows You Everywhere

So think about that.

Now, think about it in like a relationship. What if your partner is like, "Hey, we need to talk."

Like it doesn't matter, you're not even at work anymore. That's still gonna cause that nervous system to be into overdrive.

So you can see that we're not really getting away from the thing and going towards the thing that lights us up.

We're trying to get away from that pain.

And if we're not learning how to deal with those stressful things and how to move through that without it just derailing our day, then we're just gonna recreate the same reality, just in a different environment, and I truly believe that. Truly believe that.

So the, the drawback too is that the more that we are experiencing these challenging situations and stressful situations, whether that's clients, that's your coworker or colleague who maybe is less than desirable, maybe you don't have a great management where you're working and you're like, "Ugh, this is gonna be painful today. Like, I gotta work with so-and-so, they're awful."

And then you're like, "Oh my God, everything they did was awful," right? 'Cause our brain now is scanning for that.

So when we find there's something stressful, don't think your brain's automatically gonna turn a switch and be like, "Actually, today wasn't that bad."

And maybe, unless you, like, won the lottery, right? Like, it'd have to be something to really counteract how that stressful day went.

And, um, and that's a problem. It's self-fulfilling prophecy because we worry and we stress about certain things, and then part or all of those things come true on some level, and so we-- it affirms what we believe, right?

 

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[00:24:00-00:26:00] Learning to Process Stress Differently

And the same, like I just said, is like, okay, so what if you have a partner, you work all day, you're really stressed at work, and then you come home and you find your partner's just sitting on the couch maybe dinner's not made, and they got out of work, you know, four hours ago, and then they look at you and they're like, "What are you cooking for dinner?"

And you're like, "I'm gonna lose it right now."

So again, it doesn't just stay at home. How do you deal with that? How do you work through that? Do you throw your shit down and yell at them and walk out and go get takeout?

Maybe, but I can guarantee that's probably not gonna solve the problem, and it's probably gonna happen again.

So that's the difference, is learning how to process and move through the stressors whether you're in vet med or you're not, right? It doesn't always matter.

Just a lot of times I think it comes out in vet med because it's our, our livelihood. It's our career. We've put so much time and energy into it, so we want things to be perfect, and obviously there's a s- very small to nonexistent margin of error in vet med too.

But you can't stop the stress, right? That is life.

But you can learn to look at it and process it in a different way so that you don't have the same shitty outcome where you're frustrated, you're resentful, and you're just ripping your hair out.

All right, so how do we do that?

It... A lot of times this is, and I do this with my coaching clients, but we wanna change our approach and our thought processes.

 

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[00:26:00-00:28:00] Changing Your Default Stress Response

So I just said that the more we think and process in a certain way, we already know with neuroplasticity that pathway gets really ingrained, and that's like our default pathway.

So the opposite is true too.

We can see a different way to do this and to process, but we have to approach it a different way, and that can be hard. That can be very, very hard if we've done certain things for years or decades and to see a different approach.

And I, by this too, I, I think sometimes this gets misconstrued, but I'm not saying to allow people to walk all over you, to not give a fuck if so-and-so is rude to you. That's not what I'm saying.

I'm saying that we address it in certain ways, and are there times where we're gonna pick our battles? Yeah, and sometimes we want to fight that battle, and sometimes we don't, and that is part of that process too.

It's not letting people just get away with whatever.

So- think of it this way too, back to my baker analogy.

So I could become a baker if I did, and then what am I gonna do?

I'm now dealing with clients that aren't happy.

Maybe I change bakeries, right? I work at a different place, but it's still the same thing.

And now I'm just worried about upsetting clients, so then I over-function and over-deliver, which many of us do, and I'm always, like, fearing that one-star Google review from, Susan trying to pick up the cake for her mom's 80th birthday, right?

 

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[00:28:00-00:30:00] It's Not About the One-Star Review

So it doesn't matter where that one-star Google review, right? I think to some degree- I could argue that it's, it's worse, right, for vet med because we take and put so much passion and heart into this and our, it's our livelihood and it's our life for many of us.

Um, so to get a one-star Google review can feel like a lot.

Maybe it's easier to brush it off as a baker. I don't know, never been one.

But also, that's your, like, creativity. That might be your business. That's your outlet, and then someone's giving you a one-star Google review.

So you can see it's not about the fucking one-star Google review.

It's about how are you gonna let that affect you?

Are you gonna move through and maybe even address if there's something is, if there is something to address there, address it with that person, right?

But sometimes that is what feels really uncomfortable.

So when you do learn the skills for these situations, you can stop feeling stressed, or you feel much less stressed, and that feeling of overwhelm gets pulled back.

And then you don't have that frustration, which a lot of times can lead to resentment, right?

So we're just really trying to lessen the intensity that we're experiencing because oftentimes the things that are stressful for us, it's usually there's some underlying fear that's there, right?

So maybe a client is just difficult, and it's, we're like, "Ugh, we hate this," right? Because we fear making a mistake because we know that they're gonna be rude to us, and we don't want that judgment.

 

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[00:30:00-00:32:00] Real Coaching Example: Stop Doing Other People’s Work

So I came up with a few examples here of my, my coaching clients that I think would be really helpful 'cause you're like, "Okay, this sounds great in theory, Parks, but, um, how we gonna do it?" And, uh, I'm gonna show you.

Okay. So example number one, I have a client who is... Now, the- these are the examples that I have are veterinarians, but honestly, you can put, insert any variable into this mix, right? Whatever situation.

It's gonna look different for everyone. It's not the situation that's the challenge. It's how we respond to it, right? Which is the whole theme of what I'm talking about.

So I have a client, coaching client, and she was You know, putting in charges for the exams that she was seeing, right? Like an appointment, so maybe it's an exam and an ear cytology, and ear meds, and whatever, right?

So it is her... And again, this is gonna be different at every hospital, and this is not to say, like, anyone is above doing a certain job. But it was her technician's responsibility to put the charges in.

And again, you can be a technician, and maybe it's your assistant's role to get the ear cytology set up, right? Like, it doesn't matter the thing. These are just the examples I'm giving.

So now she's busy doing everything else. The doc- my doctor... Oh my God, hold on. Sorry. My cat is out of control right now. He's, like, wanting to be in my lap. I'm trying to read my notes.

Okay, so she's putting in charges. Her technician is not. It is her technician's responsibility.

Now, as we were talking with my client, she did say, she's like, "Well, you know, we have... Someone put charges in, and the other person has to check it."

And I'm like, "Hold on." First of all, that's very common. That's great. I... There's nothing wrong with that.

I'm like, "Hold on. Your technician is still gonna have to look at the charges, but you're s- you're putting them in first," which sometimes can take a little bit of time, right? Depending on if there's a lot of charges to put in.

I'm like, "So it's not like this person is just not doing it. Like, she's still gonna have to look. So how, how is it... It doesn't take that much more to just put the charges in herself."

And she's like, "Yeah."

I'm like, "Okay." So we walked through what to say to this person, and how it is not a discussion, and you don't have to be rude. You don't have to be mean. In fact, I think this is probably one of her technicians that she actually likes, she enjoys working with, 'cause she's really good and she's thorough.

 

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[00:32:00-00:34:00] Addressing Problems Instead of Absorbing Them

So we talked about, okay, what can we say to this person so that it isn't a discussion, it's an ask, what my coaching client can do, and how she can stop doing it, right?

And you might think, "Okay, this is, like, kinda trivial." Maybe.

But- Add up these little things that you do every day that piss you off because your coworker is too lazy to do them.

And I'm not saying in this case she was lazy. I, I know she was doing other things, but I'm just saying in general, right?

Now, d- think about how much time and energy you would get back if you had to not do those things that were not your job initially, okay?

And again, this isn't the teamwork shit. I'm not talking about that. This is fine, and I can guarantee if you're listening to this, this podcast, you're, you have teamwork. You have too much teamwork. You're doing everyone else's fucking job, right? This is what we're trying to stop.

So I gave her some word tracks, things to say, how to say it, and not to... You know, it's not a, "Hey, do you think you could?" Because that's an ask, and it won't get done.

And long story short, she-- We just had a, a... I just talked to her last week, this past week, and, um, she's like, "Yeah." She's been putting in charges. I've been holding back, not doing the charges, and so I can start working on records.

And she-- I'm like, "Awesome. So good."

And I'm like, "Are you doing less work?" 'Cause she was working on her, obviously late in the day after the clinic is closed and even on her days off to do records.

And she's like, "Yeah, I'm definitely doing less of that, um, than when we just, you know, started working together."

So I'm like, "Oh, this is... Perfect. Phenomenal."

And then she told me-- This made me crack up. Then she told me, "Hey, I actually was telling this technician 'This is why I'm having you do...'" 'Cause so the technician was frustrated by something else that someone else was not doing, right?

And my coaching client was like, "Hey, why don't you say something? Why don't you address it?"

 

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[00:34:00-00:36:00] Small Changes Create More Capacity

And, you know, she kinda, "Well, whatever. It's not..." You know, kind of the same thing we all would think is like it's not gonna get addressed, whatever.

And so my, my coaching client was like, "You know, this is how I have you doing charges for me now, is like I'm not doing it for you, so y- we do have to sometimes stop doing the thing for the, for it to get done."

And I was laughing because I'm like, "Were you coaching her? Like now you're coaching her. This is awesome."

So we were laughing.

But all that to say is that the little things that piss us off every day, the problem is our resilience for that, right?

The more that that happens, the more things that drive us crazy, the less energy and focus that we have for those things.

So that's why it is, you know, super, super important to, even if it seems small, we have to start somewhere.

This is gonna expand our time and our energy and our capacity.

The second example I have is another client of mine.

She Was having someone do, uh, having the receptionist, they were doing follow-ups and callbacks, which are for, certain, probably, like, after surgeries and, you know, just checking on patients, which I know, I remember how important I would...

have a surgery day, and the next day I would go on the computer and look and see what the follow-up was.

Like, "Oh, pet's doing well."

I'm like, "Oh, thank God."

"Okay, I don't have to worry about that one," right?

Like, we're so hypervigilant.

And so she was having to remind the team that they had to do those follow-ups and those calls.

 

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[00:36:00-00:38:00] Let Other People Own Their Responsibilities

I'm like, "Hold on. Why are you doing this? Like, you have a practice manager."

And she's like, "Yeah, it doesn't always get done."

I'm like, "Okay."

I'm like, "Well, it definitely won't get done if you keep doing it."

But it was really coming from that, like, I wanna know and I wanna make sure that these patients are doing okay.

And I'm like, "Excellent. So we know the importance of it, but you don't have to be the one to do it and to constantly check on it."

So we, you know, we talked about how to really empower the people that are supposed to be doing it, but also her practice manager to follow up and make sure that it's done.

Because she's working in a practice that is very understaffed. Like, they probably should have three doctors and there's just her.

So I'm like, "You already have enough to do. I understand you want it done, so it's important. That's fine, but how do we have someone else take responsibility for that and report back to you?"

And so now it's one less thing that she has to do, but she still gets the information, which is what she needed and she wanted.

So that is just a, a certain way of having that conversation, which is hugely important.

And another example I have is a client who, she had talked to someone That this was a, I think it was a newer client and, it was that high-maintenance client who she had, like, one exam with, and then they did some lab work, and then the client would call her back literally multiple times a day.

Like, "Well, what about this? What about this?" All the what-ifs, right? Keep in mind, I'm pretty sure the lab work looked totally normal.

 

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[00:38:00-00:40:00] Setting Boundaries with High-Maintenance Clients

And she's like, "Well, like, yeah." You know, she just... My client was like, "This is exhausting. It's taking-- it's interrupting my day. I'm having to pull myself away from appointments, and then I get on the phone," and the client wasn't even nice about it.

So the client's talking her ear off, asking her about the what-ifs, and then she would give her thoughts on it, and then the client would come back with a rebuttal of why that wasn't good enough.

And so my client's like, "Goddamn, like, this is just exhausting."

But I also feel like, you know, we think they're clients. They're the ones who pay, you know, to come here, so we should bend over backwards.

So we got really clear on how to set a boundary with this client.

You know? Like, you can't be interrupting my day multiple times a day. I can't just get on the phone and talk to you about the what-ifs.

If you have, a legit question or concern, then you bring your pet in, and we talk about it.

And she was able to do that, and she's like, "I don't even feel bad. I don't even feel bad. I felt really good because now I actually have time back."

And she's like, "And it helps my receptionist because they are..." They were frustrated, right? 'Cause now this client's calling all the time, asking all these things, and they don't know what to do with her, and they're-- she's kind of being rude to the, the front desk staff as well.

And so-- and obviously, like, addressing someone being rude is, that's a whole 'nother conversation.

But setting a boundary with that client so that she doesn't have to dread going to work.

She doesn't have to...

This used to be the worst for me was to work all day, saw that fucking sticky note on your computer that you gotta call so-and-so, and you're like, "Fuck, I don't wanna do this. This person asked me the same thing eight different ways, and I give them the same fucking answer."

It's the little shit like that will absolutely drain so much out of us and take the enjoyment that we have from this profession.

 

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[00:40:00-00:42:00] You May Not Need a New Career

So those are just a few examples, and I wanna invite you that, you don't necessarily need that new job, new career, or even a new degree, right?

We have a lot of skills that are transferable, number one.

But number two, a lot of the skills like this that I'm talking about in those examples, we've never been taught.

We've never been taught how to, say no without being rude to someone and just not continuing to over-give until we have nothing left.

And I will tell you it's much easier to, teach this and learn this in the moment than get so frustrated, leave your job or career, and then realize, like, "Fuck, I'm still miserable, and it might be slightly better, but this isn't all I thought it was cracked up to be."

So my group mentorship called Vet Your Thoughts, this is exactly what I teach and I give guidance on in that group coaching program.

But even better, I am doing a free masterclass training that will give you a little taste of how these coaching calls go.

And so I talked a little bit about that today, about those examples that I gave, and those are very real-life examples that I coach on and give you guys support and guidance for how to, like, stop that stress and overwhelm, right?

Like now.

We don't have to map out this five-year plan.

We just wanna know, how do I go to work tomorrow and have it not suck, and how do I not be miserable and resentful?

 

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[00:42:00-End] Masterclass Invitation and Closing Thoughts

So if you wanna get on that free training, you need to be there.

Actually, you don't even need to be there. You just have to sign up.

I would love it if you're there, though.

It is next Wednesday. So this is coming out on a Thursday. It's next Wednesday, June 17th at 1:00 PM Eastern on Zoom.

If you sign up but you're not able to make it, you'll still have access to the replay, so make sure you sign up.

You can grab the link in the show notes here, or you can go to

thestressandburnoutcoach.com/thoughts, T-H-O-U-G-H-T-S, and at the top, you'll see that there's a banner for the masterclass.

You can sign up there, or you can go on Instagram and follow me @dr.amberparks and DM me the word support, S-U-P-P-O-R-T, and I will send you the link for that masterclass.

Definitely come in.

It's gonna be fun.

I'm gonna share, you know, how, how all this looks, give you a taste of what that looks like to see if it's, like, a good fit for you, and we'll have a Q&A session to answer any of your questions about, the program at the end.

And, um, yeah, I'm super excited.

I hope to see you guys there, and I hope this was helpful episode.

So before you run away to another career, vet med needs you definitely just check this out and make sure that this isn't maybe the solution that you need.

But I have a feeling this is really gonna help a lot of you.

So I hope this helps.

If this episode did help you, please like and share this.

Um, Spotify, Apple, I appreciate a five-star review.

That just helps other veterinary professionals to hear this episode and get as much information and help from this episode that you did as well.

So I thank you guys so much for listening, and I will see you on the next episode.