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Epi 71:

Still Skipping Lunch, Staying Late, and Taking Work Home? You Might Be Solving the Wrong Problem Behind Your Burnout

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What does an international spy story have to do with skipping lunch, staying late, and veterinary burnout?

More than you might think. If you keep trying to manage your time better, be more productive, or finally get back to exercising but still end up exhausted, you may be focusing on the symptoms instead of the real problem.

In this episode, we question the rules veterinary professionals have accepted as “just part of the job” and uncover what actually needs to change for lasting recovery from burnout and chronic stress.

If you’re tired of working harder at healing without actually feeling better, you have to listen to this episode.

What You'll Learn In This Episode

  • [00:00] Why focusing on the symptoms of burnout may be keeping you stuck.

  • [04:00] What an international spy story reveals about the “facts” we rarely question.

  • [06:00] How beliefs like “I have to stay late” and “I have to put everyone first” contribute to burnout.

  • [18:00] Why better time management, productivity, exercise, and sleep may not address the real problem.

  • [21:00] The deeper questions to ask when you feel like you have to do everything yourself.

  • [25:00] How repeated workplace behaviors become beliefs that feel impossible to challenge.

  • [30:00] A step-by-step approach to identifying and questioning the assumptions behind your burnout.

     

Key Takeaways

  • [14:00] The symptoms of burnout are not always the source of burnout.

  • [18:00] Better productivity will not fix the beliefs and patterns creating your overwhelm.

  • [25:00] Repeated behaviors can start to feel like facts, even when they are not.

  • [30:00] Feeling resentful may signal that an expectation, need, or boundary is being ignored.

  • [31:00] Pay attention to how often you say, “I have to,” “I should,” or “That’s just part of the job.”

  • [33:00] Ask whether a belief is objectively true, where you learned it, and whether it is helping or hurting you.

  • [37:00] Lasting burnout recovery requires addressing the deeper patterns, not just managing the symptoms.

A Truth You Need to Hear:

“The symptoms are what we experience and want to fix. But lasting change starts with digging deeper.”

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www.thestressandburnoutcoach.com

 

S2 Episode 71 Transcript:

Still Skipping Lunch, Staying Late, and Taking Work Home? You Might Be Solving the Wrong Problem Behind Your Burnout

 

[00:00]

Most veterinary professionals come to me wanting more time, less stress, and the ability to finally leave work at work. But almost every time, they're focused on the symptoms instead of the real problem. In today's episode, we're talking about why that matters and how it could completely change the way you think about burnout and how you heal.

All right, guys, come on in and join me.

Welcome to Stop the Burnout, a podcast for veterinary professionals who love medicine but are exhausted by the people pressure, expectations, and the constant mental load that comes with it. If you've ever thought, "I shouldn't feel this drained doing something I care about," you're not alone, and you're definitely not broken.

I'm Dr. Amber Parks, a veterinarian turned stress and burnout coach, and here we talk about the stuff that no one taught us, like how to actually break the stress and burnout patterns once and for all, and how to stay in this profession without losing yourself. You won't find bubble bath, toxic positivity, or self-care fluff pretending to be the solution here.

Let's get into it.

[01:00]

All right. Welcome back to another episode of Stop the Burnout. Today, we're chatting About something that I hear almost daily. And it can greatly impact the healing process of burnout and chronic stress, and also I would go out on a limb and say it will impact not just things that deal with stress and burnout in your career, but life in general.

And we're gonna get into it. First, this will make sense, I promise. First, I want to share a quick little story that got me thinking about this episode. So I was listening to an audiobook because, why not? And it's a nonfiction. Honestly, as I'm s- talking to you guys, I couldn't even tell you the author or the title of it 'cause I go through so many of, or I'll half-listen and be like, "Yeah, no, this isn't for me."

So anyway it's a true story. This woman, she works for the US, or did. Excuse me, I don't think she does anymore. CIA, maybe FBI too. Anyway, she was a spy, and so she was kind of explaining and sharing her story and her journey. But the part that, like, stopped me in my tracks was she was, she got really high up in the CIA, and she was essentially, like, hunting, if you will, terrorists.

And I won't even get into the specifics 'cause I don't really remember it, but she was to the point that she was working with other countries, and there was a point that they were tracking this particular person, and she's like, "Oh my gosh. They went into, this other country. They're there. We are gonna lose track of them."

And so she called this other country, which she doesn't say what country it is, so I have no idea. It's kind of irrelevant, but she's like, "Hey, this person's here in your country. Can you get eyes on them? Or even, like, pull them at the airport or whatever. You know, we need to t- speak to them.

Our concerns are, like, there's something bigger that this person's gonna do or, or be in charge of. Some big catastrophe," right? And she said she's, like, reaching out to this other country like, "Hey, we need help. This person's here. Like, ugh, hurry up." And they replied, "Okay, thanks. Thank you for letting us know.

Um, as you know," it's there's probably, like, one person in charge that streamlined some of this. They were like, "Hey just so you know, it's Sunday, and so there's no one in the office. We don't have anyone to do that." So I was like, "Wait, what?" I listened to it, like, a second time, and then there's another part in the book that the same thing happened again.

And I, it like stopped me in my tracks, obviously, 'cause I don't remember anything else about the book except that.

[04:00]

So here is this global pote- potential global issue, definitely potential inter-country issue that I didn't even know they would say that, right? Like, they basically were like, "It's a Sunday.

We're not working on Sunday." Now, keep in mind, that means there's literal lives at stake. So I bring this story up because not that whether it's right or wrong, it was the idea that we assume certain things that we do and say every day, we've just accepted as fact or a belief we have we accept as fact, right?

So when you listen to that story, definitely us in the US, right, we ... No one takes all their vacation for the most part as a majority. And then we look at other countries that take and have multiple weeks, months, four, six weeks minimum is probably like the minimum for a lot of countries, especially in Europe, to take time off and vacation and holiday.

And it was just so funny to me, funny ironic, that this was a potential global threat, thing that affected lives, and it was like, "Nope, this is like a hard boundary for us. We don't work on Sunday." And I was like, "Wow, shit. I think vet med could, um, and probably a lot of other industries could probably learn a lot from that" because I think sometimes with being in veterinary medicine, we're like, "Hey, it is life or death.

We can't just clock out at 5:00 PM and not think about it because we have to be available for our clients and our patients, and there isn't an ER," and, insert whatever belief we have, right?

[06:00]

So again, the idea isn't that was that right or wrong. That's a different podcast episode. The question is what have we stopped questioning, and we've now just created this as fact, and we live our life through that?

So what I mean is, a- and I'll give you some examples here, but things that we've done or said because somewhere along the lines we have taken this as fact, and this is just how it is. And we don't really question that. The problem is, though, a lot of those things contribute to our burnout.

So for example Many people think, "Okay for me to be a good vet or support team member, like, I have to put everyone first, especially at work."

Maybe especially as a veterinarian, I have to be available after hours and have to always be accessible maybe to my patients, especially if maybe you're a practice owner. Or maybe it's the idea that, okay, if I don't do this, it won't get done, so I'm gonna have to do it, whatever that looks like. Or another thing that we've just kind of taken as fact is that it becomes normal to skip lunch and stay late because not 'cause we're like, "Okay, yes, I'd love to stay late today," it's because we think, "Well, I have to because that's part of my job.

I have to finish records. I have to call these clients back." So you see how easily we rationalize that belief is fact for us.

[07:30]

Some more of those are things like we have to work hard to earn money. Now most, now I won't say most, a vast majority if not all of us work very hard in this profession and don't make enough money, so there's that.

But have you ever had a day where, and I, I see this a lot with veterinarians and support team members, but maybe you've done... Oh, here's a great example. Working ER, pet comes in, owner rushes it in, so freaked out. The dog's having a reverse sneeze, and you look it over and you're like, "This dog's totally fine."

Like, vitals are normal. It's stopped. Its SpO2 is normal, like all the things, right? And I know a lot of veterinarians would be like, "You know what? No worries. Just go. There's no charge. Just go." Which you are totally... If you're able to do that and you wanna do that, by all means, do that. But what I think is interesting is stuff that comes so easily to us, especially the more you've done it, the longer that you've been in this pr- profession, we tend to downplay how much effort it took us to know that little piece of information because the client's freaking out, and yes, sometimes you can Google it, but they don't always know, and they're not thinking straight because they're panicked that their pet is choking and can't breathe.

But does it mean that working hard we always have to make it really challenging? In other words, in an example like that, because it came easy, because it was something that we knew off the top of our head, we didn't have to really think about it, do a lot of research, et cetera, et cetera, we feel like, oh, well, it's not really worth it.

Like, we don't wanna have to charge these people. And- Therefore, we think the opposite is true as well. Like, if we have to work really hard, and this is, this is okay, but both can't be true, that we work really hard, we should charge for it, absolutely, but that doesn't mean if we don't work hard, we shouldn't charge for it.

Because we have to look at geez, how many years of schooling and practice and knowing how the respiratory system works to know, and the, or the anatomy, to know that, hey, that's a reverse sneeze, pet's fine otherwise, moving on. So that's a thing, right? We never even think twice about it. We just feel bad.

[09:45]

Another one is that we feel uncomfortable saying no, right? We hear this one a lot, and we assume it's going to upset people. People are gonna think we're lazy or we're difficult, we're not that team player, and that's the story we tell ourselves, so we feel really guilty about saying no. And the, there's another concept here of we feel, we think we will feel better if we rush and get everything done and push ourselves and work harder, and then once we get caught up, we'll be good.

And I can tell you that one's a lie because I thought that is what I had to do. I literally did that for years. By the way, never got caught up. There's always something.

[10:45]

So what I'm saying with all of this is what if these aren't necessarily true, but these are the beliefs that we've been living our life through and our careers and our jobs through, and so what happens is then we think, "Well, this is just it," right?

This is like the sky is fucking blue, right? We gotta stay until we finish records. Like, there's no other option in our mind because it seems very black and white. This is what we need to do because this is part of our job, and we don't think to question it because... And we'll get into the neuroscience of that too a little bit later.

So what you have to realize though is what I was saying earlier. If you think this is true, we, that we're inadvertently also saying the opposite is true. So you think that if you're a good vet that you have to put everyone first, then you think that if you don't put everyone first, you're a bad vet, right?

Like, it's that black and white thinking. And if I am not, again, it goes back to like that reverse sneeze. If I'm not working hard, then I can't earn money or it must not be worth it to charge, or I feel bad charging. Okay, like there's the opposite of that. Okay, so we got all that in our head.

[12:00]

Now, where the fuck do these ideas come from? Burnout, it doesn't just ... burnout and these beliefs don't just pop up out of nowhere, right? There's a lot of moving parts to this, and one, if you've ever heard and listened to my podcast or you've come to some of my master classes, the idea that a lot of our beliefs are started in childhood, and I won't go into too much detail so that way I can keep this on a relatively short, hopefully short podcast episode.

But a lot of these beliefs start between zero and seven years of age, and then we're like sponges. We just live our life through that lens when we don't know any better at that young age. We see situations and challenges, or we experience them firsthand, and we take that as truth. Also, society loves to feed us what, and I have a lot of theories about this that I won't go into, but society will feed us a lot of beliefs that are beneficial to a lot of other people than maybe ourselves.

And so when everyone starts to believe this though, and it's the lens that we all or many of us live our life through, talk about gaslighting, because to think the opposite feels literally uncomfortable, doesn't feel safe in our body, like rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, pit of your stomach feeling, and no wonder why we don't get, you know, really stop and think about them and why we don't question them, because it feels literally uncomfortable to question them.

[13:40]

So this is where we- and it's commonly accepted in the profession too, sure, stay late, work through lunch. We, and I've, I've done this so many times, we wear it like a badge of honor like, "Ugh, I just worked," you know, I can't even tell you how many times people have told me this like, "I just worked, you know, 24 days in a row without a day off."

And I'm not just talking like sat behind a desk and typed, right? Like the, the physical and mental ability to do that in the veterinary profession is hard, whether you're a support team member, you're a veterinarian, you're a practice owner, doesn't matter. That is-- There's a lot of moving parts, and it's not just data entry.

It, there, right? There's a lot of physical and mento- mental energy that goes into that. So that is why it feels unsafe too though to, like, question that. So n- that's number one.

[14:40]

The bigger problem I see here, which is the whole reason for this episode when I started thinking about this, is whoa, shit, okay.

The symptoms that we are trying to solve, which I will go into, are just that. They're symptoms. The bigger issue that we're not questioning because it feels uncomfortable to question are the things that I mentioned. These are, like, bigger beliefs and facts that we feel are literally true based on societal conditioning and probably some of our upbringing.

I would say even just the veterinary profession in general reinforces them.

 

[15:00]

So if we're not... Because when people come to me and like, "Hey, I want coaching," I'm like, "All right, cool. Let's talk about what's going on They often, and everyone does this, there's nothing wrong with it, we're so focused on like, "I want to stop being stressed.

I want to not be anxious. I want to not be overwhelmed. I want to not wake up at 2:00 AM and can't go back to sleep. I want to not have imposter syndrome." So the problem is though, first of all, I told someone this the other day on a call, I was like, "I will, I promise you, I don't have like this secret code and I'm gonna give it to you and you'll be all healed."

It is, it's a process, but also we're, we gotta dig into those deeper challenges and those beliefs, which is what we're talking about in this episode, to be able to like excavate what that truly is so we can get you on the road to healing. And these are some of the symptoms that we think are, if I solve this symptom, I'll be good.

[16:00]

But it is for an analogy sake, I'm in Florida, USA, a lot of allergies here year-round. So it's like, "Hey, your dog has a skin infection and he's itchy. Here's your antibiotics, here's your Apoquil, and you'll be good." We already know what's gonna happen for the most part, right? It will probably fix the solution in the short term, but we know the Apoquil is not gonna be, here's the cure to your allergies.

And we know that antibiotic, well, we're not gonna stay on it for life, number one, and number two, it's treating the secondary infection. So both of those things aren't wrong, but if the owner says, "This will cure his allergies, all will be good," right? We know that's not true because we're not truly getting to the root cause.

Side note, obviously allergies are very convoluted. We've all had or been privy to those conversations with clients. That's not what we're talking about here. But what I'm saying is we know when we're giving meds like that, there's deeper- root patterns and, and root disease processes that are going on. We know this isn't gonna solve it, but we're trying to make the pet feel better.

But ultimately, how many times, and again, me being in Florida, I can't tell you how many times I've had clients come back even after you have the allergy talk, and then they come back and they're frustrated because their pet's itchy again, and he only gets better on the meds. And you're like, "Okay, love you so much, pet owner, but did you black out when we talked about allergies?"

And then you have the conversation again, right? We know as experts that, duh, this is not gonna be your long-term solution.

[18:00]

So I just want you to kinda like have that, that concept and that lens in your mind when I share these because again, myself included, I thought that these were the symptoms that I had to cure, quote unquote, in order to heal burnout.

So things like, "Okay, I just need better time management. I'm pushed to the max, and if I can just prioritize and do better time management, then I won't feel overwhelmed, and I'll feel better," or, "I just need to be more productive and more efficient with my time." Which sure, potentially there's some opportunity there, but again, we're looking at the deeper issue.

Um, this one I, I get a lot, and w- I think it, it's coming obviously from a good place, but the symptom of, "Hey, I need to exercise. I wanna eat better." Like, these are all the things we want. Nothing wrong with that. By all means, like, we need that. The problem is when people come to me, they're like, "How do I get more time out of my day?

How do I start to feel better so I can start exercising?" And I'm like, "Hold on. We've got a bigger issue that we have not got to the root problem of that." Another symptom is, "Yeah, hey, I just wanna stop feeling so overwhelmed. Then I can just do my job, and it'll be fine." And, you know, things like, "Oh, I just, I just wanna sleep better.

I just need to stop thinking about this thing, and then I'll be good." Because that's like our every day. Those are the things in the front of our brain that we constantly have, like, "I should have gone to the gym this morning and worked out before work," even though you're fucking exhausted. "I should have meal prepped on Sunday for the entire week."

Okay, great. A is do you even have time to do that? And B, you probably just spent half your day off trying to re- A, recover from the previous shift and do 20 other things on your to-do list, right? So it's, it is about eating better, but it's not. We're looking at having the capacity to do these things. So again, it's not that when clients come to me, coaching clients, they're like, you know, they feel like it's, "Okay, I'm not disciplined enough.

I'm not motivated enough to go out and work out. I'm not disciplined enough to have really good-" efficiency and workflow, and that's why I'm constantly overwhelmed and have all this work to do. And they're like, I, you know, like, how do we do that? And we have to take a step back and realize that we have built our life and career around these assumptions.

And what we never realized is that we're creating these assumptions that it has to be this way. Now granted, yes, maybe we wanna feel better, we wanna start working out, we wanna eat better. That is fine. But we've also assumed that is the problem. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough energy.

Yep, but it's a symptom, right? You see where I'm going with this.

[21:00]

So Now, to give those examples, the, the flip side of that is, okay, if someone tells me like, "I just need better time management," then the, the question that we start to ask ourselves is, okay why is staying late okay? Why is not having a lunch okay?

Those are the things that I ask. Like, where in our mind did we tell ourselves that that's how it is? And you might say okay, Amber that's fucking my job. I gotta finish this record by law, you know, within X number of hours, 24 hours, three days, whatever." Or, "I have to not go to lunch 'cause I have to finish this pet that I have to sedate, and if I don't, like, management's gonna be pissed at me."

It's like and we'll get into how we start to heal this too. But do you see where that's still coming off an assumption? Like, yeah, maybe management would be pissed at you, but again, we don't ever question it past that. Okay, well, why, like, why do we have this bigger problem? Or, why do you feel like you need to be more productive and to be able to, like, just squeeze a little more productivity out of your day?

My question I ask is why do you feel like you have to do it all yourself? And some people might say, "Well, no, I do have to do it all myself." I'm like, hold on. Again, this is a belief, and we're seeing the symptom. Another one is that, like I said before, that feeling like I need to exercise, I need to eat better.

Because when we don't do that, we feel guilty. Why do we feel guilty? Well, I know to be healthy I should be exercising, and I should be eating better. Okay. But why don't, can't you? Why I just don't have enough time? Well, do you not have enough time because you've put everyone else first, and this isn't a priority for you?

And I'm not saying that in a bad way. I'm just saying it's not a priority because everything else is a priority.

[23:00]

So again, we're digging a little bit deeper, and also some of that comes from society, right? Like, I don't know, all the fucking shit you see on social media. Oh, cool. Yeah, so I'm just gonna be a brain surgeon, work 80 hours a week work out an hour each day four to five times a week.

go home, take care of three pets, two kids, a partner. Oh, I like to crochet on the weekend. I own my own practice. What? No one does that. I know it looks like that on social media, but that is not reality. So we get in our mind that, oh, that fucking person did it, so I should be able to do that. You have no fucking clue what a train wreck that person could be inside, right?

Maybe they are doing all that, but they're not in a great relationship with their partner, or they're doing all that, but then they ne- never show up for their kids or, insert whatever. So that's where that External conditioning comes in where, mm, okay, I thought I had to do those things, then we guilt ourselves into it.

Or the thought of, okay, the symptom, hey, I wanna stop feeling guilty. Well, why do you feel like saying no makes you selfish? Well, probably some of society, and maybe somewhere a coworker or leadership or whomever made you feel that way because you saw maybe a cl- you know, a, a coworker set a boundary and then leadership, like, wasn't happy with it or whatever situation.

So all of this to say, the symptoms are what we experience and what we want to fix. However, when we get long-lasting change and real solid foundation, it starts with digging deeper. So why does this matter? You're like, "Okay, this sounds real cool, Parks, but, like, I just wanna have lunch tomorrow at work."

Okay. We're gonna roll it back a hot second, and then we're gonna go into the solution.

[25:00]

But first things first is: Why does this matter? Because our brains like to adapt to anything, good or bad. So if we are constantly seeing something as it's a repeated behavior, I'm constantly having to skip lunch because I get overbooked, or I constantly have to answer the receptionist questions every time I come out of an exam room and I'm exhausted.

So we automatically start to do these things more and more when we're either, I won't say forced to do it, but it just becomes like the cultural norm at practice, at practices. And I've seen that a lot in relief going to different practices. It's so interesting. Some veterinarians, like, will hop on the phone really quick and talk to a client, and some, and this is my take on it, some are really good at having their support team members be very empowered and coachable and can take a vast majority of those phone calls, which I think is so beautiful as far as efficiency goes.

But also, I know that a lot of support team members like to have that autonomy, and they like to be like an integral part of the team. I won't go into that, but anyway.

[26:00]

So all of that to say Whatever we see as something that is a repeated behavior, especially if we're seeing it around our environment, it becomes a belief.

It becomes like, "Oh, this is how things are," which is very interesting because, again, in going to many different practices, I see people that haven't worked at very many, if any, other practices, and so, and I'm sure you have maybe seen this in yourself or other people, they... Whatever they see, especially, like, when you're first getting into maybe veterinary medicine, the first place you work at, you're like, "Pff, this is how it's all done."

And then you go to another practice and you're like, "Whoa, holy shit, either this is a lot better or a lot worse," for the most part, right? Like, I'm sure there's things that people have... And I- gosh, I've heard stories, right? They're like, "I just thought this was how it was," and then they go to another practice and they're horrified that's how they saw it being done for five years when they worked there.

[27:00]

So what I'm saying is it's not always facts. It's just a repeated behavior, and what happens is that when our brains are like, "Okay, repeated behavior," we keep doing this over and over again, even if it's not healthy or we don't like it. So even if we skip lunch, and we're fucking hungry, and this is awful, or we always hop on the phone to talk to any client that calls about any little fucking thing on their pet, even if we haven't seen them in eight months, because that's just what we do.

So these behaviors, though, become beliefs, and our brains, the neuroscience behind that is our brain is always looking for shortcuts and ways to keep things moving faster, more streamlined, and less... more efficient and less chaotic.

[28:00]

So again, even if it's not healthy or helpful. So they're looking for, it's looking for shortcuts, and it's so fucking true when we're burnt out or under chronic stress because what happens is we don't have that bandwidth to say, "Well, geez, I don't wanna hop on that phone and talk to Mrs.

Crazy Lady. I don't have time to do that." And then we're conjuring up like how's that gonna go? What am I gonna say? Is my manager gonna catch wind of this and not be happy? What if this client calls back?" Like, all of that has energy and expends mental and emotional bandwidth, which we don't have extra of.

So that is why the more we do it- The more it becomes just a habit, and it feels so heavy and so big, and like this big ordeal if we just somehow wanna push back or not partake in that belief. And so that's what happens, is a lot of times we're like, "Okay, half of me is like absolutely fucking not. The other half is like, well, this is just how it is.

We just do it." And it's because it does feel that heavy and that challenging to now like, "Well, no, I'm not gonna do that today," and how is that gonna go down? No, we- we're just trying to fucking get through the day. So there is neuroscience behind it because our brain is trying to create those shortcuts again, even if they're not helpful or and they are harmful, and it's really just, again, making it as efficient as possible.

[29:30]

But the problem with that is it keeps us in very black or white thinking. So we're like that, that's just how it is. I can't change that." And we then feel powerless. We can feel very stuck. We can feel very disempowered. Like, yeah, you can do that at your practice. You can say that to management, but I can't do that at my practice.

And we believe it because everything around us is telling us that, no, you can't do that. So what I'm saying is to look at a situation or challenge that you're dealing with may not, as much as it feels and looks like, nope, this is just how it is, that may not be fully true.

 

[15:00]

So if we're not... Because when people come to me and like, "Hey, I want coaching," I'm like, "All right, cool. Let's talk about what's going on They often, and everyone does this, there's nothing wrong with it, we're so focused on like, "I want to stop being stressed.

I want to not be anxious. I want to not be overwhelmed. I want to not wake up at 2:00 AM and can't go back to sleep. I want to not have imposter syndrome." So the problem is though, first of all, I told someone this the other day on a call, I was like, "I will, I promise you, I don't have like this secret code and I'm gonna give it to you and you'll be all healed."

It is, it's a process, but also we're, we gotta dig into those deeper challenges and those beliefs, which is what we're talking about in this episode, to be able to like excavate what that truly is so we can get you on the road to healing. And these are some of the symptoms that we think are, if I solve this symptom, I'll be good.

[16:00]

But it is for an analogy sake, I'm in Florida, USA, a lot of allergies here year-round. So it's like, "Hey, your dog has a skin infection and he's itchy. Here's your antibiotics, here's your Apoquil, and you'll be good." We already know what's gonna happen for the most part, right? It will probably fix the solution in the short term, but we know the Apoquil is not gonna be, here's the cure to your allergies.

And we know that antibiotic, well, we're not gonna stay on it for life, number one, and number two, it's treating the secondary infection. So both of those things aren't wrong, but if the owner says, "This will cure his allergies, all will be good," right? We know that's not true because we're not truly getting to the root cause.

Side note, obviously allergies are very convoluted. We've all had or been privy to those conversations with clients. That's not what we're talking about here. But what I'm saying is we know when we're giving meds like that, there's deeper- root patterns and, and root disease processes that are going on. We know this isn't gonna solve it, but we're trying to make the pet feel better.

But ultimately, how many times, and again, me being in Florida, I can't tell you how many times I've had clients come back even after you have the allergy talk, and then they come back and they're frustrated because their pet's itchy again, and he only gets better on the meds. And you're like, "Okay, love you so much, pet owner, but did you black out when we talked about allergies?"

And then you have the conversation again, right? We know as experts that, duh, this is not gonna be your long-term solution.

[18:00]

So I just want you to kinda like have that, that concept and that lens in your mind when I share these because again, myself included, I thought that these were the symptoms that I had to cure, quote unquote, in order to heal burnout.

So things like, "Okay, I just need better time management. I'm pushed to the max, and if I can just prioritize and do better time management, then I won't feel overwhelmed, and I'll feel better," or, "I just need to be more productive and more efficient with my time." Which sure, potentially there's some opportunity there, but again, we're looking at the deeper issue.

Um, this one I, I get a lot, and w- I think it, it's coming obviously from a good place, but the symptom of, "Hey, I need to exercise. I wanna eat better." Like, these are all the things we want. Nothing wrong with that. By all means, like, we need that. The problem is when people come to me, they're like, "How do I get more time out of my day?

How do I start to feel better so I can start exercising?" And I'm like, "Hold on. We've got a bigger issue that we have not got to the root problem of that." Another symptom is, "Yeah, hey, I just wanna stop feeling so overwhelmed. Then I can just do my job, and it'll be fine." And, you know, things like, "Oh, I just, I just wanna sleep better.

I just need to stop thinking about this thing, and then I'll be good." Because that's like our every day. Those are the things in the front of our brain that we constantly have, like, "I should have gone to the gym this morning and worked out before work," even though you're fucking exhausted. "I should have meal prepped on Sunday for the entire week."

Okay, great. A is do you even have time to do that? And B, you probably just spent half your day off trying to re- A, recover from the previous shift and do 20 other things on your to-do list, right? So it's, it is about eating better, but it's not. We're looking at having the capacity to do these things. So again, it's not that when clients come to me, coaching clients, they're like, you know, they feel like it's, "Okay, I'm not disciplined enough.

I'm not motivated enough to go out and work out. I'm not disciplined enough to have really good-" efficiency and workflow, and that's why I'm constantly overwhelmed and have all this work to do. And they're like, I, you know, like, how do we do that? And we have to take a step back and realize that we have built our life and career around these assumptions.

And what we never realized is that we're creating these assumptions that it has to be this way. Now granted, yes, maybe we wanna feel better, we wanna start working out, we wanna eat better. That is fine. But we've also assumed that is the problem. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough energy.

Yep, but it's a symptom, right? You see where I'm going with this.

[21:00]

So Now, to give those examples, the, the flip side of that is, okay, if someone tells me like, "I just need better time management," then the, the question that we start to ask ourselves is, okay why is staying late okay? Why is not having a lunch okay?

Those are the things that I ask. Like, where in our mind did we tell ourselves that that's how it is? And you might say okay, Amber that's fucking my job. I gotta finish this record by law, you know, within X number of hours, 24 hours, three days, whatever." Or, "I have to not go to lunch 'cause I have to finish this pet that I have to sedate, and if I don't, like, management's gonna be pissed at me."

It's like and we'll get into how we start to heal this too. But do you see where that's still coming off an assumption? Like, yeah, maybe management would be pissed at you, but again, we don't ever question it past that. Okay, well, why, like, why do we have this bigger problem? Or, why do you feel like you need to be more productive and to be able to, like, just squeeze a little more productivity out of your day?

My question I ask is why do you feel like you have to do it all yourself? And some people might say, "Well, no, I do have to do it all myself." I'm like, hold on. Again, this is a belief, and we're seeing the symptom. Another one is that, like I said before, that feeling like I need to exercise, I need to eat better.

Because when we don't do that, we feel guilty. Why do we feel guilty? Well, I know to be healthy I should be exercising, and I should be eating better. Okay. But why don't, can't you? Why I just don't have enough time? Well, do you not have enough time because you've put everyone else first, and this isn't a priority for you?

And I'm not saying that in a bad way. I'm just saying it's not a priority because everything else is a priority.

[23:00]

So again, we're digging a little bit deeper, and also some of that comes from society, right? Like, I don't know, all the fucking shit you see on social media. Oh, cool. Yeah, so I'm just gonna be a brain surgeon, work 80 hours a week work out an hour each day four to five times a week.

go home, take care of three pets, two kids, a partner. Oh, I like to crochet on the weekend. I own my own practice. What? No one does that. I know it looks like that on social media, but that is not reality. So we get in our mind that, oh, that fucking person did it, so I should be able to do that. You have no fucking clue what a train wreck that person could be inside, right?

Maybe they are doing all that, but they're not in a great relationship with their partner, or they're doing all that, but then they ne- never show up for their kids or, insert whatever. So that's where that External conditioning comes in where, mm, okay, I thought I had to do those things, then we guilt ourselves into it.

Or the thought of, okay, the symptom, hey, I wanna stop feeling guilty. Well, why do you feel like saying no makes you selfish? Well, probably some of society, and maybe somewhere a coworker or leadership or whomever made you feel that way because you saw maybe a cl- you know, a, a coworker set a boundary and then leadership, like, wasn't happy with it or whatever situation.

So all of this to say, the symptoms are what we experience and what we want to fix. However, when we get long-lasting change and real solid foundation, it starts with digging deeper. So why does this matter? You're like, "Okay, this sounds real cool, Parks, but, like, I just wanna have lunch tomorrow at work."

Okay. We're gonna roll it back a hot second, and then we're gonna go into the solution.

[25:00]

But first things first is: Why does this matter? Because our brains like to adapt to anything, good or bad. So if we are constantly seeing something as it's a repeated behavior, I'm constantly having to skip lunch because I get overbooked, or I constantly have to answer the receptionist questions every time I come out of an exam room and I'm exhausted.

So we automatically start to do these things more and more when we're either, I won't say forced to do it, but it just becomes like the cultural norm at practice, at practices. And I've seen that a lot in relief going to different practices. It's so interesting. Some veterinarians, like, will hop on the phone really quick and talk to a client, and some, and this is my take on it, some are really good at having their support team members be very empowered and coachable and can take a vast majority of those phone calls, which I think is so beautiful as far as efficiency goes.

But also, I know that a lot of support team members like to have that autonomy, and they like to be like an integral part of the team. I won't go into that, but anyway.

[26:00]

So all of that to say Whatever we see as something that is a repeated behavior, especially if we're seeing it around our environment, it becomes a belief.

It becomes like, "Oh, this is how things are," which is very interesting because, again, in going to many different practices, I see people that haven't worked at very many, if any, other practices, and so, and I'm sure you have maybe seen this in yourself or other people, they... Whatever they see, especially, like, when you're first getting into maybe veterinary medicine, the first place you work at, you're like, "Pff, this is how it's all done."

And then you go to another practice and you're like, "Whoa, holy shit, either this is a lot better or a lot worse," for the most part, right? Like, I'm sure there's things that people have... And I- gosh, I've heard stories, right? They're like, "I just thought this was how it was," and then they go to another practice and they're horrified that's how they saw it being done for five years when they worked there.

[27:00]

So what I'm saying is it's not always facts. It's just a repeated behavior, and what happens is that when our brains are like, "Okay, repeated behavior," we keep doing this over and over again, even if it's not healthy or we don't like it. So even if we skip lunch, and we're fucking hungry, and this is awful, or we always hop on the phone to talk to any client that calls about any little fucking thing on their pet, even if we haven't seen them in eight months, because that's just what we do.

So these behaviors, though, become beliefs, and our brains, the neuroscience behind that is our brain is always looking for shortcuts and ways to keep things moving faster, more streamlined, and less... more efficient and less chaotic.

[28:00]

So again, even if it's not healthy or helpful. So they're looking for, it's looking for shortcuts, and it's so fucking true when we're burnt out or under chronic stress because what happens is we don't have that bandwidth to say, "Well, geez, I don't wanna hop on that phone and talk to Mrs.

Crazy Lady. I don't have time to do that." And then we're conjuring up like how's that gonna go? What am I gonna say? Is my manager gonna catch wind of this and not be happy? What if this client calls back?" Like, all of that has energy and expends mental and emotional bandwidth, which we don't have extra of.

So that is why the more we do it- The more it becomes just a habit, and it feels so heavy and so big, and like this big ordeal if we just somehow wanna push back or not partake in that belief. And so that's what happens, is a lot of times we're like, "Okay, half of me is like absolutely fucking not. The other half is like, well, this is just how it is.

We just do it." And it's because it does feel that heavy and that challenging to now like, "Well, no, I'm not gonna do that today," and how is that gonna go down? No, we- we're just trying to fucking get through the day. So there is neuroscience behind it because our brain is trying to create those shortcuts again, even if they're not helpful or and they are harmful, and it's really just, again, making it as efficient as possible.

[29:30]

But the problem with that is it keeps us in very black or white thinking. So we're like that, that's just how it is. I can't change that." And we then feel powerless. We can feel very stuck. We can feel very disempowered. Like, yeah, you can do that at your practice. You can say that to management, but I can't do that at my practice.

And we believe it because everything around us is telling us that, no, you can't do that. So what I'm saying is to look at a situation or challenge that you're dealing with may not, as much as it feels and looks like, nope, this is just how it is, that may not be fully true.

 
 

[15:00]

So if we're not... Because when people come to me and like, "Hey, I want coaching," I'm like, "All right, cool. Let's talk about what's going on They often, and everyone does this, there's nothing wrong with it, we're so focused on like, "I want to stop being stressed.

I want to not be anxious. I want to not be overwhelmed. I want to not wake up at 2:00 AM and can't go back to sleep. I want to not have imposter syndrome." So the problem is though, first of all, I told someone this the other day on a call, I was like, "I will, I promise you, I don't have like this secret code and I'm gonna give it to you and you'll be all healed."

It is, it's a process, but also we're, we gotta dig into those deeper challenges and those beliefs, which is what we're talking about in this episode, to be able to like excavate what that truly is so we can get you on the road to healing. And these are some of the symptoms that we think are, if I solve this symptom, I'll be good.

[16:00]

But it is for an analogy sake, I'm in Florida, USA, a lot of allergies here year-round. So it's like, "Hey, your dog has a skin infection and he's itchy. Here's your antibiotics, here's your Apoquil, and you'll be good." We already know what's gonna happen for the most part, right? It will probably fix the solution in the short term, but we know the Apoquil is not gonna be, here's the cure to your allergies.

And we know that antibiotic, well, we're not gonna stay on it for life, number one, and number two, it's treating the secondary infection. So both of those things aren't wrong, but if the owner says, "This will cure his allergies, all will be good," right? We know that's not true because we're not truly getting to the root cause.

Side note, obviously allergies are very convoluted. We've all had or been privy to those conversations with clients. That's not what we're talking about here. But what I'm saying is we know when we're giving meds like that, there's deeper- root patterns and, and root disease processes that are going on. We know this isn't gonna solve it, but we're trying to make the pet feel better.

But ultimately, how many times, and again, me being in Florida, I can't tell you how many times I've had clients come back even after you have the allergy talk, and then they come back and they're frustrated because their pet's itchy again, and he only gets better on the meds. And you're like, "Okay, love you so much, pet owner, but did you black out when we talked about allergies?"

And then you have the conversation again, right? We know as experts that, duh, this is not gonna be your long-term solution.

[18:00]

So I just want you to kinda like have that, that concept and that lens in your mind when I share these because again, myself included, I thought that these were the symptoms that I had to cure, quote unquote, in order to heal burnout.

So things like, "Okay, I just need better time management. I'm pushed to the max, and if I can just prioritize and do better time management, then I won't feel overwhelmed, and I'll feel better," or, "I just need to be more productive and more efficient with my time." Which sure, potentially there's some opportunity there, but again, we're looking at the deeper issue.

Um, this one I, I get a lot, and w- I think it, it's coming obviously from a good place, but the symptom of, "Hey, I need to exercise. I wanna eat better." Like, these are all the things we want. Nothing wrong with that. By all means, like, we need that. The problem is when people come to me, they're like, "How do I get more time out of my day?

How do I start to feel better so I can start exercising?" And I'm like, "Hold on. We've got a bigger issue that we have not got to the root problem of that." Another symptom is, "Yeah, hey, I just wanna stop feeling so overwhelmed. Then I can just do my job, and it'll be fine." And, you know, things like, "Oh, I just, I just wanna sleep better.

I just need to stop thinking about this thing, and then I'll be good." Because that's like our every day. Those are the things in the front of our brain that we constantly have, like, "I should have gone to the gym this morning and worked out before work," even though you're fucking exhausted. "I should have meal prepped on Sunday for the entire week."

Okay, great. A is do you even have time to do that? And B, you probably just spent half your day off trying to re- A, recover from the previous shift and do 20 other things on your to-do list, right? So it's, it is about eating better, but it's not. We're looking at having the capacity to do these things. So again, it's not that when clients come to me, coaching clients, they're like, you know, they feel like it's, "Okay, I'm not disciplined enough.

I'm not motivated enough to go out and work out. I'm not disciplined enough to have really good-" efficiency and workflow, and that's why I'm constantly overwhelmed and have all this work to do. And they're like, I, you know, like, how do we do that? And we have to take a step back and realize that we have built our life and career around these assumptions.

And what we never realized is that we're creating these assumptions that it has to be this way. Now granted, yes, maybe we wanna feel better, we wanna start working out, we wanna eat better. That is fine. But we've also assumed that is the problem. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough energy.

Yep, but it's a symptom, right? You see where I'm going with this.

[21:00]

So Now, to give those examples, the, the flip side of that is, okay, if someone tells me like, "I just need better time management," then the, the question that we start to ask ourselves is, okay why is staying late okay? Why is not having a lunch okay?

Those are the things that I ask. Like, where in our mind did we tell ourselves that that's how it is? And you might say okay, Amber that's fucking my job. I gotta finish this record by law, you know, within X number of hours, 24 hours, three days, whatever." Or, "I have to not go to lunch 'cause I have to finish this pet that I have to sedate, and if I don't, like, management's gonna be pissed at me."

It's like and we'll get into how we start to heal this too. But do you see where that's still coming off an assumption? Like, yeah, maybe management would be pissed at you, but again, we don't ever question it past that. Okay, well, why, like, why do we have this bigger problem? Or, why do you feel like you need to be more productive and to be able to, like, just squeeze a little more productivity out of your day?

My question I ask is why do you feel like you have to do it all yourself? And some people might say, "Well, no, I do have to do it all myself." I'm like, hold on. Again, this is a belief, and we're seeing the symptom. Another one is that, like I said before, that feeling like I need to exercise, I need to eat better.

Because when we don't do that, we feel guilty. Why do we feel guilty? Well, I know to be healthy I should be exercising, and I should be eating better. Okay. But why don't, can't you? Why I just don't have enough time? Well, do you not have enough time because you've put everyone else first, and this isn't a priority for you?

And I'm not saying that in a bad way. I'm just saying it's not a priority because everything else is a priority.

[23:00]

So again, we're digging a little bit deeper, and also some of that comes from society, right? Like, I don't know, all the fucking shit you see on social media. Oh, cool. Yeah, so I'm just gonna be a brain surgeon, work 80 hours a week work out an hour each day four to five times a week.

go home, take care of three pets, two kids, a partner. Oh, I like to crochet on the weekend. I own my own practice. What? No one does that. I know it looks like that on social media, but that is not reality. So we get in our mind that, oh, that fucking person did it, so I should be able to do that. You have no fucking clue what a train wreck that person could be inside, right?

Maybe they are doing all that, but they're not in a great relationship with their partner, or they're doing all that, but then they ne- never show up for their kids or, insert whatever. So that's where that External conditioning comes in where, mm, okay, I thought I had to do those things, then we guilt ourselves into it.

Or the thought of, okay, the symptom, hey, I wanna stop feeling guilty. Well, why do you feel like saying no makes you selfish? Well, probably some of society, and maybe somewhere a coworker or leadership or whomever made you feel that way because you saw maybe a cl- you know, a, a coworker set a boundary and then leadership, like, wasn't happy with it or whatever situation.

So all of this to say, the symptoms are what we experience and what we want to fix. However, when we get long-lasting change and real solid foundation, it starts with digging deeper. So why does this matter? You're like, "Okay, this sounds real cool, Parks, but, like, I just wanna have lunch tomorrow at work."

Okay. We're gonna roll it back a hot second, and then we're gonna go into the solution.

[25:00]

But first things first is: Why does this matter? Because our brains like to adapt to anything, good or bad. So if we are constantly seeing something as it's a repeated behavior, I'm constantly having to skip lunch because I get overbooked, or I constantly have to answer the receptionist questions every time I come out of an exam room and I'm exhausted.

So we automatically start to do these things more and more when we're either, I won't say forced to do it, but it just becomes like the cultural norm at practice, at practices. And I've seen that a lot in relief going to different practices. It's so interesting. Some veterinarians, like, will hop on the phone really quick and talk to a client, and some, and this is my take on it, some are really good at having their support team members be very empowered and coachable and can take a vast majority of those phone calls, which I think is so beautiful as far as efficiency goes.

But also, I know that a lot of support team members like to have that autonomy, and they like to be like an integral part of the team. I won't go into that, but anyway.

[26:00]

So all of that to say Whatever we see as something that is a repeated behavior, especially if we're seeing it around our environment, it becomes a belief.

It becomes like, "Oh, this is how things are," which is very interesting because, again, in going to many different practices, I see people that haven't worked at very many, if any, other practices, and so, and I'm sure you have maybe seen this in yourself or other people, they... Whatever they see, especially, like, when you're first getting into maybe veterinary medicine, the first place you work at, you're like, "Pff, this is how it's all done."

And then you go to another practice and you're like, "Whoa, holy shit, either this is a lot better or a lot worse," for the most part, right? Like, I'm sure there's things that people have... And I- gosh, I've heard stories, right? They're like, "I just thought this was how it was," and then they go to another practice and they're horrified that's how they saw it being done for five years when they worked there.

[27:00]

So what I'm saying is it's not always facts. It's just a repeated behavior, and what happens is that when our brains are like, "Okay, repeated behavior," we keep doing this over and over again, even if it's not healthy or we don't like it. So even if we skip lunch, and we're fucking hungry, and this is awful, or we always hop on the phone to talk to any client that calls about any little fucking thing on their pet, even if we haven't seen them in eight months, because that's just what we do.

So these behaviors, though, become beliefs, and our brains, the neuroscience behind that is our brain is always looking for shortcuts and ways to keep things moving faster, more streamlined, and less... more efficient and less chaotic.

[28:00]

So again, even if it's not healthy or helpful. So they're looking for, it's looking for shortcuts, and it's so fucking true when we're burnt out or under chronic stress because what happens is we don't have that bandwidth to say, "Well, geez, I don't wanna hop on that phone and talk to Mrs.

Crazy Lady. I don't have time to do that." And then we're conjuring up like how's that gonna go? What am I gonna say? Is my manager gonna catch wind of this and not be happy? What if this client calls back?" Like, all of that has energy and expends mental and emotional bandwidth, which we don't have extra of.

So that is why the more we do it- The more it becomes just a habit, and it feels so heavy and so big, and like this big ordeal if we just somehow wanna push back or not partake in that belief. And so that's what happens, is a lot of times we're like, "Okay, half of me is like absolutely fucking not. The other half is like, well, this is just how it is.

We just do it." And it's because it does feel that heavy and that challenging to now like, "Well, no, I'm not gonna do that today," and how is that gonna go down? No, we- we're just trying to fucking get through the day. So there is neuroscience behind it because our brain is trying to create those shortcuts again, even if they're not helpful or and they are harmful, and it's really just, again, making it as efficient as possible.

[29:30]

But the problem with that is it keeps us in very black or white thinking. So we're like that, that's just how it is. I can't change that." And we then feel powerless. We can feel very stuck. We can feel very disempowered. Like, yeah, you can do that at your practice. You can say that to management, but I can't do that at my practice.

And we believe it because everything around us is telling us that, no, you can't do that. So what I'm saying is to look at a situation or challenge that you're dealing with may not, as much as it feels and looks like, nope, this is just how it is, that may not be fully true.

 

[30:00]

So how do we fix it? Oh, glad you asked.

Okay, number one is we have to really zoom out. So now that you're listening to this episode, you're like, "Okay, this is interesting. Maybe I... Okay, she might be onto something here." So what I would offer to you is next time you have a situation that you feel resentful. Resentful is a big one because a lot of times resentment breeds, I guess would be a word, breeds when we have an expectation or something we want and how something actually happens and the reality.

And the further those things are from each other, the bigger resentment. So Maybe it's not a big deal the first time, but the more times that, hey, receptionist just added on that walk-in, oh, that emergency, oh, that cat that can't pee 10 minutes before you close. Once it's like, "Oh, fuck," and it keeps happening again, you get more and more pissed because you can see that there's a bigger disconnect.

[31:00]

So the first step is we have to recognize when this happens. So yes, resentment is a good one if that comes to mind, like, "Ugh, this is fucking pissing me off," and you're stewing about it, that's probably a good opportunity to be like, "Okay maybe this isn't fully true." Just come on this, with this little, trek with me.

All right? So maybe it's not true. You don't even have to be convinced that it isn't true. Just, just ask yourself, "Hey, maybe this isn't true." So the next thing is to now put this into play. So this week or in the next coming days, ask yourself where in your life, could be at home, could be at work, doesn't matter, have you said things like, "Oh, I have to do X, Y, and Z," or, "I should do X, Y, and Z."

[32:00]

So maybe, "Ugh, I have to call that owner back. She was pissed when I waited an extra day to call her back," or, "I should go help my boss with this, farm call even though, you know, he... Maybe he helped me last time, and now I'm just gonna, I'll ha- I feel like I should do that. I should help him." Okay. Or, "I can't leave early.

I have to finish these records," which I get it. Okay. Hang with me here. So the question to ask yourself, too, is, like another thing is, "Well, it's just part of the job." Well, that's not really a great excuse. Okay? Now, again- Is this true? This is the first step. Is that actually true? Do you have to go on that farm call with your boss?

Was it required? And if it was, I'd even question that. Do you have to call that client back? Well, yeah, 'cause if I don't, if I wait another day, she bitched last time. Okay. But do you really have to? You are saying you have to because you are avoiding potentially an area where it could be uncomfortable, there's a potential for conflict, I might disappoint someone.

[33:00]

So do you see where it's not fully true, but we tell ourselves because there's a potential outcome that we're trying to avoid 'cause it feels really fucking uncomfortable? So those are like the, this is like the bigger thing, right? We're not just looking at the symptoms. It's like why are we doing these things?

Why do we tell ourselves we have to? Why are we feeling like it all has to lay on our shoulders? Now, the next part is, so number one we recognize, number two start looking at where in your life are you kinda telling yourself these things, and the third part is when you do find a scenario, ask yourself, "Okay, wait a minute.

Is this objectively true?" Do I know that this is really true? Do I have to go on that farm call with my boss? He didn't really ask me, but maybe he said some backhanded compliment, you know, and you're like, "Well, I feel like I should." Okay, but is it fucking true? Like you have to go on this farm call or I'm gonna fire you, right?

[34:00]

Like that would be different. And then where did you learn this? Like where did you learn that, oh, I have to call this client back or she's gonna be pissed. Maybe you learned it from leadership. Maybe management was like, "Nope, we don't do that. We see, we call back every client when they want." Maybe you see every fucking urgent care walk-in situation that isn't really like actively dying.

So where did, where do we learn this? And is this actually helping or is it hurting me? Not anyone else, not the pet. That's the difference. We cannot help pets until we put ourselves first, and I fully believe that, well, number one, 'cause I've tried it the other way. It doesn't really work that great 'cause you don't last and you burn out.

But number two, when you can show up and have boundaries, you can show up, when you do show up, 110% for your patients, for your team, your colleagues, pet owners, all, all the things, right?

[35:00]

So is it helping or hurting? Like really ask yourself that. And then, okay, if your best friend was in this scenario that is in veterinary medicine, would you say, "Yeah.

Yep, you should do that thing"? No. A lot of times we would give them a different perspective, or we would say, "You don't have to..." Like, right? Like we're usually like their cheerleaders. We're not so good with ourselves. The self-compassion isn't always the best. But with a friend, what would we actually tell them?

[36:00]

So we have to zoom out, and this whole episode, putting this all together, is essentially where have these assumptions then led to us having beliefs about scenarios, and they're not necessarily facts, although the tricky part is they can very much feel like facts. And it's everywhere. It's in our work, it's in our personal life, it's in society in general.

So I wanted to bring this to your attention because, again, I ... First of all, I thought it was funny with the spy story, okay? They don't work on Sundays. All right. So I was like, "Oh my God. No one in vet med has an excuse at this point." But sure, we obviously wanna help pets, but like this particular country was like, "All right.

People might die, but like we're off on Sunday." So I just want you to like take a half a second and see the perspective of that. So- If a lot of times we can get someone like, "Oh, just don't worry about it, blah, blah, blah," and they're not in vet med, and you're like, "Dude, you don't fucking get it." Okay, well, this was, like, an issue of national security, and they were like, "We don't work on Sunday."

So just remember that, number one.

[37:00]

Number two, remember that these are... The things that we're feeling are the symptoms. There's deeper-rooted challenges here, which some people are like, "Oh, fuck, I don't give a shit about that. I just wanna, like, have some time to get back in shape, eat better, hang out with my dog."

Cool. Love that for you, and we can get there, but the problem is if it's a productivity hack or we're not doing the deeper work, it literally will fail 100% of the time. I can guarantee you that. So we might as well do that deeper work so that way we can get that long-lasting essentially healing, but also then, like, insulating ourselves from going back into burnout.

This is how we do it. We get to the, the deeper-rooted stuff and not just taking a bubble bath, a long weekend, and a Celsius and hopping back in on it on Monday morning, right? That ain't gonna do it. So I want you to kinda, like, just start thinking in your day today, like, oh, like, how m- how many times do we tell ourselves things that aren't truly facts?

[38:00]

They're beliefs, and they can very much feel like facts, but It's not that you're doing anything wrong, it's your brain is literally like, "Dude, just give me like the CliffsNotes version. Give me the, the ChatGPT version of what's going on so I can then keep moving forward." We're not really trying to process the situations in real time because we don't have the mental, physical, and emotion capacity to do that.

So I offer to you with that, this is the exact work that I do with my coaching clients, because again, I'm not getting people in and like, "Hey, here's this productivity hack," blah, blah, blah. Like you can Google that shit. But it's also why it doesn't work, because if it was that simple, we would all do it. It is much more nuanced, convoluted, throw in the idea of veterinary medicine and all the stuff that comes with that, and that is why, A, I feel so strongly about this, but B, why I think part of this is because you're hearing and learning from someone who is in the profession, who is a veterinarian.

[39:00]

I've been in the profession for over 25 years. I get it, and you don't have to spend half the time trying to explain it to me. I get it. But what I want you to know is that that deeper work, you absolutely can do it, and that's what I help you with. These are the things that you don't have to figure this out on your own.

You don't have to be like, "Ugh, I don't know if I can do it." I give you that roadmap and take you step by step to slowly get you... And I, I say slowly 'cause it's not like, "Hey, go tell your boss to fuck off." No. We're going in a stepwise process so that it doesn't feel so uncomfortable and jarring to your nervous system, and that's where we get lasting change.

[40:00]

So if you're listening to this and you're like, "Yeah, this is like I... Now I'm curious," I absolutely invite you to apply for a complimentary burnout breakthrough session with me. This is a 45-minute Zoom session where we get on the session, I wanna learn about what you're experiencing, like really where you wanna be, and the challenges that you're dealing with.

And it's okay if where you wanna be is to eat better, exercise better, to not feel overwhelmed. That's okay. That's my job to give you that roadmap. I wanna know how you're feeling, what are those symptoms, and in that call I will be able to help you identify, okay, here's the bigger rooted common themes and how potentially coaching can help you.

So if I do feel like one of my coaching programs would be a good fit, we can talk about that. If not, if it's not a mutual fit, then I will absolutely share people and/or resources that would be. So apply for a complimentary Burnout Breakthrough session. You can grab the link in the show notes. You can DM me on Instagram.

My handle is @dr.amberparks, A-M-B-E-R P-A-R-K-S. And you can DM me the word apply, A-P-P-L-Y, or grab the link or excuse me, grab the application on my website at

[41:00]

thestressandburnoutcoach.com/application. And I can't wait to hear from you guys. I know you can do this stuff. You don't have to know all the steps. You just have to know, number one, I'm ready for change, like really ready, and number two I'm, I just want you to tell me what do I need to do to get to that point.

And all the stuff in between is up to me. So I hope this was super helpful for you guys. After you take a listen, and if you checked out any of my other episodes, I would love it if you could leave a five-star review on Spotify or Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. This just helps other veterinary professionals find this podcast as well as the episodes, and hopefully they get out as much from the episodes that you have.

So I'm greatly, greatly appreciate it, and I thank you guys for listening. I will see you on the next episode.