Episode 76:

[00:01-00:03] Making Vet Med Less Stressful: The Client Story

All right. Welcome back to another episode of Stop the Burnout. So last week, we were talking, it was the first part of our four-part miniseries, and I wanted to share every week a client success story of mine, so a veterinary coaching client that I've worked with, and the biggest lessons that came from their journey, the strategy that we used, and the breakthrough that came with that so that you guys can actually listen to it and start doing it tomorrow at work to help you as well.
So last week, if you haven't listened to that episode, go ahead and listen because these are just going to... like each episode is gonna stack on each other. And last week we talked about how it feels when everyone wants something from you. So we are kinda talking through the lens of a veterinarian and, but many of this is applicable to, [00:02:00] oh gosh, it c- is even applicable to life outside of work.
So talking about how everyone wants something from you, and the other part of that piece is not only do you feel like you're pulled in a bunch of different directions, but the story I'm gonna share today is how we can, as veterinarians, and again, this can be applicable to anyone in and outside of work, but I'm going to focus strictly on veterinarians because this is my coaching client and this was her, specific experience.
But essentially, she came to me and she's like, "You know, I'm just obviously very stressed at work. It's always, like, go, go. I feel like what we talked about last week, I feel like I'm pulled in a bunch of different directions." But the more we kind of pulled things away and pulled things apart and I asked her questions, she's like, I just, I really can't trust the support team to get things done."

[00:03-00:08] When Lack of Accountability Creates More Work

Now, side [00:03:00] note, this is her experience, right? So I've worked at, God, over, I don't know, 30 veterinary hospitals ov- actually, probably more than that. I've been in vet med for over 25 years. I have seen the gamut, right, of it doesn't even matter what position you're in. You could be the practice owner. You could be the assistant, the client service representative.
I've seen people that are amazing go-getters, and I've seen people that, in any one of those positions, are not very motivated or helpful or d- give two shits, honestly. So this is nothing to say about support team members, 'cause I've worked with some amazing veterinary technicians that you've heard me say before have saved my ass more times than I care to count.
So this isn't, like, beating up on techs. That's not what I want to do here. But I think what happens, and you'll see in her story, is that it's not that they don't know, it's that they aren't [00:04:00] being held accountable, and that's a higher up problem. But she's an associate, so sh- she's, like, coming to me like, "I can't do anything about that."
I'm like, "Oh yes you can. And we're gonna talk about it." So I want to, first of all, give you some awareness that things that feel like they are not in your control are very much in your control. It just can be really challenging to see all those options and all those possibilities when you are, are stressed and you're fucking busy and you're, not really being able to look at things with a wide angle lens because you're just trying to get through the day.
So this was a veterinarian. She worked at a... This was not corporate-owned practice. And I do think, you know, I've seen this in corporate, I've seen it in private practice. I think all these examples that I give you in this miniseries are applicable to both corporate and private, and I, I don't... You know, everyone's like, "Oh, [00:05:00] private is better than corporate," and maybe that is the case, but I have seen private practices that weren't very well-managed, and I've seen corporate practices that were not very well-managed, and the workflow was shit.
So I, I don't think it's specific to one or another, but this, again, was just her experience. So it was non-corporate owned, and she would kind of walk me through her day, and I would ask her questions, and she's like, "Well, it just feels like the techs really aren't motivated." I'm like, "Okay." So keep in mind, these were credentialed technicians.
These weren't on-the-job trained. These were credentialed, went to school, took the test, passed technicians. So whether or not, we can all get a degree and get our certification and pass a test, yes, a lot of times the differentiating factor, right, is if, do we have experience? And not all technicians, like veterinarians, right, if we're newer doctors coming out, we don't all have that experience.
However, [00:06:00] the background on this is that I think the management and owners of this practice weren't holding people accountable, and so you get folks that they are credentialed and they know these things, but there's no accountability for them to have to continually meet a certain standard. And the funny thing about that is when we were talking, she's like, you know, a lot of times, you know, she's worked at other practices and she's like, "I know they know this stuff, but they're not having to be held accountable."
But then you bring someone in that is another credentialed technician, and they're like used to doing all this stuff, and they see that everyone else isn't doing it, and they're gonna do one of two things. They're either gonna say, "Oh, sweet, I don't have to do that much," and kind of lay rest on their laurels, if you will.
Okay. Or they're gonna say, "This is boring. I don't wanna be here," and they leave. So it becomes... This [00:07:00] is why it's so important for the culture of a practice. It really does start with what we allow to be acceptable and accountable. And I'm not talking like yelling at people and being a hard-ass, but there are a lot of people and a lot of good technicians that don't wanna stay in practices because they're not allowed to do the things they went to school for, you know, years and, and have experience doing.
So I want you to keep that in mind. And there was another episode, I can't remember which one it was, it was fairly recent in the last month or so, where there was an AHA study done, and one of the top one or two, it's either the first or second reason that veterinary technicians... And it was actually over pay, but it was above pay, I should say.
They are more likely to leave a job if they are not being fully utilized to their capacity. So just keep that in mind. Okay, side note. That was an aside.

[00:08-00:10] Doing Two Jobs and Constantly Checking on Your Team

Okay, so s- so it's non-corporate owned. She's like, "They don't seem very motivated," [00:08:00] and again, these are credentialed. I'm like, "Okay, tell me a little bit more about that," and she's like, "Well, I'll come out of exam room.
I'm like, 'Hey, I need, X-rays and blood work on this pet,' and my next appointment's there, so I'm like, 'Here's the thing. I need these things,' and then I go on to my next appointment, and I come out, and half the time it's not done. No one knows who was supposed to do it. No one... You know, everyone's kind of pointing fingers."
And she's like, "So what I've ended up doing is having to either help, like do the X-ray or the blood work," and I'm like cringing because what did I just say? Techs wanna be utilized, number one. Number two, you're also now doing two people's jobs. You're trying to be a veterinarian and also a support team member.
So obviously that's gonna make your day more stressful and less time. So I'm like, "Okay. All right. Now what what happens in that case, the one that you mentioned where X-rays, blood work? Maybe they just got blood work but no X-rays," and it [00:09:00] wasn't like, they're not sitting back there doing nothing, but also there's no urgency to get things done.
And I'm like, "Tell me about your manager." She's like the manager is a little more laid back, and they don't really get involved in the workflow." And I'm like, "Okay. Well, that's a problem," because the best practices I've seen have a really good workflow, and it's not a manager being a hard ass. It's the manager overseeing, like, all the moving parts, and your support team can say, "Hey, I need to take blood work and X-rays on this pet, but I also have this other room here.
What do I do?" That is like a tiny sliver of how to best use your manager, and that comes with practice, and there has to be a lot of exposure, you know, of, of how to do that. There's a lot of nuance to it, but anyway. So for th- the sake of this podcast episode so it's not three hours long, we're just gonna focus on, how do we stop...

[00:10-00:14] The Fear Behind Micromanaging and Overfunctioning

So essentially what we talked about with [00:10:00] my veterinary coaching client here was, "Okay, we need to stop. We need to break this apart, right?" 'Cause you can't keep checking on things and doing everyone's work while also trying to, go in and be a veterinarian. And you're in exam rooms, right? So you don't know necessarily what's going on while you're in there.
You can't be in two places at once. So she's like, "Yeah, I just always have to, like, keep checking on them. I'll come out of a room, 'Did you guys get it done? How did it go? Oh, you didn't. Okay, let me get you help.'" I'm like, "Okay. All right. I see where you're coming from." I'm like, "Before we jump into the tactical stuff," because again, I can tell you all the things, you can listen to this podcast episode, you can read a book, but when it comes to going to work and putting this into play tomorrow, the biggest thing that's gonna stop you, me, and everyone else is the thoughts that come into our brain that tell us that we couldn't, shouldn't, or should not be doing this, these things.
And by these things, I mean holding people [00:11:00] accountable. So I'm like, "Okay, well, tell me a little bit first before we get into that, what are you worried would happen if you don't keep checking on them?" And she's like, "Well, like, clients are gonna..." It's happened. She's like, "Clients get upset 'cause they're waiting, and then maybe the technician gets frustrated because they don't have anyone to help them, and They, you know, I- it comes back on me.
The manager's, riding my ass of "Why is this taking so long?" I'm like, "Okay, totally get it. I've been there before. So what part about that, though," I asked her, "is, scary? What part? No- none of those things you just described are... You know, no one wants to experience those, but what part is, scary?"
So we pulled it apart, and she's like, "You know, it's really I don't want to have to face a client that's upset." I'm like, "Okay." "And I don't want people to think my manager to think I'm not doing my job." And I'm like, "All right." We are really heavy on reviews, so I don't wanna get a [00:12:00] bad review."
I'm like, "Okay." So really, it's the fear of conflict, the fear of disappointing people, fear of getting a bad review, right? So you can even put, humiliation in that category. And she's also like, "I also feel worried that the techs, if I start really telling them stuff, they're gonna think I'm bossy."
And I'm like, "Okay." But in our conversation, she also described that... She's like, "I'll b- just be really short with the techs. I get frustrated. They n- I'm, like, snippy. They know I'm pissed." So I said to her, "Okay, well, just to reflect back to you, the techs already think you're snippy and being short with them, so that's not great either, right?
So they already think that, so let's just take that off the table. You're worried they're gonna think you're bossy? Well, they already have apparently maybe an opinion about you, right? Like, just if we put it out there." And she's like, "Oh, that's true, yeah." I'm like, "Okay, what do [00:13:00] you want to happen, or what have you tried in this situation, to remedy?"
And she's like, "Well, I really, I just hope they would just start doing stuff without me having to ask, and they'll just start doing this on their own and, coming and telling me when things are done." I'm like, "Okay that... I don't think you're asking the world, right? I think that's appropriate."
And I said, you know, "What, again, what are you doing now to try and make that happen?" And she's like, "Well, again, I'm kind of just riding their ass, and I'm always checking on them, but I'm getting frustrated." I'm like, "Okay. So the disconnect that I'm seeing is that you keep checking on them and you're riding their ass, and you're hoping that just one day they'll just start doing things.
Have you asked them and put them in a position where that is their responsibility?" She's like I thought it was their responsibility." I'm like, "Okay." This is where things [00:14:00] get a little gray zone, because if it's not well-defined, it's not defined. And I'll just say that, that, that's, like, for anything in life.

[00:14-00:15] Choosing Temporary Discomfort to Create Less Stress

So we talked about, all right, how do we move through this? Like, what are the tactical things you can start doing tomorrow? And I kind of reflected back to her as well. I said, "I know that some of this can feel uncomfortable, and we don't want clients to wait, and I don't want people to feel like- They, you know, like, "I don't want that, that discomfort."
That was really a fear. It came up again for her. And I said, "Well, that's uncomfortable, right? The fear of that is uncomfortable. The fear that that might happen is uncomfortable, but what you're in right now, and the day that you're living, when you get to work and you know like, 'Oh, fuck, I'm gonna have to like, put on roller skates today, 'cause I'm just gonna be flying around.'"
She's like, "Yeah." I'm like, "Is that [00:15:00] comfortable?"

[00:15-00:16] Temporary Discomfort Can Lead to a Better Workday

[00:15:00] comfortable?" She's like, "Well, no." I'm like, "So here's how... Here's one way to look at this. Neither of these situations are comfortable, but at least one of these situations will be a temporary discomfort to get us to a better place. Whereas where you're at right now, the more we keep doing the same thing and it's not working, it's uncomfortable.
So it's kind of like that means to the end." And she's like, "Oh, yes, I didn't even think of that. Yeah, I... Yeah, that makes a lot of sense." And if it's something where this isn't gonna be forever and ever going forward, that fear of disappointment, the fear of clients being upset, then that makes a lot more sense.

[00:16-00:19] Tell Them What You Need Instead of Asking

Okay, so how do we do it? Well, number one, I told her, I'm like, "It's really important," and these are like, they don't seem like a big deal, but they will make a big difference when it comes to moving and getting [00:16:00] change. And I will talk to you at the end here, too, if you're not getting the results you want, what we do next, okay?
But first and foremost, I said, "You have to tell them. Don't ask." So I had asked her specifically, "What are the things that you say?" She's like I'll say, 'Hey the X-rays for Sammy, you know, need to get done, and this blood work. So can you get those done?'" I'm like, "Okay." So when we ask, there's an option to not do it, right?
And I, I'm not saying like these people are, are doing CPR and you're like, "Can you take those X-rays?" Right? Like, this is use your brain, okay? We know. But when we're a lot more straightforward, and it's not a question, which- And you've heard some of my other podcast episodes, I'm talking about boundaries.
It's not to ask for the boundary, we just state it and ask for what you need. Because when we ask a question, it's up for interpretation, it's [00:17:00] up for discussion. It's not really like, "This is the thing I need right now." So I said, "I want you to think in your head, maybe on your drive to work tomorrow, think of some of the scenarios that you've dealt with recently and how you would verbally say it different."
In other words, it can sound something like, "Hey, I need X-rays done on Sammy by 11:00 AM," or before I come out of, you know, when I come out of the next exam room, I'm going into an exam room right now, can you have that blood work drawn and running by the time I get out of this exam room? It'll probably take me 15 minutes.
So that is much more like, "This is a thing I need. This is the timeframe that I need it." So when we hear things that are not well-defined, they sometimes seem like a suggestion. They don't take priority for us. We're not really sure, did they ask someone else to do it? But maybe that other person can't do it, so if [00:18:00] I have time, I, I'm able to do it.
Like, do you see where it is like we're not wrong in what we're doing, we're just like 5% off. And when we're 5% off though, and things don't get done and accomplished and the outcome we want, then we get frustrated. So I said, "It's really a tell them, it's a don't ask." So if you've done any personal development, they always tell you like the I need statements, because I had another coaching client and she's, would say something along the lines of, "You have to have this done, and this needs to be done, and this..."
I'm like, okay, when we like tell people, we're not really having a conversation. We're telling them and like making it feel like a one-way conversation. Whereas when you say, "I need," like there's psychology behind this, but I need, then you're asking for something that you need, and this other person is gonna help you.
And many times we wanna help people. So when we're like- You have to do this, make sure this is done. Like, we're [00:19:00] just giving people a list. Like, it just doesn't feel like a collaborative teamwork type of effort. It feels like we're just being told what to do. So there is psychology behind it. So the I need statements, you can never go wrong because whatever you need, no one can really argue 'cause they don't know what you need.
So if you're telling someone what you need, it is what it is, right? So number one, tell them, don't ask.

[00:19-00:21] Use Names, Eye Contact, and Specific Timeframes

Number two, like I mentioned in that example, get really specific. So what do I mean by this? One, use people's names. I have experienced both sides of this. I know when I was in private practice before I really, caught on to this is how you should do things, I would say, "Hey, do you think you could, run that ear cytology on King?"
The golden retriever. And I'm kind of saying it in the treatment room as a general thing. So what is happening? No one's taking ownership of that because no one knows if I'm talking to the person in the lab [00:20:00] area or the person doing a nail trim over there or my technician that's standing next to me.
And oddly enough, it probably wasn't my technician standing next to me, it was probably I was asking someone else. So use people's names because I am notorious, and if you have ADHD, I will hear you, but I'm not really registering what you're saying. But if you're saying my name, I'm now, again, psychology, cued into like, I'm gonna listen to what this person has to say.
And the two seconds it takes to give eye contact, so looking at someone and saying, "Hey Christine, I need you to run that ear cytology on King. I'm going into this exam room. I'll be out in about 10 minutes. Can you have those results by the time I come out?" And there is a question there, but I'm also telling you explicitly what I need.
So Christine might say, "Yep, no problem. Cool." Or c- maybe Christine's like, "Ugh, I got pulled to go into this exam room." Can so-and-so do it? Yeah, [00:21:00] sure, and then you go have that conversation with that person, right? Instead of me just saying it into the abyss of the treatment room, and then I am like, "Hopefully someone heard."
I go into an exam room, I come out, it's not done, I'm pissed, and Christine is nowhere to be found. Well, it's not that she... So in my mind, the fuck part about this , the mind fuck, is that in my mind I'm like, "Sh- she just blew me off. She said she was gonna do this, or she agreed, or I asked her to do this and now she didn't do it," when maybe she didn't even know I was talking to her, or she had every intention of doing it, but the other doctor pulled her into an exam room.
And then we create these stories in our mind that just piss us off more as the day goes. So being very specific, eye contact, using people's names.

[00:21-00:25] Specific Start Times Can Keep Workflow Moving

The other thing I love to do, I did this when I was in private practice doing surgeries, and we'd have whatever number of surgeries on the board, and I... and this takes a little more skill, like, as you do surgery more, you know what your timeframe of things, you know [00:22:00] what your team that you're working with, you know how quickly they can or can't, turn surgeries over.
So I would put on the board we're starting this patient at this time, this patient at this time. And sometimes I had the ability and enough team members to overlap, so I'd be finishing maybe a spay, I'm scrubbed out, my technician is recover- you know, recovering that patient, and my other team member is sedating a dental, and I'm just moving right on to the dental.
Like, when it works, it fucking works, and it's beautiful. And if you don't have team members that are that experienced, no worries. You can get to that point. But what I'm saying is, my team members, I could have gotten pulled to do a phone call, "Oh, so-and-so you saw yesterday," the owner's on the phone, the dog's still vomiting, and I'm like, "Hey, I know that they're gonna d- they're...
It's gonna take him, like, 10 minutes to recover this patient. They know that we're starting this next, inducing [00:23:00] this next patient at 11:00. It's 10:50. I'm gonna go hop on that phone," because I don't have to tell anyone, 'cause I've already told them and we already know what time that's starting. So I don't care if you go dig a 10-foot hole in 10 minutes, but as long as you're back here at 11:00 and we're sedating this patient, cool.
So using specific times, especially for the surgeries or drop-offs, is hugely important, because I know for s- for example, surgeries, if you are get... You know, they have to get surgery ready and, and, um, anesthesia machines and prep and all that, and blood work, and I don't care what you do or how you do it, as long as we start this one at this time.
And the cool part about that, I would obviously tell them, "Hey-" "Let's huddle for three minutes. We're gonna go through, you know, my surgery team. This is what we're starting. This is likely gonna be our next one. Maybe if I wasn't sure, depending on how things were gonna go, we might push this one to the third patient instead of the second.
Kinda just depends, but [00:24:00] let's plan on we're gonna start, first one's gonna be sedated at 8:45. I'm gonna go do a couple phone calls. Anyone have questions? 'Nope.' 'All right. I'm gonna be back there at 8:45 unless you tell me otherwise. We're s- we're in the process of sedating the patient at that time." And they're like, "Yep."
It worked well. The part is when it doesn't work well, which I will also talk about, then we like, "Okay, what went wrong?" But the great part about that is you don't have to keep going back and checking, "Is it done? Did you guys get the blood work? Where are you at? Are you ready to sedate the next one?"
Because the other thing, too, is depending on your support team, you know, there's a million things going on in a veterinary hospital. They might get pulled, "Hey, the client that you did a house call yesterday for sub-Q fluids is on the phone. They have a question." So obviously in their mind, I gotta take that phone call, but if they know, oh, I have to do, sedate a patient right at 8:45 with Dr.
Parks, they're gonna have a second thought of like, "Wait a minute, how am I gonna make this work?" Or, "I [00:25:00] have to go tell Dr. Parks I'm hopping on this important phone call." So it's not like ... 'Cause sometimes what would happen is all of a sudden it's now snowballed into like, where the fuck did the last hour go?
We haven't gotten our first patient on the table, and now we're panicking.

[00:25-00:27] Don’t Assume Your Team Knows the Plan

So that is super helpful. So my coaching client, I told her, I was like, use, use those times are hugely important, and another, like, good example I, she had kind of told me is like, "Oh, we had to sedate this patient," and I had to finish up the last appointment before lunch, and then we were gonna sedate it, like, around lunch.
But she didn't tell anyone, and then she comes out of her appointment. Her technician she's with discharges the patient she was just in and goes to lunch, and then she goes back to treatment. There's no one back there, which again, there, yeah, the management, there needs to be ... There's a lack of communication on several parts.
However I said to her, I was like did you tell them [00:26:00] that that was your plan?" She's like no, it was on the board." I'm like, "We can't assume," right? We all have a million things going on, especially support team members. If you're in a multi-doctor practice, sometimes they get pulled. Maybe it's a patient, they need another hand.
And so that's not always top of mind unless we, again, use their name, make eye contact, give them a timeframe. Because if that person just got told to go to lunch, they're gonna have at least a second thought to be like I can go to lunch, but this doctor's gonna be sedating this pet, and there's gonna be no one here to do it."
So get very specific.

[00:26-00:28] Ask “What Questions Do You Have?”

The last thing I like to do, and I told this veterinarian, I said, "I like to..." So we don't feel like we're just talking at people all day. Say what you need, timeframe, and then the thing you can say is what questions you have on that. Instead, and you can use this with clients too, instead of saying, "Do you have any questions?"
'Cause sometimes the idea of just asking questions feels [00:27:00] really uncomfortable, especially I know for myself, when I was, like, an assistant new to the profession, I wasn't... I was scared to ask the doctor questions. So instead of, like, "Do you have any questions?" "Nope." And then you're like, "I have a fucking thousand questions," we say, "What questions do you have?"
Okay, do you... Where do you wanna sedate this pet? Do you wanna do this in prep? Do we, are we sedating for X-rays, right? Like, we just open that floor up so it's a conversation. That's really the only question you should be asking instead of, like, "Can you do this thing for me?" So what questions do you have?
So number one, tell them, don't ask. Number two, get specific, names, eye contact, and then ask for that confirmation, "What questions do you have?" And this can be less than 45 seconds. It doesn't have to be this long, drawn-out thing. So she was like, "Okay, I think that, that feels doable."

[00:28-00:30] Start Small With Graded Exposure

I'm like, "All right. Well, let's talk about how and when do we do this," because [00:28:00] I shared with her, I was like, "I, you know, I don't want you to..."
The first thing I wouldn't do is I wouldn't use this concept with patient care. If you have a pet that's hospitalized, you're, you keep going back there and checking on it, which, you should, right? Especially depending on the ability of your support team members. But don't start doing something like this with patient care.
In other words- All right, you're gonna feed the cat that's hospitalized, and, you know, let me, let me know how things go, right? And then you f- forget 'cause the morning takes off and you go into see four appointments, and then all of a sudden you go back there, and I don't know, maybe the cat's got, like, a little bit of respiratory distress now and it's not eating, and you're like, "What the fuck?"
Patient care is not where to start with this. Let's start with the non-emergent things. So I think of tasks like X-rays, blood work, ear cytology, skin cytology, urine sample, lab processing. [00:29:00] So the thing of it is to go through the lens of if this doesn't get done, is it life-threatening? And if I don't know that there's a problem right now, is it life-threatening?
Actually life-threatening. That's one way to look at it. So I told her, I said, "Let's start with simple things." And there's... It's almost like habituation, but we call it the neuroscience behind it, is this graded exposure. So what we're doing, I told her, is we're gonna take smaller steps so that these are, like, less riskier changes that we do.
And so it's not like we're taking a huge leap that feels so uncomfortable and feels really risky that we probably won't do it again, even if it does go well. We're taking these smaller steps where if we do get pushback, it doesn't feel so big. And, like, again, if it was a patient, right, and you're like, "What the fuck?"
Like, you [00:30:00] didn't tell me that this pet is having trouble breathing for three hours.

[00:30-00:32] Building Confidence With Graded Exposure

[00:30:00] didn't tell me that this pet is having trouble breathing for three hours. So that, that is gonna jar your nervous system to be like, "I can't ever release the reins of control over all this." So we start with something small. It's a graded exposure, and what happens is when these little things that we do set up and go well over time continually go well, that is more evidence for our brain to say, "This is possible," it will be less jarring to this nervous system that is probably already in survival mode. And this is how I approach a lot of my coaching, because if it was something that was simple, then we would all have just done it by now, right? So for this particular veterinarian, she didn't feel comfortable letting shit hit the fan because that felt like a huge thing if things didn't get done.
I'm like, "Oh, understandable. We're gonna start smaller." And when we have, these changes that we need to make, but it feels like we're, like, white-knuckling and gripping onto these. [00:31:00] It is that graded exposure that feels more comfortable. This is what I'm teaching in my Say No Without the Guilt master class. That is Wednesday, September 23rd at 12:00 noon Eastern. I'm doing a live master class for veterinarians only, from start to finish, a simple framework of how you can start to say no without the guilt, but I do it through that graded exposure, so you are not like, "I have to ask for a raise tomorrow at work," and that doesn't feel really good.
It's a slow process, and that's where that graded exposure, A, gets us lasting change, and B, gets us to change without it feeling so uncomfortable, so we're more likely to do it. So if you're interested in that, you can visit my website, thestressandburnoutcoach.clom- com, excuse me, slash masterclass, or you can check the show notes, they should be in there, or DM me on Instagram at Dr.,
so D-R period, Amber Parks, and DM me the word [00:32:00] class, C-L-A-S-S, and I will send you the link to learn more and get signed up. And people are already signing up. I'm so excited. It's gonna be a, a great master class.

[00:32-00:37] What to Do When Delegation Fails

So okay, so that graded exposure is important. Now, let's shift gears a little bit. What if this fails?
And for my veterinary client, there were parts of this that did fail, and we discussed this beforehand. And I said, "Okay." So I gave her some words and how to approach this if it did happen, and then we really checked in with each other and, and kind of tweaked it as time went on. However, she's like... I'm like, "Well, what happened?"
She's like you know, we did have a sedated patient that and, you know, after I tried a couple times it, it was fine. Like, I gave them the timeframe, and we were able to do that, but I also had an appointment where I asked someone to do this skin cytology, and I was gonna go into the next room, did all the specifics like you said, name, eye contact, timeframe, [00:33:00] and I went into the exam room.
The other exam room came out, and it wasn't done." And I said, "Okay." So what we had talked about, I said, "This may happen." Now, if you are very specific and very clear, and this is a thing I need, and this is within someone's wheelhouse, then I told her before we even started any of this, I was like, "Sometimes we have a bigger problem.
So it can be a management issue, it could be the accountability piece that I talked about at the beginning." And I said, "Okay, so tell me a little bit about what happened." And she's like, "You know, I came out and asked, 'Hey, is this sample done?' And they're like, 'No.'" And so she's like, "I just was really frustrated, so I just made it faster.
I went and read it and came back." And I'm like, "Okay. Sometimes we gotta do that. I get it." Another way that... Because what happens in that situation is depending on the personality of the other person, they might be like, [00:34:00] "Ugh, the doctor was pissed, but whatever. I didn't have to do it. Moving on." Does- don't miss a beat.
Doesn't really affect their day. But now they know you will always bail them out. And again, use your discretion. I'm not saying you can't help someone out. That's not what I'm saying. But if you continually do that, there is no incentive for them to now do the work next time. And I said, "One thing I would do if this happens again is basically ask..."
Okay, so skin cytology didn't te- or, came, she comes out of the exam room. I'm like, I would say, "Hey, what are the results for the skin cytology?" Susan, right? Susan's like, "What skin cytology?" Or, "Oh, I didn't have time to get it done." You know, whatever has happened. And now you're like, "Fuck," because the client's been waiting the whole time, and you're finishing up another appointment.
So I told my coaching client, I said, "I would... We have to have some accountability here." Because when we do the things for other [00:35:00] people, again, there's no accountability. But they're, they don't have any skin in the game because at the end of the day, the task got done. Who cares, right? So in that scenario, I would say, "All right, Susan- And this is another way you can do it.
"All right, I'm finishing this room. I'm gonna go read the skin cytology, but can you go update the owner and let them know it's gonna be another 15 minutes?" Because probably what's gonna happen with that is that's not gonna feel like a great conversation. Maybe they don't care, but to have. In other words, it kind of a- allows them to have to take some responsibility, and if the client's pissed, then it ultimately
I'm not saying this is like a blame game, but if you ask someone to do something, they said they would and they didn't do it, now this doesn't feel great. This isn't a great conversation to have with a client. So they might think twice about next time of putting it back on your lap and saying, "Well, Dr.
So-and-So will just... She'll do it," whatever. [00:36:00] Except now they're like, "But then I have to go in and talk to the client," and that's not gonna feel great. Or you're like, "I'm fucking slammed. I can't read that skin cytology. My... I have two other appointments here. There's a pet here that's an emergency I need to go look at.
Can you pop your head in with the owner, tell them it's gonna be another 15 minutes, and then go read that skin cytology?" So, like, they're still having to do the work, and we're still right back at square one. So again, it's having them be accountable because now they still have to do the work, and they still have to potentially face maybe a client that isn't happy.
And I'm not saying to just pass the buck, right? Because as a veterinarian, we can be in the same position if we said that we would do something, we didn't do it, and now we have to go have an uncomfortable conversation. But you see where There's some buy-in of, "Maybe I don't wanna just skip out next time and assume someone's gonna do this for me because it now is still landing back on my lap."
So if all else fails and Susan still doesn't do that shit, then it's a bigger [00:37:00] conversation to have, which is kind of going beyond the, the realm of this podcast episode, but then it shines a light on what is the bigger issue here

[00:37-00:40] When the Real Problem Is Management or Practice Culture

So essentially you are saying, "Okay, I'm asking for what I need. It's within this person's wheelhouse, their ability, their job description, and it's not getting done So what we ultimately, many times I see, myself included, and I've done this, is that we just, right, we're gonna go take the X-ray, read the skin cytology, do whatever, get pissed, be short on time, rush into our next appointment, spend an hour or two after your shift and you're still doing records, and you're pissed.
We're continuing to enable that behavior. So if Susan... sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do in the moment. So maybe you're reading the cytology and moving on, but then you're gonna have a conversation with management, and then it's bringing up to, like... And again, there's a whole [00:38:00] technique on it, but, "Hey, you know, I asked this person to do X, Y, and Z," and you, you give the specifics, and it didn't get done.
Because if it's, like, always the same person, then maybe this person is the challenge. Or if it's, and I've seen this too with some other coaching clients, where it isn't just this one support team member, it's just the culture of the practice, but we bring it, the awareness, because what ultimately I've seen is that, not in this case, but I've had veterinarians who are like, "Well, now management's breathing down my neck, and I'm just gonna get it done.
And every time I bring it up to them, they just don't act like it's a big deal." I'm like, "Because no one's feeling the pain and the pressure of it not being done, because that comes back to you, and then you end up doing it. So at the end of the day, they're like, 'But the thing got done. Who cares?'" So there's ways to approach that and not from a, "Oh my God, this technician sucks.
I..." Whatever. That's [00:39:00] not gonna work for you. It is having a specific time, conversation, and approach with management to address that. And again, I use the word technician. It could be anyone. In- insert, maybe it's a colleague and another veterinarian you can insert into that sentence. But essentially, it brings to light the rate limiting step or the problem here, right?
So for my coaching client, it wasn't that she was necessarily... She was enabling, right? But it's because the culture and the lack of accountability for the support team members, the other doctors weren't necessarily upset, and they were just rolling with the punches. They would enable them. They would go see and do cytologies and lab work and, like, it was no big deal.
So the techs were like, "Well, why is she asking us to do that?" That is the primary problem. That's what you had to dig into.

[00:40-00:43] Sometimes You Have to Let Shit Hit the Fan

So [00:40:00] ultimately, a- as I always have said is sometimes we have to let shit hit the fan, and in this case we did, but she's like, "It was great," because it brought light to what was going on.
She's like, "I had time to go and write some records while they did technician..." You know, their tasks that they are able to do, and I had more time back in my day, and I'm not spent even, like, days off spending hours doing records. So all that to say, you know, the breakthrough is, And I kinda reflected back after things were working to her to say, when we get frustrated because we hope that someone just wakes up tomorrow, right?
We're kind of assuming, and you, you think it would be obvious, but that they should know what they're supposed to do. There are a lot of technicians that are really good at this, but also, if they've never been trained that way, or the other maybe doctors don't use them in that way, to have your technicians to almost be one step ahead of you and to know what [00:41:00] you're gonna need and be proactive, that's phenomenal.
But we can't get to that place unless they have very specific directions on what you do need. So we can't get frustrated if we haven't really specifically told them in a lot of detail and given them the opportunity to do that for, for their job essentially. So it, yeah, I, I think for her it absolutely, it worked.
It brought to light, hey, there's a bigger problem here, right? And it's not necessarily that they can't do it, 'cause again, these are credentialed technicians. It's that someone always bails them out. So in this example, the biggest thing that really kept her from going ahead, because one, her mind and her thought process was that, "Well, if I just keep-" telling them or asking them to do it, then one day they'll do it.
I'm like, "That's not really how it works." So one, we kinda had to flip that around, and there's a specific way to do it. And two, we have to get over [00:42:00] that fear of basically, like, dropping the ball because it is gonna happen, but that's how we know that's the things that need to actually get done and have to bring our attention to.
Because again, at the end of the day, if we're doing it all, then there is no incentive for anyone else to be like, "Well, I'm so sorry that your support team member didn't help you, but, we got through the day." There is no issue. But maybe for a manager, if they have to deal with an upset client, now they're like, "Well, why did this happen?"
As a doctor, you're like, "I went into this room. I gave my tech X, Y, and Z directions. It didn't get done," right? So instead of someone's gonna feel the discomfort, and that's gonna want to, that is going to be the catalyst to get things remedied for the most part. And I'm, that's why I wanna give you these specific examples because there's a lot of nuance to it.
I know every practice is a little bit different, but I really hope that you see that you can do these things, and it's, the biggest piece is that graded [00:43:00] exposure. We start with little things. We don't start with, "I'm upset they don't, take care of patient care." We're not gonna f- get that into the mix yet.

[00:43-00:45] Setting Boundaries Around Your Time and Energy

We have to start small. And yeah, maybe there might be an upset client, or your team member is upset because now they have to do this thing where you're like, "Well, great. Go talk to the owner and tell them it's gonna be another 15 minutes," and they're pissed. Okay, great. Well n- now it's shedding light on what the, the rate-limiting step is, and that you can start taking these changes and start these literally tomorrow.
So that graded exposure, like I mentioned before, is a great example of how we set boundaries around our time, our energy, instead of doing everything for everyone because we're doing it out of fear 'cause we don't want to upset other people, but ultimately we're putting ourselves last.
So it is setting an energetic boundary, like your energy, your capacity, and a time boundary [00:44:00] around what you need. You guys just got, like, a tiny taste, but I'm doing a live workshop, a masterclass called Say No Without the Guilt for Veterinarians. It is Wednesday, September twenty-third at noontime Eastern on Zoom, and you will have access.
Anyone that is signed up, you will get replay access, so you can listen to it if you have to work, but you're like, "I really wanna be in on that." I really encourage you to try and be there live 'cause I'm gonna walk you through a, a simple framework that you can use time and time again of how to set boundaries. Around your time, how to set boundaries around anything, whether it's clients, support team members, fuck, even in your personal life. It's the same framework. I'm literally gonna walk you through. You won't have homework to do after the class because we're gonna do it there in the moment. With my guidance, you're gonna be able to create how you need to set these boundaries so that you can just start doing it and doing it in a way that feels good and without the guilt. [00:45:00]

[00:45-End] Masterclass Details and Episode Closing

So again, if you're interested in that, grab the link in the show notes. You can also go to thestressandburnoutcoach.com.
So I don't know why I can't say com. Com, C-O-M, slash masterclass. Get the info there. On Instagram, @dr.amberparks, and you can DM me the word class, C-L-A-S-S. And last but not least, I hope this episode was helpful for you. If it was, I'd love it if you give a five-star raide- rating and follow us. That helps other veterinary professionals find the podcast episode.
And also, please share this episode with your vet med bestie 'cause you know it's gonna help them. All right, guys, thank you so much. I will see you on the next episode.