Episode 77:

[00:00:00–00:01:00] When the Schedule Becomes Too Much 

This scenario is probably way too familiar. Your schedule's full,
then somehow more things get added on, walk-ins come in. Before you know it,
it's jam-packed, and it's 1:00 PM. You haven't had lunch. You can't see the light
at the end of the tunnel, and you already know there's going to be hours of work
for you to do after your shift ends.

So you push through, you're exhausted, you feel like you're pulled in a hundred
different directions, and by the time you finally leave work after your shift, you
think, "You know what? I'm definitely gonna say something tomorrow because
that was ridiculous." Except you either don't come in the next time, and the
whole cycle repeats again, and you get frustrated all over again, or you do say
something, and it's fallen on deaf ears, and nothing changes.

So if either of those scenarios are familiar or both, you're gonna wanna listen to
this episode. Come on in

Welcome to Stop the Burnout, a podcast for veterinary professionals who love
medicine but are exhausted by the people pressure, expectations, and the
constant mental load that comes with it. If you've ever thought, "I shouldn't feel
this drained [00:01:00] doing something I care about," you're not alone, and
you're definitely not broken.

[00:01:00–00:02:00] Breaking Stress and Burnout Patterns

I'm Dr. Amber Parks, a veterinarian turned stress and burnout coach, and here
we talk about the stuff that no one taught us, like how to actually break the
stress and burnout patterns once and for all, and how to stay in this profession
without losing yourself. You won't find bubble bath, toxic positivity, or self-care fluff pretending to be the solution here.

Let's get into it. All right. Welcome back to another episode of Stop the
Burnout. So this is a continuation on our miniseries, and every week I'm
bringing some of my clients' success stories, the biggest lessons that came from
their journey, and really the strategies that we developed to create these
breakthroughs. And my hope is whether we work together or not, we as in you
and the listener and me, work together or not, that you are still able to
implement the things that I talk about in these episodes.

So I'm gonna walk you through a client success story of mine, and then I
[00:02:00] will walk you through the process if you'd like to try and recreate
this in your daily life so that you will have less stress and break that burnout
cycle.

[00:02:00–00:04:00] A Veterinarian Stuck in an Overloaded Workday

All right, so today we're starting off with a client of mine who is a
veterinarian.

She works in general practice. This is a privately owned practice. And I mean, if
you haven't experienced this, then you might not be in vet med. She was always
getting home late after, at least an hour, if not longer, after every shift. And you
know, this is general practice. This isn't ER, so you would think, granted there's
always emergencies, but it's a little bit easier or should be a little bit easier.

It's a little more structured, right? Um, but she was like, "Oh my gosh, the
whole-- The schedule's always overloaded. I always feel like I'm being pulled in
so many different directions, and I don't... can't get anything done. And then at
the end of the day, I'm left with this pile of [00:03:00] records." And they have
AI, and she's like, "It's not that.

It's just I've got to go through everything. I just have no time to do that during
the day." So that was a challenge obviously, but also she's like, "Even during
the day, I feel like I am so overextended 'cause our schedule is just pa-slammed." And the philosophy, the practice that I'm at is that, anyone that wants
to come in comes in, in, in addition to scheduled appointments.

Okay. So this is, like, a very familiar thing I think for many of us. So I got really
clear on, okay. She's like... And the other thing she said, she's like, "You know,
this is something that I've tried to bring up, and it just doesn't seem to change,
and nothing happens." And I'm like, "Okay, interesting. I have some thoughts
on that, and now I wanna know more."

So I'm like, "Well, tell me more about, like, what that looks like." And she's
like, "Well, I tried to bring it up, and I was really met with, [00:04:00] like,
'Well, you know, it's really hard to control. We don't, you know, know,
obviously, people are gonna call. They're gonna need to come in. It's hard to
predict. It's vet med.

[00:04:00–00:06:00] When Speaking Up Seems to Go Nowhere

It's sometimes chaotic.' And, this support team member called out, and so we're
down a staff member. That makes it hard." You know, she's ki- kind of like I
was given excuses that didn't really give me a solution at all. It was more of an
excuse of, like, "No, this is how it's gonna be." So no wonder why , you know,
she felt very disempowered and really, like, "Oh, my gosh, is this w- am I stuck
in having to experience this every day?"

And she even started, when we started working together, looking for other jobs.
And I said okay, so sure, not every practice is like this, but I think a vast
majority of, of us have, if not all of us, have experienced a day like this. So I
asked her, "You know, going to another practice, what if this happens again?"

And she's like, "Well, [00:05:00] I'm just gonna try and look for the practices
and, like, really ask them when I interview, is that is this something that you
guys do? Like, how do you deal with it?" I'm like, "Okay" That is a decent
strategy, but it feels like a lot because she actually liked the team she worked
with.

She liked everyone else there. There, she didn't really have a lot of other
challenges. I'm like, "So you're gonna leave an entire job over this..." And I
won't say one situation because it's like your whole day, right? It's a lot. But she
was kinda like, "Yeah." I'm like, "Okay. Let's, before we jump ship, you know,
let's look at this a little more strategically and see if we can't get you to the point
that it, this is more manageable for you."

Because you can go to, speaking from personal experience as well as working
with my coaching clients, I'm like, you can go to another practice and they can
tell you that. Like, how many times have you, or heard of a story where you ask
something in a job interview, they're like, "No, [00:06:00] we don't do that," and
then you start working there and they definitely do that?

[00:06:00–00:08:00] Pushing Through the Day Comes at a Cost

So I was like I would hope that if they're telling you they don't, then they don't.
But again, they're, it's not, those aren't the right questions to ask. It's more of
like, what is your process for this? Because maybe they haven't run into that
problem, and if they do run into that problem at a new practice, how are they
handling it?

That's what we wanna know. So even before we get to that point, uh, she shared
a little bit more, like what, uh, she was experiencing on the every day, and I
said, "Okay, so tell me a little bit about how you're, like, coping with this." And
she's like, "Well, I'm not." I'm like understandable." She's like, "But most of the
time I just kinda, like, grit my teeth, put my head down, and just plow through."

I'm like, "Okay, that sounds like many of us." And she's like, "But the problem
is yeah, I can get through the day, but then I'm, like, being snappy with people.
I'm getting frustrated. I'm being short." [00:07:00] And it's really not... I'm like,
"So it sounds like we're not dealing with it." And she's like, "Yeah." "Okay. So
it's like you're getting through the day, but it's costing you a lot, and it's not
feeling good in the process."

And she's like, "Yes, exactly." "Okay." So the other thing that I got into was
like, "Okay, tell me about how you have tried to address this," and obviously
we, you had said, you know, what you were met with, and people, leadership
was like, "Well, it's just what it is. We can't predict this, and it's vet bet." She's
like, "Well, because I get snappy sometimes, like I'll say stuff like, 'Well, this
wouldn't have happened if, the technician didn't take 20 minutes doing a history
before I could even get in the room.'"

I'm like, "Okay." And she's like, "And that's the thing. Like I don't... I like these
people that I work with, but when I can see it all happening and how screwed
I'm gonna be as far as time goes, then it, I'm getting [00:08:00] frustrated." I'm
like, "Yeah, I, I, you have a right to be," right? 'Cause you, many of us too I
think as veterinarians, we're seeing like that slow train wreck, right?

[00:08:00–00:10:00] Trying to Address the Chaos in the Moment

And we know it's gonna happen, and we're like, "Can we slow this down at all
so it doesn't feel so bad?" So she said, um, "The other thing too is, you know,
like I've said to management 'Hey, this is like not cool. Like, I don't even know
what to tell you, but if, if another person comes in, like I can't see it.

This isn't happening.'" I'm like, "Okay." So the way she explained more of this
to me was that, she's like, "I talked to management, and then I've saw the owner
of the practice. We were both doing appointments that day," and she's like, "I
would say like, 'Hey, like this is craziness. It's really chaotic.'" And, she was
having a really busy day as well.

So I'm like, "Okay." So let me, I'm gonna mirror back to you what I'm hearing,
and tell me if I'm wrong. I told her, I said, "This is something [00:09:00] where
you've tried to address it, sounds like, in kind of like the thick of the moment.
Have you had sit-down times where you've talked about this?" And she's like,
"Yeah, usually, like, after the shift, it's the owner and myself, and we're, like,
maybe, you know, now doing callbacks and trying to write records," and you
know, talking to her about it.

I'm like, "Okay." So and that really wasn't... You know, she's shared, like, that
really wasn't met with a great response either. It was kind of the same thing that
management had said of like, "Well, you know, it's hard to control," blah, blah,
blah. So she felt like she really hit a dead end, and I, I get it. I can see where she
would feel that way, and no wonder why in this position you would feel and I'm
saying you because if you're listening and you're like, "That was my fucking last
Tuesday That's my, that was my day," you have to realize that that feels very
permanent, and it feels like, A, I asked for help, and I didn't get it, and B, I don't
see any other options, and [00:10:00] C, now I'm looking for another job, right?

[00:10:00–00:12:00] Shifting the Conversation Away From Blame

Like, we got... We went from having a really shitty day to we're looking for a
new job real fast. I asked her, I said, "What are you..." You know, she's like,
when, when she was talking to the owner of the practice, I'm like, "So what
were the, some of the things that you brought up?" And she's like, "You know,
so and so," same thing.

She's like, "You know, so and so took forever to do a history. That person took,
you know, receptionist took a long time to get them checked in, so then there
was a bottleneck." I'm like, "Okay." And so I'm like, "Have you," and I don't
mean this rudely at all, I was like, "Have you talked about how it affects you
personally without having the external circumstances?"

And she's like, "What do you mean?" I said, "Have you brought up how this
affects you without bringing in what other people have or haven't done
correctly?" And she's, like, thinking about it. She's like, "No," because that's
what happened with the day, right? Receptionist told [00:11:00] them they
could come in.

Management said, "You have to deal with it." Technicians fr- in this particular
day were just, um, not on, on par for whatever reason and, you know, that's
another set of challenges sometimes. But I said, "Okay, well let me put it this
way. If you were to tell them where this was challenging for you, and without,
having these other people thrown into the mix, even if the other people and their
actions were what w- was making your day hard, before you bring those people
into that fold, what are you afraid that you...

If you said, 'Hey, I can't handle this,' or, uh, 'This isn't working for me,' what are
you afraid would happen if you brought it up in that manner?" And she's like,
"Um, you know, after she kinda thought about it for a little bit, she's like, "I feel
like I don't wanna be seen as incompetent, like I can't, you know, do my job,
and that you know, I'm not..."

She's like, "I'm also, like, not doing anything wrong. I'm trying to do my job and
I can't." I'm like, "I totally get it. Okay." [00:12:00] So when you also are
coming from a place, I shared with her, that you are feeling like these external
circumstances are what is making your situation challenging, and is that a true
reality?

[00:12:00–00:14:00] Recognizing Your Capacity Without Feeling Incompetent

Yes, but if you can't change that, if you could not change that at all, then what
can you own to some degree to be able to change your experience? And so that's
kind of what prompted that conversation of like, oh my gosh, I can't... I don't
want them to think that I don't know what I'm doing, that I'm incompetent.

I'm like okay." So- I shared with her, I'm like, "Okay, there's a couple tactical
things here, and there's a couple thought process shifts." The thought process
mindset shift, first and foremost, is that we wanna see this, that we aren't doing
anything wrong by asking [00:13:00] for help and setting essentially parameters
around our capacity.

And this has been drilled into our brains for decades, maybe centuries at this
point, especially, I would say, with the current workforce in the last, I don't
know, 40, 50 years. It feels unsafe to tell someone that we can't do more, we
can't handle this, we can't, we can't do f- more of what they're asking us.

And yes, in her example, like, I'm like, "You're not doing anything wrong," but
it's not that it's a right or wrong. It's just, "This is what I can and can't do,
regardless of what shit show happens elsewhere," right, in the hospital. "This is
what is in my control." And so when we can focus on what that means to you, it
doesn't matter if the day...

'Cause the other thing is, if the day went beautiful and everyone else is doing
their job, but you still can't handle it [00:14:00] because, I don't know, maybe
you had, like, a family crisis or there was something else, are you going to... It
doesn't, right, it doesn't matter. The other people outside of you did, did your
job, did their job, but now you can't do yours.

[00:14:00–00:15:00] Stop Trying to Manage Everything Around You

So it almost doesn't matter if people outside your job aren't doing theirs. It's
what are you gonna do with that information, and how are you going to deliver
that? So she's like, "Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Like, I keep trying to get
the technician to move faster, get receptionists to know that that client is there
and get them checked in."

And I'm like, "Yeah, and that feels fucking exhausting because now you're
playing manager. You're now trying to overshadow everything." And I did ask
her too, "Okay, if you didn't do that next shift and it's chaotic and you pulled
that back, what are you afraid of happening?" And she's like it's just gonna be a
longer day.

There's more chaos." And I'm like, "Yeah." So if you haven't, listen to last
week's episode because we get right [00:15:00] into the meat of how to let shit
hit the fan and not do everyone's job. And letting hit, shit hit the fan is a way of
really identifying what is the bottleneck and what needs to change without us
trying to pick up all the pieces.